Hi everyone , this is a bit of an old thread but I would really appreciate any advice anyone could give me , I am in a similar case to Narshe , after business school I wanted to see a psychologist because I d gone to a lot of hookers and the like , and dont speak with my parents much , I ended up seeing this free psychiatrist who told me that if I had problems with my family at home then the government could give me money so I could get my own place . I didnt take their money , which was money for a handicapped person and having no handicap I pursued work , but after a while of working jobs that didnt relate to my degree I decided to take the money theyd give me , which was basically equivalent to a salary and pursue my own interests , which were playing poker , billiards basketball , bodybuilding which I had been doing for 9 years , chess , skateboarding , music and many more , I set out a timetable for myself and did as much of the things I liked as I could . After about of year and a half of this I commited a misdemeanor , indecent exposure in front of a minor , and since I was on handicapped benefits the court decided that instead of sending me to prison theyd send me to the psychiatric ward. I was a highly energetic enthusiastic , happy and productive individual at this time if only slightly lonely . At the hospital they started giving me risperdal without even observing me , I acted and spoke coherently and was in no way had any psychiatric problem , maybe only a psychological one due to loneliness , I had many friends but no girlfriend and at the age of 27 have never had a proper girlfriend , only short term relationships . This was very important to me , so anyway they started giving me risperdal and treating me like I was a completely mad person , as if I would get undressed and show my genitals to everyone , I didnt take it seriously at first , then they started injecting me with risperdal 50 mg for 2 to 3 months and as I complained constantly of the side effects and anhedonia , obliteration of sex drive , depression etc ... they switched me on to Xeplion , or Invega Sustenna at 100 mg a month , they kept me for 7 months locked up in the hospital even though I behaved perfectly and spoke to them intelligently , the thing is they were collaborating with that very first psychiatrist who d said he could give me government money and he was now telling them I had schizophrenia , if you knew me youd know this is total Bull crap . So they kept me for 7 months in the end forcing me under duress to say that I was crazy otherwise they wouldnt let me out , it was awful . Then I got out of the hospital and came to another country to get away from all that and have been of the injections for 7 months now although I still have depression , anhedonia , no sex drive , have gained about 30 kilos , had metabolic problems where my legs and feet swoll up like watermelons and have thyroid and heart problems whereas I had none of this before and was a prime example of health , I know this because Id had many medical examinations for sports and had even given sperm donation where they had me take a series of tests . It has now been seven months and I am pursuing a career in business which is demanding , so I have started and internship in a good company and am fighting depression to go there evryday and learn as much as possible and build a career although its hard , I dream every night of getting back at these doctors who were telling me that I was supposed to go and paint flowers with mentally disabled people once I got out of the hospital , a female doctor there even told me that because of the indecent exposure I should be chemically castrated , forgo the death penalty and the like and that as a woman she would cross to the other side of the road if she saw me , very therapeutic , they were horrible to me in there and all the other patients I was with agreed that certain people in the staff were horrible although some were nice . Anyway its been 7 months now , I took the injections of Invega at 100 mg for 8 months total so Im wondering if Im permanently damaged or if I have to wait it out , I had a lot of good emotions before the injections , will they come back ? I am guessing Ill have to wait 1 year and a half more , I will be glad to update you on my progress and would give anything to hear from someone who has recovered their emotions, energy , will to live and libido , I am sorry this message is so long but I had to get it all out , please Narshe or anyone who has been off Invega for a long time , please come forward and tell me it will be ok , I have been considering ending it all its that painful
Thank you