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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Recovery coming off of morphine

30 days - Good start. Managed 5 hours work today but some of that was just driving round listening to music. I live in a complex so have to keep sounds down however my work van which is the bands bright colored advertising board has a custom sound system and as it is insulated so I can have it loud without hassle. Have been working in my employers studio. He is away for some time so have no real pressure to complete the tasks I have been allocated. This has really helped me in getting my feet back on the ground. Started getting a little pissed of today with trivia. Not too good as trivia issues are a bit of a rabbit hole. Had this thinking a few weeks ago and it really freaked me out.
 
Have managed 38 days so far. Finding it hard to focus for more than 3 or four hours on one task. My sleep pattern has changed completely which has been hard to adjust to. There some real positives ( he tries to convince himself ) like my interest in playing music and retaining what I am learning and also starting to remember much more that I had dumbed down through using. My intermittent anger episodes have all but gone. I had a short fuse and lacked perserverance and even sometimes the most basic freindship obligations. I was to all intents and purposes a major pain in the arse to those I am closest to. Glad of freinds who despite my intolerance and bad ,manners over the last 2 years have stuck by me through gigs, practices and social occasions. I feel heavily indebted to those I treated comtemptuously. Fortunately the only pieces I need to pick up are the financial ones.
 
Subrep said:
Have managed 38 days so far. Finding it hard to focus for more than 3 or four hours on one task. My sleep pattern has changed completely which has been hard to adjust to. There some real positives ( he tries to convince himself ) like my interest in playing music and retaining what I am learning and also starting to remember much more that I had dumbed down through using. My intermittent anger episodes have all but gone. I had a short fuse and lacked perserverance and even sometimes the most basic freindship obligations. I was to all intents and purposes a major pain in the arse to those I am closest to. Glad of freinds who despite my intolerance and bad ,manners over the last 2 years have stuck by me through gigs, practices and social occasions. I feel heavily indebted to those I treated comtemptuously. Fortunately the only pieces I need to pick up are the financial ones.
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This is awesome! It really is a great thing that you're doing.

How long were you using for again? Two years?

Are you exercising and socializing? Proactive habits to reduce the edge!

Just wondering, do you think there's potential for a substitute addiction? I know that happens a lot. Something to be cautious of, I wager. I only know a little about you, but I wanted to just say.

Maybe write a list of all the positives so they can stay in-mind when cravings arise?

What sort of financial issues (if you don't mind me asking)?
 
28 months. Im not socializing at all atm in fact avoiding it as much as I can. And yes I do. Its a nasty alternative that has actually raised its head a few times and continues to. I have been pushing aside financial obligations to fund my addiction for ages. Insurance, clothing, good food, much needed time out, rent ( at times) etc. God knows how I have managed not to go bankrupt. If it were not for a couple of good friends I would be in real dire straits. I have borrowed and used credit cards, juggled money from one creditor to the next. Fucking pathetic actually and has caused me untold stress.
 
Compounding interest:
Every year I was clean seemed to double recovery. First year was rough , by the end of the second I was surprised I made it there at all. Three years clean I was overwhelmed with confidence, inner peace, joy...

It's not all puppies and sunshine.
here it is 6.5 years later. I kinda feel like I've platued or regressed a bit.. but compared to where we've been, I still am in the honeymoon phase of not waking up sick everyday.

It's no coincidence my quality of life has improved exponentially since I got off of that junk. Honestly sometimes I just get kind of bored. So yeah 6 years later I'm still working on myself.

Applaud your efforts it's really hard to willingly walk away and put yourself through all of that and to stay the course it's virtually unheard of. I honestly never take a day for granted and I know that sounds cliche but I'm still amazed to be here you know what I'm saying this is insane gives me goosebumps just thinking about it
 
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