Mental Health considering suicide

[Hezman94]

I can get seventy mg methadone tommorow
so tempted to tke it all and all my tablet with big bottle of whiskey
also wednesday i can get oxys pregabs and diazepams and my weekly script.
ive got copd fibromylgia, bipolar, bpd

my head is fucked from drugs
ive stopped abusing my morphine and feel anxious alot.

im only considering as im scared ill end up in some shit afterlife or that i end up a vegetable but still living.

i cant enjoy anthing i ant been able to since my mental illness started
i did enjoy the gym but lost passion for it after doing my back in.

i think im having paws from methadone abused it for about six weeks on top of my morphine

also having a spliff making me depressed so i basically gotta be sober apartfrom my meds which is even shitter.

i may just be feeling this way due to not crushing my morphines up.

my body isnt ill anymore but my minds worse, citalopram seemed to be helping but then it dont.

if i miss a dose of one fucking med i feel awful wtf

 

[mtu mwendawazimu]

Hezman, if you could create the ideal life, what would it look like? I see a couple things in your post that seem problematic, but i'd rather hear from you what you think about them. And of course, your doctor should know this all as well.

You are a young man and just starting to experience what life is about. It doesn't have to be the way it is right now, though. You have been through a lot, and tomorrow could honestly be the best day of your life. TBH, it probably won't be.. but if you make small steps toward your ideal lifestyle there is no doubt in my mind that happiness will be achievable.

Please talk to your doctor about this as well, and feel free to PM me any time you'd like.

Love yah bro.

 

[nuttynutskin]

OP, if you put as much effort into being proactive about your mental health as you seem to put into abusing drugs I think you'd have a lot less problems. It might have seemed to help at first but I guarantee you that substance abuse is exacerbating whatever conditions you have. Instead of taking the easy way out why not work on being an advocate for yourself? No one else is going to do it for you, only you can.

 

[Shady's Fox]

I think I remember this hezman dude, he has a lot of discombobulated posts. You have to do something to break this cycle, it's such a painful way to look at human beings, we think we are so advanced but we are primitive, more primitive than our previous civilizations. Do something to break this loop. A lot of people have this cycle

internet = drugs = eat = piss = sleep. So there you go, kill this and learn that in life no one will help you. Everything's temporary. Bottom line, all these small useless issues (in my view at least) boils down to $. These fuckin $.. nothin new anyway

''Shady in hip-hop like MCNA deep divin, you have to leave your den, in lyrcis like MDMA crystals descend down in Faya's Key's and I go backwards, this is HOW I FLY, I PAINT LYRCIS FROM EMOTIONS THIS IS WHY I DON'T HAVE SLEEP, reminiscing every memories, my Labrador life, I go up and then I fall, FIGHT FOR SUCCES, tearin to pieces in semi-basement.''

This is the underground. There's a lot of people striving for what they love and they ain't mainstream, you don't hear them on the radio neither see a famous feature but they exist. So you have to strive for what you like.

 

[mr peabody]

We're here for you now, and we'll be here for you going forward. You belong to us and we belong to you, so please stay with us. We need you here, and we love you. Baby steps, man.