Cocaine Control?

[JM357]

A lot of people here have had very serious addictions- so don't ever be ashamed about that. We may not have gone through the EXACT same thing (for example my DOC is heroin) but we know, in general, what it is like to be out of control.

I do feel like there are some differences in treatment for cocaine as compared to other drugs which seem to be commonly abused here (it seems like opioid and benzo habits are the most common). On one hand there are no physical withdrawals (at least not in the sense we generally think of them- there can be rebound effects and changes in brain chem) with coke as mentioned above- so that is a plus (you won't have to go through the shaking, sweating, possible seizures (benzos, barbituarates, alcohol), etc.) like you would with those. On the other hand there doesn't seem to be the same level of pharmacological intervention or maintanence therapies like there are with say opioids. There have been a lot of good suggestions above.

I really don't think I have ever seen people put others down for an addiction here like you might hear on the streets (it can be surprising how much someone addicted to cocaine might judge a heroin addict, and vice versa but I don't see that here).

 

[beels]

Damn that sweet glorious white powder, been using it for about 4 years, recently IV mostly since I found a good source for the £100a gram shit. But now kicking myself as it's Coming up to Christmas and I've Been too selfish with money.
Recently it is my toughest addiction, but man there's good advice on here, and nobody judges people on this forum, which is why I'm still here.
One day down the line, you'll forget all about it and you'll find happiness in other thing my friend, like holidays, movies, friends, exercise, whatever just you know three is more out there than coco.

 

[BadHero]

I have failed.... Well, stumbled... Another death in the family 5 days ago. I found out whilst I was at work and one of my colleagues said, I assume as some sort of twisted joke, "What's wrong with your family? Do they not know how to stay alive?". I pretended I didn't hear the comment and left work. Going back this week was very hard but it kept me occupied and mentally drained me so I had no cravings at all.

As i was leaving tonight, I found out that the funeral is on SUnday which is the same day as my daughter's birthday party and they both start at the same time. It pushed me close to the edge. My fella rocks up to collect me from work and tells me has has scored 3 g's... I caved as soon as I got home. I did one of his and then scored another 2 which have been put on a tab.

I knew I had let myself down as soon as I did the first line and I've spent the majority of the evening berating myself for my lack of control.

I am starting with the cadets in the new year and I am doing my weekly meetings although I feel like an outsider there. A lot of the people have serious addictions and, in comparison, I am an amatuer!!

On the upside, I have started writing again.... I suppose it's a journal of sorts but one that I share with a few people who know me and my past and who support rather than judge!! I'm hoping, in time, to share my journal more widely. Although I don't believe that it will be something people will be interested in, they might be able to offer an insight to areas in my blind spot!!

6 deaths in 7 months, my partner has been made redundant, I'm having hell at work and feel so emotionally overwhelmed, and yet, simultaneously, drained.

Roll on 2016 and I'm hoping it's a better year.

 

[BadHero]

Damn that sweet glorious white powder, been using it for about 4 years, recently IV mostly since I found a good source for the £100a gram shit. But now kicking myself as it's Coming up to Christmas and I've Been too selfish with money.
Recently it is my toughest addiction, but man there's good advice on here, and nobody judges people on this forum, which is why I'm still here.
One day down the line, you'll forget all about it and you'll find happiness in other thing my friend, like holidays, movies, friends, exercise, whatever just you know three is more out there than coco.

I have found happiness and it's something I can get from the smallest and simplest things in life.
What I am lacking, I believe, is comfort. As soon as my head and heart got used to the loss of one person, another one died. I have emotional support from family and friends but it's not what I need. I am trying to find a way to fill the void which has been created by so much loss. Time is a great healer and I know it will get easier to embrace and accept the void.
I have looked at going on holiday next year. I want to go back to New York... I felt at home and at peace when I was there. Something about that city is good for me. My partner is being made redundant in March and is getting his redundancy payout and we are going to use some of it for a holiday.