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Scared Crack cocaine addiction

J

james125

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 31, 2014
Messages
35
I'm fairy educated and I have a good job. I've been purchasing drugs online for the past few years. Most of them I bought just out f curiosity. However recently I have developed a drug addiction. After work I spend the evening smoking, some times to 3am, alone by myself. I always say to myself, just one more drag but it doesn't stop. I have been taking benzodiazepines in an attempt to reduce the blood pressure and pain in my heart and tightness in my muscles. But usually I over do it and have been taking days off work for 'sickness' when in reality I'm in a deep sleep from the downers and can't wake up.

I have a few friends but they are pub / drug user friends. Where do I start?
 
crack’s the worst huh. go to aa or na. if you don’t like the first meeting you go to, just find another. you don’t have to find a sponsor or do the steps if you don’t want to. helps fill the time you would have spent getting high. and the support is helpful. i’ve gone to about 100 aa meetings and i don’t even know what step one is.

excercise once you can. if the most you can do is go for a walk, that will still do a lot to make you feel better.

sorry to hear you’re having a hard time. quitting crack feels good as fuck. so you got something to look forward to.
 
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you need to identify which are the causes of your usage and try to fix them too, it is essential for long term recovery.

I was addicted to crack and cocaine and it was a nightmare to quit them but I succeed mainly by building up a new life, new habits, and fixing lifetime problems with my family, etc . If you have a god job and education, things will be easier...
 
If you have a job, you have little free time to do other activities. You must occupy this free time with other things, go to the gym, get a dog, these apparently obvious and outdated tasks are the ones that work
 
@james125 , How did the holidays go?? I have always found them hard on stimulants, Crack is a drag due to needing to hit the pipe so often, that I would get lost for hours and fuck everything up!!! " Where the Hell have you been, and why are your eyes so fucked up"
Hope it went well for you??
All is well
 
HELP! Fuck crack cocaine.

I need your thoughts, help and spiritual well wishes, please! Please.

I got myself fucked up on crack cocaine this holiday season. Anyone who knows me from OD would likely be surprised that this one has hooked me so fast. I haven't used crack much and don't write about it as it's never been an issue before this week. I am into my sixth decade here on earth and suffered and got through benzo, alcohol, heroin (IV), meth, powdered and IV coke habits and was doing well, a short period of heroin relapse in Oct/Nov notwithstanding. My benzo dose is quite normal now and prescribed, but I am still tapering.

Crack has been an issue for a week or two each year around the holidays as I travel to a different city than my own and it's just a 20min RT to cop pretty much whenever I can break free from the jail cell of my relative's house (someone is always here to ask where and why I need to go somewhere alone - I was a recovering IV heroin addict here fifteen years ago).

I am jonesing very, very badly to go buy rock RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

Like go out and get in my car and just drive to the block of trap houses and blow a benjamin on a bunch of pretty decent stuff. I have everything I need to do it, just need to the excuse to escape.

I know I should not but that fucking shit has me by the metaphorical balls and definitely has hold of my frontal cortex fucking up my decision making.

I need someone to write something to help me. I read this entire thread and others and the answers to any questions I have are there for the most part.

Tell me it will be alright, tell me I am worth more than this, as a human am I not?

FUCK I am hurting! I wish I had never touched that fucking shit. The five minutes of "bliss" is not worth the $ nor the comedown - even with RC benzos or diazepam.

Also - which is the set-up for cocaethylene? I want to be safe if I do cave - if I drink after starting to use will I produce cocaethylene or do I have to drink before or after using to get that blasted MF high that to me feels really dirty until I need to come down.

Folks - If I triggered anyone I am deeply sorry.

I'm a sorry ass motherfucker and am hating myself and my fucked up drug addicted life!

I know what to do to help the cravings longer term, please help me get through the next 24 hours... after that I get my prescription for my ADHD medication back and I will probably not do both at the same time - that's not too likely.

I believe I'll be good in 48 hours at most, but... in the mean time, theoretically but very likely not - I could catch a felony, get beat the fuck out myself, ripped off or kill myself by overdoing it thinking this is the "last time, so go big!" Really though I've been around the scene here enough to be recognized and not fucked with as I have been quite a customer these past two weeks - and in the past.

How I feel right now?

Go big! Go score, but I know it's not OK.

Thanks to any who respond. I could use wisdom and support even if it's three weeks from now. This shit is fucked, the cravings are so fucking intense and it's been 72 hours since I had any.

Or maybe this is just to rant and get it out... whatever... you guys decide.

Thanks.
 
^
good crack euphoria makes opiates feel like apple juice. unlike opiates, there’s no physical dependence so you only gotta get a few days off. you’ll replappce a couple times in life. drugs sucks and that’s how it goes. try not to. any time you’re out smoking crack with corner boys or even in the privacy of your home, you’re putting your freedom and life at risk.

once you establish some distance, you’ll still have some occasional cravings. but not like dope. though i still dream about crack, not heroin. life is full of challenges. try to win. i’m rooting for you.

crack addiction is hell on earth.
 
