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Constant visuals and head pressure is making me feel nearly suicidal.
- Thread starter ykim768
- Start date
Drunkdancer
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2015
- Messages
- 8
I have all the same issues you are having since I took around half a gram of non tested "mdma" crystals via bombs last August. I still suffer daily and I am far from 100%. Are you from England as I would very much like to give you a bell and talk to someone going through the same symptoms? Cheers fella
I have all the same issues you are having since I took around half a gram of non tested "mdma" crystals via bombs last August. I still suffer daily and I am far from 100%. Are you from England as I would very much like to give you a bell and talk to someone going through the same symptoms? Cheers fella
I'm from US. Do you mean you still have HPPD from last year?
I'm suffering from constant visuals from HPPD and really need to know if anyone had been through this. My main symptom is palinopsia.
Everything I look at leaves me an after-image, the walls are always shimmering and look like slightly breathing/moving, and I see patterns as well.
My vision is covered with thick visual snow, which greatly reduced my night vision and makes all these visuals so much worse.
It had been 6 months since I got HPPD yet I have not seen any improvement with my symptoms. Of course I've been staying sober from all drugs including alcohol and caffeine, and had been to several doctors and done lots testing however they found nothing wrong with my physical health. I'm planning to see another neurologist for a second opinion, and a psychiatrist to rule out any mental illness, but I'm feeling hopeless about my situation.
When do I expect to see improvement, if at all? I'm doing everything I can to stay healthy however everything is gradually getting more severe.
Please help.
Everything I look at leaves me an after-image, the walls are always shimmering and look like slightly breathing/moving, and I see patterns as well.
My vision is covered with thick visual snow, which greatly reduced my night vision and makes all these visuals so much worse.
It had been 6 months since I got HPPD yet I have not seen any improvement with my symptoms. Of course I've been staying sober from all drugs including alcohol and caffeine, and had been to several doctors and done lots testing however they found nothing wrong with my physical health. I'm planning to see another neurologist for a second opinion, and a psychiatrist to rule out any mental illness, but I'm feeling hopeless about my situation.
When do I expect to see improvement, if at all? I'm doing everything I can to stay healthy however everything is gradually getting more severe.
Please help.
ykim768, let me try and answer/give you advice as best as I can.
I've been pretty ill from a panic attack on an MDMA+Ketamine+Nos combinationI was okay for a few weeks after but then I took a turn for the worst. I've since been suffering from depersonilisation and derealisation disorder for exactly 7 months to this day. During this time I have spent a lot of time researching HPPD as I have been convinced that was my problem until I found out most with DP/DR suffer some similar visual problems to those with HPPD but on a much more milder scale and only really includes things like visuals snow, light sensitivity, floaters and afterimages etc. At this point im pretty convinced that I dont have 'true' HPPD but I still understand how scary it can be to suffer from such visual problems. My main problems are visual snow, which I only see in certain lighting conditions and against certain backgrounds (90% of the time I have to actively look for it), afterimages from bright lights and occasionally text (this does not bother me most of the time), occasionally floaters, and sensitivity to bright lights/outside/starbursting from car headlights.
Out of interest, what do you mean by 'I see patterns'?
Okay so heres what I can tell you, unfortunately not much is known in regards to HPPD so its likely you'll get conflicting advice and stories, but what does seem to be common is that any drug use makes it worse! So you're on the right track by not using anything else. Also, most with HPPD benefit from exercise but some claim it makes visuals worse for a short while afterwards. Dr.Abraham is one of the leading researchers in HPPD so it's worth looking at some of his work. Around 50% of his patients made a slow but full recovery over a 5 year period. He has stated that recovery can still occur after 5 years so please do not feel discouraged by this. He has looked at various medications and there still isn't anything available that cures HPPD but there are medications that help. Clonazepam(klonopin) is the main medication used and is widely successful, although obviously comes with the dangers of benzo use but I Imagine that would be better than living a life with constant visuals. Some HPPD suffers rotate their klono use (e.g. fri/sat/sun -On Klono, others days off) to avoid potential addiction and tolerance issues. Other medications worth looking at are dopamine based medications such as sinemet or keppra.
In regards to the worsening of your symptoms, this isn't common for HPPD suffers (unless they carry on drug use) but isn't unheard of and I have read of people saying their HPPD worsened over a period till it reached a baseline and then it didnt get any worse. This is when youre likely to start recovering if not before.
What I have learnt from forums and around the internet is that a large percentage of those with chronic and persistent HPPD is that they learn to live with it and live somewhat decent lives. My advice to you is to wait for as long as possible before trying medications to see if gets better on its own, and in the meanwhile do all the normal things you can do to stay healthy; exercise (cardio and weightlifting), healthy diet (I recommend a diet high in plant based foods), drink plenty of water, practice good sleep hygiene, reduce anxiety/stress as much as possible etc
As I said little is known about HPPD, so its impossible to say when and if you will recover or get better or get worse. Nobody knows, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't stay positive. There is one guy who's HPPD is so bad he can't even look his wife in the eyes without the rest of the room disappearing, when he looks at his white cat all he sees is two eyes! And he says everyday is still somewhat of a battle but....he has his own business, he is married, and enjoys things like surfing and playing football. He also said for the first couple of years he barely left the house and was pretty much suicidal, but eventually the depression went away and he left England on his own to live in Portugal for a 12 years. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel...no matter how bad it seems at this current moment.
