4
4give me sinner
Guest
( i know the words in my name are not spelt correctly )
So today, I actually feel somewhat ok.
I went and accomplished something that didn't revolve around me or my problems, or have anything to do with me really.
My kids asked for a new bed this year. They wanted it to be bigger they said.. Not a problem as we built their last beds about 3 years ago.
So I went and got lumber, screws, new mattresses ( the good fluffy kind with great back support! ) and this weekend, I am taking them to pick out new bedding sets.
I finally can just enjoy doing something for them with out feeling like a monster. I mean yes my kids are well fed, have good clothes, a roof over their heads, and they get to and from school and all appts on time.... but emotionally lately, ever since I relapsed I haven't been able to be around them for all the guilt and shame I feel.
I hope they are still young enough not to remember me this way. I hope I can soon go back into recovery before it's too late, and most importantly, I hope to have more days like today.
So today, I actually feel somewhat ok.
I went and accomplished something that didn't revolve around me or my problems, or have anything to do with me really.
My kids asked for a new bed this year. They wanted it to be bigger they said.. Not a problem as we built their last beds about 3 years ago.
So I went and got lumber, screws, new mattresses ( the good fluffy kind with great back support! ) and this weekend, I am taking them to pick out new bedding sets.
I finally can just enjoy doing something for them with out feeling like a monster. I mean yes my kids are well fed, have good clothes, a roof over their heads, and they get to and from school and all appts on time.... but emotionally lately, ever since I relapsed I haven't been able to be around them for all the guilt and shame I feel.
I hope they are still young enough not to remember me this way. I hope I can soon go back into recovery before it's too late, and most importantly, I hope to have more days like today.