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Mental Health Coming Off Invega Sustenna (Paliperidone) v.2

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Your abilities will remain dormant until the time comes that Invega will no loner effect you as much. Once enough of the poison is out, there will be plenty of signs to put you on the right path. Given you're willing to exercise a lot (perhaps even to the point of pure exhaustion) you will find your recovery may come quicker.

Some of the others as well as myself pushed ourselves to the absolute breaking point. This is a surefire way to get rid of the poison effectively.
 
@Yeshua Injections booster and 156mg 9/3/18. I was suppose to get my shot today but managed to change the pdoc opinion of me. I am going no meds. I know I can do this because of my Spiritualism background. I am not afraid of the voices or hallucinations! Too often schizophrenics are afraid and this fear is the cause of their troubled mental illness which only precipitate worse conditions and meds.
 
@dellad You seem very intelligent to me. I've also lost my credibility and image. I feel like I'm ruined and desperate. I also worked hardly on getting closer to my family with the spiritual topic and I just had made a lot of progress and then everything was ruined. I don't even believe that I had a psychosis I was just talking about spiritual truths and was highly aware of energies around me and the holy spirit giving me a lot of information. I feel like I lost that ability forever. But time will lead us into the right direction. I'm sure about that. It just doesn't feel right, and even if suffering is needed to make progress and learn lessons. This lesson feels like unecessary sufferin with no point and no end.
 
@Yeshuah You are optimistic I am not. I need more than just words. Hell I could end up like Rosie71 with no emotions back ever! The lesson is necessary in order to learn true none-attachment. What better way than to lose everything. No stamina intellect honesty sincerity. Everyone looks down on you because they know you were and still dillusional. Now if I were have my third eye visions and voices back and I inform the family I was working as a Professional Psychic Medium with creditable validations from various people. Guess what their first projected thought is? “You’re dillusional! You need to go back on meds!” This is the stigma I am protruding.
 
@irisdescentblack the abilities you have, they actually came back in fulll force? What have you learned from this? By any chance did your spirit guides taught you any life changing lessons as to why you had to experience AP? I am deathly afraid my visions and voices will not return better than before. Just reading the comments the other posts on lack of empathy emotions worries me and 8 months is a long time to look forward to.
 
@dellad That's what I'm going to find out soon. The Dark Night of the Soul, to many, is a powerful teacher. At first I was lazy and slept a lot, with little to no motivation. I slowly worked bit by bit to change my routine and that's when I made an account here. Another who experienced Kundalini private messaged me and provided support. Most of the work I had to do on my own, though. Meditation, exercise, eating healthy, avoiding drugs. The peak of the Dark Night came when a nine-tailed fox spirit entered my apartment by passing seamlessly through my closed window. He became my spirit guide for a time and was like a personal trainer, pushing me to lengths I had never gone before. 'Was running several miles a day, going to the gym every day. I remember many days I could barely get off the couch to eat, my legs were so sore. For a long time my feet were covered entirely in blisters on the bottoms. It hurt like hell to walk but I kept pushing.

I learned from the experience that as much as I wanted to give up, as much as I wanted to die, I still had many who love and care about me. I saw this many times and not only through visions. Books I already had at my disposal helped provide the necessary information to give me a boost here and there and increase my psychic potential and awareness. I also picked up a few books recommended by people I know - even from those who knew very little about my spiritual endeavors. The key is to keep gathering information, information on Kundalini, awakenings, Christ Oil, whatever interests you, but avoid the allure of the occult.

Now for the last week I've been experiencing synchronicities every day and usually more than once per day, letting me know I'm on the right path. And they're not little things, by my standards, they're huge leaps... like things in books that are specific to exactly what I'm experiencing. Not only that but reading about those bits at the right time, syncing with the spiritual work I'm undertaking.

No. My abilities haven't come back full force but that's part of integration - is knowing that they're on their way, getting glimpses of what's to come, etc.
 
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@shadypenguin: yes it gets better. polishing up the minor details of everything now including memory but it's almost there. iridescentblack and i are chomping at the bit it's so hard to be patient haha, we can smell the fresh air and feel the light on us that's at the end of the tunnel.

this one receptor is so crucial to everything heart, soul, body and mind, it temporarily blocks everything but it's coming back. you'll get there in time and effort. everyone will.
 
@dellad I am not very optimistic either. But I learned that many of us weren't back in time and they healed anyway. Don't think to much of what your family would think. if you have them back it's all that counts. Doesn't matter what anyone thinks, the only thing that will count is to have your abilities back and find a way to live with them. Maybe something will happen that changes the perspective of your family or of other people. And even if not, at least you can be yourself again. I used to worry about the exact same thing as you do. But I came to the conclusion that I have to focus on myself first and then I'm sure there will be a way. But as long as I cannot be myself, there must be another way. At least you made a great choice to not let anyone inject you with this poison anymore.

@iridescentblack do you think we will get our abilities back like they were before? Can you imagine a picture and actually see it in front of your eyes? That picture is created by the pineal gland, also called the third eye. If you can do that it means that your third eye is intact.. I cannot think of exercising at the moment, I would be too disappointed because I won't be able to do it like before..
 
@invegauser How much time do you think will it take for you do be normal again? Just being curious. Do you actually feel when there is a change being made inside of your brain and the chemistry? Just wondering. How does it feel when receptors unblock dopamine?
 