Eat something, take a shower, breathe in thru your nose and out through your mouth, try to be only on the present moment.
Please believe, them boys in the hood think you're a joke for spending like you do! They Do Not like you!!!
Decide to have your dignity today! Think of something else you would like to blow that benjamin on! Please don't use crack today and tomorrow will be better
Peace
 
Delete all your cocaine related contacts!
Break off contact to all cocaine users!
Steer clear of booze!

Every time you crave cocaine for it's desirable effects, STOP THAT TRAIN OF THOUGHT!

Instead, remind yourself of the darkness cocaine brought into your life. If it hasn't, it will.
Remind yourself of the people you've traded in for your addiction. If you haven't, you will.
Remind yourself of the life you are missing and the money you lost.

Feel all your guilt and shame and use it to stay sober and never go back.

At the same time look ahead and figure out what to do with your time and money. Just imagine the possibilities.

There is no cure for cocaine addiction, you are your own worst enemy. It is possible to stay sober, but there is a long road ahead of you. If you don't stop now, that road will lead much further down into the darkest corners of your soul.

<3

EDIT: Thank god for every second you haven't touched that needle!
 
Although this originally posted some nine months ago, I feel there’s never too much helpful grounding/recovery/spirit-reclaiming support out there so for what it’s worth to anyone who’s struggling I’ll offer this...

speedball’s-over, et al~

when you experience a craving, don’t fight the feeling. As the age-old saying goes: “what you resist persists.”
If you’re having that feeling, it’s there. To deny it or refuse to acknowledge it is to refuse reality.
the fact of the matter is, if you’ve been a user of addictive drugs you’re going to experience cravings intermittently likely the rest of your life. A feeling in and of itself is not a problem. It’s not a threat. It’s just a feeling and therefore meant to be felt. Feelings are transitory; they do not last. Nothing is permanent after all, including your cravings.
if you can, it goes without saying to consider alternative options of action rather than acting on your craving. As mentioned above—drink a glass of water, call a friend you can talk to about it, dance, dive into a book, eat food.
if you can’t, try just sitting with the feeling and observe it as separate from you bc after all, you are not your feelings. They are just passing sensations that flow through a “you” whose identity as a self is, let’s face it, already a dubious supposition.
Nothing is happening TO YOU. Find peace in the very real possibility that what you consider to be “you” who is suffering is really just a collection of moments experienced by a higher awareness that can watch the tortured drama of the self you call “you” play out before it like a movie on a screen.
if you can appreciate this concept and practice what is at the essence of what Buddhists call “mindfulness” you may not only free yourself of suffering and the enslavement of your cravings but you may also get some entertainment and amusement from watching the way our poor sweet human minds think and think and fling themselves into melodramas that assert and insist on themselves as individual tangible entities, indeed “...full of sound and fury, signifying...nothing.”

a bit grandiose perhaps but no less true and a path toward an immediate and sudden cessation of suffering!

peace and blessings
Love and kindness

andimout
 
Although this originally posted some nine months ago, I feel there’s never too much helpful grounding/recovery/spirit-reclaiming support out there so for what it’s worth to anyone who’s struggling I’ll offer this...

speedball’s-over, et al~

when you experience a craving, don’t fight the feeling. As the age-old saying goes: “what you resist persists.”
If you’re having that feeling, it’s there. To deny it or refuse to acknowledge it is to refuse reality.
the fact of the matter is, if you’ve been a user of addictive drugs you’re going to experience cravings intermittently likely the rest of your life. A feeling in and of itself is not a problem. It’s not a threat. It’s just a feeling and therefore meant to be felt. Feelings are transitory; they do not last. Nothing is permanent after all, including your cravings.
if you can, it goes without saying to consider alternative options of action rather than acting on your craving. As mentioned above—drink a glass of water, call a friend you can talk to about it, dance, dive into a book, eat food.
if you can’t, try just sitting with the feeling and observe it as separate from you bc after all, you are not your feelings. They are just passing sensations that flow through a “you” whose identity as a self is, let’s face it, already a dubious supposition.
Nothing is happening TO YOU. Find peace in the very real possibility that what you consider to be “you” who is suffering is really just a collection of moments experienced by a higher awareness that can watch the tortured drama of the self you call “you” play out before it like a movie on a screen.
if you can appreciate this concept and practice what is at the essence of what Buddhists call “mindfulness” you may not only free yourself of suffering and the enslavement of your cravings but you may also get some entertainment and amusement from watching the way our poor sweet human minds think and think and fling themselves into melodramas that assert and insist on themselves as individual tangible entities, indeed “...full of sound and fury, signifying...nothing.”

a bit grandiose perhaps but no less true and a path toward an immediate and sudden cessation of suffering!

peace and blessings
Love and kindness

andimout
 
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