Cocaine crack questions

[jimborg]

Well, it's been fun guys. I'm sure I'll regret 75% of my posts when I'm coming down but I had fun pouring out my soul to you (hopefully) random strangers. Take care and I hope my sociopathic comments don't make you loathe me too much. Take half of it with a grain of salt since I'm on a crack binge...

Off to score more while wife is at PTA mtg (she's a T in that acronym... Thankfully we have no children yet or I would truly hate myself). Let's hoe she doesn't notice the $500+ cash withdrawals off my credit card bill this month... Honestly the key is planning way ahead for every possibility and then actually BELIEVING your lies.. That's what makes a good liar and it keeps the guilt buried way down in your subconscious...

Later

 

[thelung]

eek od-->tds ? :-/

 

[3DayRun]

Damn, I dunno, I just read what you said and definitely just feel pity. You're a rock monster while your wife is at a PTA meeting?

Hah, I mean, to each their own, but is your life that bad that you need to puff the stones?

 

[Binge Artist]

What "cracks" me up about this thread is how ol' Jimbo is nearly the POLAR opposite of me when I do coke.

He gets all "heartless" and "deceptive" when he's high, and keeps mostly to himself.

^That's how I am sober. When I'm high, I start having these bizzare feelings of "concern for the emotional well being of others" and other gay shit like that, along with becoming incredibly social, outgoing, and volunteering to help people.

Jimbo must be my "bizzaro world" opposite.

 

[jimborg]

Nah, you don't come across as that.

You just come across as someone high on crack. Which is cool, in my opinion. It's your choice.

Question, any reasons for your self descructive behavior or is it a "just 'cause" type thing? I'm honestly curious

A great question I've pondered many times as I age and blow opportunities left and right. Nature? Nurture?

My Dad is a functional alcoholic (a doctor) who I adore and who secretly detests my mother. She means well and is "nice" on the outside but a passive-aggressive, insecure controlling bitch on the inside.

My dad is mostly incapable of sharing feelings (very old school, stoic.. i.e., keep your emotions to yourself) and I had self-image problems during HS since I could never find a girl who liked me (since I was in the outcast/nerd crowd) so my Mom and I formed an unhealthy codependent relationship to satisfy eachother's emotional needs that weren't being otherwise met.. Controlling love/hate relationship. And my dad the caring doctor always had a pill to fix anything.

Oh yeah, and I was majorly hazed in HS on the football team. Like, beaten unconscious, humiliated, etc.

And yeah... Whoever said "this is him high" is right. And actually I'm an introvert sober (but also impulsive sober). I think crack just amplifies fleeting emotions and gives you a sense of control and power. I can only imagine an extrovert with violent tendencies on crack.

I've learned over the years that we're all schizo, bipolar, depressed, manic, ... We all suffer from every psych diagnosis in the book to SOME degree... It's a continuum which is why I feel psych labels are silly... Some drugs shift the continuum.

That's thousands of $ of therapy at work. But really what's all that worth?

 

[jimborg]

eek od-->tds ? :-/

Yeah sorry guys. I know this has turned into a train wreck. At this point it's TDS material for sure. If I feel like it maybe I'll reincarnate an FAQ for crack but with all the ups and downs it won't happen soon.

And just so you guys don't think I'm a completely heartless bastard, during comedown, w/d and even after that I'm wracked with guilt and self loathing. Maybe I do more drugs to punish myself or to try to kill myself slowly - who the fuck knows. It's a cycle of self-pity and nasty shit.

But that's what keeps me trying to squeeze as much pleasure as possible out of the here and now.

 

[jimborg]

Time for the comedown... Btw to answer an earlier question - benzos, suboxone, dxm, benadryl, pot... Any depressant on hand.

See you guys next time...

 

[Spike2009]

<SNIP>

this isn't a bulletin board to post your fav links... plz refrain from doing so in the future. djsim

 

[Pharcyde]

It amazes to no end that you can find such an unhealthy action (lying about drug use / hiding it) from a significant other

Any drug addict will do that, yeah even you. Dont judge this man because he lies. He is a drug user we all fucking lie.

 

[Binge Artist]

this isn't a bulletin board to post your fav links... plz refrain from doing so in the future. djsim

So, does this mean I can't use the URL for PornHub as my signature?