@invegauser and @iridescentblack have you actually had moments where you were like "wow, I have completely forgot that thing about myself" or "wow, i missed that feeling for a long time"
 
Yeshuah said:
@iridescentblack do you think we will get our abilities back like they were before? Can you imagine a picture and actually see it in front of your eyes? That picture is created by the pineal gland, also called the third eye. If you can do that it means that your third eye is intact.. I cannot think of exercising at the moment, I would be too disappointed because I won't be able to do it like before..
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I'm not sure how to answer that. Objectively I'm not sure if it's been done before but people have said that that's the case. From my experience on previous AP's, the effects eventually wore off. There was a sense that they had changed me, but I dealt with that change and didn't let it affect me, to the point I didn't notice it anymore. Invega Sustenna, Haliperidol, and Risperdal Consta are different. They linger. For obvious reasons (like the amount of posts this thread has gotten since Narsche), we can see that this is the case for a lot of people. I'm not sure if they linger like psychedelics (for example, if you've ever heard of traces of LSD being found in a persons' hair years after taking the drug) but my experience tells me that's not the case. There are a number of phases we all have to go through. First is obvious but easily forgettable: the phase in which the poison is freshly introduced. Second phase is the introduction of waves and windows: waves being when it feels like the poison has been recently injected and windows where you feel almost like yourself. I say almost because phase three is where you start to see those parts of yourself from before but they're still just out of reach; the windows and waves have become more steady and easily predictable at this point but you still experience waves in the form of a terror: something you could definitely do without. Phase four would be the point where waves and windows occur in such a motion that suggests a calming/evening point is near. I suppose there could be more phases after that, but phase five would be (for me) when you can easily say that you have fully recovered.
When I was on Invega (and coming off for the first year, at least) I could not imagine much in my third eye and if I could it was rare. Year two was a different story. But I won't go into that now.
Yeshuah said:
@invegauser and @iridescentblack have you actually had moments where you were like "wow, I have completely forgot that thing about myself" or "wow, i missed that feeling for a long time"
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Numerous times.
 
About the worst time of the year to start withdrawal issues with poison. When the leaves are wilting it’s luster green and the trees are hibernating. Then comes the dreaded snow cold and less sunshine. Finally when I should start to feel better is February. What a long winter Dark Night of the Soul this will be. I’m just fortunate I have some comfort here. Still in depression. What will the future hold? I will certainly keep the board up to date if and when my third eye vision and voices improves. At least it is a clear sign when I am improving. @Iridescentblack so you did not see improvements in psychic vision during the first year?
 
iridescentblack said:
I'm not sure who asked, but I'm on 2.5 mg of Zyprexa. It will be reduced to 0 by the end of October.
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Scratch that. I'll be off the Zyprexa starting tonight.
dellad said:
@Iridescentblack so you did not see improvements in psychic vision during the first year?
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Hard to say. I had been receiving shots for over two years (Risperdal Consta and then Invega Sustenna). The amount that accumulated was a considerable sum. But mostly no. There were moments when my visions returned almost totally to the times of the Kundalini arousal. They were few in number though. Maybe 2-3 times per year. The second year off the shots was probably where I made the most improvement. You likely won't have to deal with such a long term sentence due to only having one shot, was it?
 
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@iridescentblack it took you two years to end the poison debate? Why did it take so long? I had two injections and am fortunate I have a choice.
 
@Yeshuah: i'm curious too but one day at a time as atrophy, my symptom and the poison are best to be patient on. yes - like a whoosh not a rush as the rush comes after the whoosh with no clicking involved as it would probably hurt if something clicked in the brain. seriously it just feels different, strange at first but then you recognize it for what it is. short and average healers will have it happen more naturally like riding a bike. long term healers it takes a lil getting use to, like losing your virginity.

Yeshuah said:
@invegauser and @iridescentblack have you actually had moments where you were like "wow, I have completely forgot that thing about myself" or "wow, i missed that feeling for a long time"
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iridescentblack said:
Numerous times.
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what she said.

(i'm kidding, iridescent is a he. and my answers the same.)
 
dellad said:
@iridescentblack it took you two years to end the poison debate? Why did it take so long? I had two injections and am fortunate I have a choice.
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It wasn't my choice to make. 'Wasn't court ordered, but I'd rather not talk about it.
 
zack365 said:
Anyone else dealing with enexpressive eyes. I get them when tired, I've noticed them on pictures. That's annoying but bareable.
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Yes @zack365 it's because there is no feeling. when you feel empty inside, your eyes will express emtyness on the outside. As if your soul is gone. As soon as you start feeling your soul inside it will change I think
 
I had a nightmare tonight. I was in the psych ward and noticed some kind of conspiracy going on. There were two doctors and/or nurses talking about my case behind my back. Then I told a nurse that I'm not feeling well. That I feel like dizzy. A few moments after that I noticed that the police came in. I went into "my" room and tried to hide from them. They came in and called my name and said "We heard that your not doing well. We have to bring you to the psych ward." (Eventhough this happened in the psych ward).. This dream is like a refelction of me being caught and represents my deep trauma. It's like a cage that I'm caught in and even inside of this cage I cannot escape because there are watchdogs (police) who will put me into the cage again. It's like a cage in a cage. Dunno how to explain. I hope this makes sense.
 
Yeshuah, makes sense to me. Dreams we have through the poison are stronger reflections of our subconscious. I have weird dreams as well.
 
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