Hope this helps you and if I think of any other advice I let you know. Feel free to PM at any time.
I've been pretty ill from a panic attack on an MDMA+Ketamine+Nos combinationI was okay for a few weeks after but then I took a turn for the worst. I've since been suffering from depersonilisation and derealisation disorder for exactly 7 months to this day. During this time I have spent a lot of time researching HPPD as I have been convinced that was my problem until I found out most with DP/DR suffer some similar visual problems to those with HPPD but on a much more milder scale and only really includes things like visuals snow, light sensitivity, floaters and afterimages etc. At this point im pretty convinced that I dont have 'true' HPPD but I still understand how scary it can be to suffer from such visual problems. My main problems are visual snow, which I only see in certain lighting conditions and against certain backgrounds (90% of the time I have to actively look for it), afterimages from bright lights and occasionally text (this does not bother me most of the time), occasionally floaters, and sensitivity to bright lights/outside/starbursting from car headlights.
Out of interest, what do you mean by 'I see patterns'?
Okay so heres what I can tell you, unfortunately not much is known in regards to HPPD so its likely you'll get conflicting advice and stories, but what does seem to be common is that any drug use makes it worse! So you're on the right track by not using anything else. Also, most with HPPD benefit from exercise but some claim it makes visuals worse for a short while afterwards. Dr.Abraham is one of the leading researchers in HPPD so it's worth looking at some of his work. Around 50% of his patients made a slow but full recovery over a 5 year period. He has stated that recovery can still occur after 5 years so please do not feel discouraged by this. He has looked at various medications and there still isn't anything available that cures HPPD but there are medications that help. Clonazepam(klonopin) is the main medication used and is widely successful, although obviously comes with the dangers of benzo use but I Imagine that would be better than living a life with constant visuals. Some HPPD suffers rotate their klono use (e.g. fri/sat/sun -On Klono, others days off) to avoid potential addiction and tolerance issues. Other medications worth looking at are dopamine based medications such as sinemet or keppra.
In regards to the worsening of your symptoms, this isn't common for HPPD suffers (unless they carry on drug use) but isn't unheard of and I have read of people saying their HPPD worsened over a period till it reached a baseline and then it didnt get any worse. This is when youre likely to start recovering if not before.
What I have learnt from forums and around the internet is that a large percentage of those with chronic and persistent HPPD is that they learn to live with it and live somewhat decent lives. My advice to you is to wait for as long as possible before trying medications to see if gets better on its own, and in the meanwhile do all the normal things you can do to stay healthy; exercise (cardio and weightlifting), healthy diet (I recommend a diet high in plant based foods), drink plenty of water, practice good sleep hygiene, reduce anxiety/stress as much as possible etc
As I said little is known about HPPD, so its impossible to say when and if you will recover or get better or get worse. Nobody knows, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't stay positive. There is one guy who's HPPD is so bad he can't even look his wife in the eyes without the rest of the room disappearing, when he looks at his white cat all he sees is two eyes! And he says everyday is still somewhat of a battle but....he has his own business, he is married, and enjoys things like surfing and playing football. He also said for the first couple of years he barely left the house and was pretty much suicidal, but eventually the depression went away and he left England on his own to live in Portugal for a 12 years. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel...no matter how bad it seems at this current moment.
Hope this helps you and if I think of any other advice I let you know. Feel free to PM at any time.
Drunkdancer
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2015
- Messages
- 8
I'm from US. Do you mean you still have HPPD from last year?
Yeah I've had all the same symptoms as you for over a year now, I'm starting to feel pretty hopeless about recovery. Do you have skype as I'd really like to talk to someone in the same situation for morale.
Yeah I've had all the same symptoms as you for over a year now, I'm starting to feel pretty hopeless about recovery. Do you have skype as I'd really like to talk to someone in the same situation for morale.
A year really isnt very long in terms of recovery. I know thats hard to except but something you have to keep in mind. Like I said 50% of people with HPPD recover within a 5 year timeframe and some still recover after that. You could wake up tomorrow and it be gone. Try to stay positive
How come no one mentions anxiety and sleep. I have 'hppd' for 2 years. Afterimages, floaters etc. When i feel calm my hppd is barely there, but when im anxious it feels like i started from day 1 again and the symptoms are way worse. Anxiety plays a major role in hppd. So calm ur tits and im sure it will get less! Also sleep really is a big factor for me personally. When i slept like shit my hppd is soooo much worse than when i had a good sleep. So try to stay as fit as possible and im 100% sure the symptons will decrease if not dissapear completely. I c ant say if drug use will worse the symptoms, it probably will if ur not fit enough. I did smoke weed and the symptons didnt get worse, unless i got anxious. So i think anxiety is the main factor. I wouldnt sugggest any hallogenic drugs like mdma and shrooms, pretty sure those make it worse. Hope this helped u a bit and feel free to ask any questions. Sry if its hard to read typing from my mobile phone.