Anyway...looks like it's about time for Jimbo to post of today's Crack Adventure. Bring on the healing!

 

[Londoner]

First post so hi all... I've been following this thread for a while, it's pretty funny! I smoke rock too, most days and also use heroin daily - recently been smoking crack daily too, for the last month or so. The h really stops me fiending, not totally but it really helps, not that I'd recommend anyone to start using brown, or crack for that matter. Just met my link for the 2nd time today - got .8 rock and have just under a gran of H. I'm starting deliberate h w/d's tomorrow and won't be smoking any more crack either - I'm emigrating in 10 days so this is the last hard drugs for me. I use a small martell bottle (3cl) with the base knocked out and some Brillo (chore) in the neck, it's nice and easy to get the resin out of after a session - sounds like those rose stems break real easy - I can use naail scissors to collect the residue with my trusty bottle! I'm interested in the pre-melt you guys in the states do. Never heard of it before - why'd you do it? Doesn't seem to be any need and it strikes me as wasteful... Pipes calling me now, I'll check for responses in a bit!

 

[Londoner]

As mentioned, just read page 5 and re-read a few of the others. I also prefer to smoke alone or with a couple of select friends with their own stash and own pipe, I hate waiting for the pipe to come back round, especially as after exhaling people start getting really animated and chatty before finishing off the hit - I hate the "hurry the fuck up" screaming in my head - and then there is the uncharecteristic (for me) thoughts of "was his hit bigger than mine" thoughts that pop into your head if a rock is being shared. My savings have been decimated, luckily most of my money is now unaccesable abroad or this would never stop. There is sometimes "cakey" stuff around here to, don't like it, harder to smoke and it gets stuck on fingers and the wrap etc. Jim - your peeking out the window and looking for missing gear on the floor, bed, worktop etc is all normal crackhead behaviour - sorry! I've seen people picking up lumps of White stuff and trying to smoke it that were bigger than the rock they had in the first place - the stuff makes you crazy - but feels damn good!

 

[Binge Artist]

As mentioned, just read page 5 and re-read a few of the others. I also prefer to smoke alone or with a couple of select friends with their own stash and own pipe, I hate waiting for the pipe to come back round, especially as after exhaling people start getting really animated and chatty before finishing off the hit

Fuck smoking alone.

Smoking with about 3-4 hookers FTW

 

[Londoner]

Hi binge - like I say - there are a couple of friends I smoke with, and who I'm as happy to smoke with as I am to smoke alone, with others or strangers, forget it - much rather be alone. As those friends are working all the time and I'm not I'm quite happy to get high alone, or at least do the smoking alone and spend the high with people who don't know. Which is what happens when the mrs is here, about 10 mind from now! I'll have a pipe in the bathroom then go sit and chat with her, so really although I smoke "alone" I'm not really if that makes sense?! As for the hookers, I pay for drugs, not going to pat to get laid!!

 

[shake]

jimbo's crack social is all this threads is.

 

[3DayRun]

We all lie? Really? See, that's one thing that I never allowed myself to do. I'm upfront about my use in a "need to know" basis. I don't volunteer that I smoke meth, and I wont' disclose that when applying for work, but in my social life? I don't hide it. If someone's gonna judge me based on my psychoative substance I prefer, then fuck 'em.

Also, I'm not judging him because of the drug, but I fundamentally disagree with putting another's emotional well-being at risk, because of a hedonistic activity. Either be out in the open or don't do it. Why hide shit from your significant other?

 

[Londoner]

Ha yeah that's true I've been lurking and reading for a few months now and am suprised it hasn't been moved - normally the mods are all over stuff like that. So does anyone have an answer re the pre-melt or is it just how it's done in the states with no specific function? I'd think it just degraded the gear and would personally be a bit iffy about melting a rock, do you melt it completely? Why not just smoke it sitting on the chore? Over here we might melt it a tiny bit just so it sticks to the chore and you can hold the pipe horizontally but that's about all, so what's up?

 

[Sorce]

Best bluelight thread ever.

"gotta go to the projects to score crack while my wife is at the PTA meeting"

rofl I will remember that quote forever

 

[Binge Artist]

putting another's emotional well-being at risk

Lol...the hell does that even MEAN??

 

[thelung]

I'm waiting patiently for todays crack smoking adventure from jimborg...