tazz20
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 5, 2020
- Messages
- 167
So I went off of of antidepressants for my anxiety(celexa specifically) last September. thats also around when my ecstasy/molly use began since I could never do it on my medication. I've been rolling for maybe almost once a month since then. not every single month but deff more than harm reduction guides suggest. I know the stuff I have been taking is not always fully pure and I'm sure I've had a few cuts of amphetamine(or more scary to think about) even meth. At least where I'm from this is known to be a common thing. I've been prescribed adderall before so I was like oh what the fuck, what's the difference.
Now I know antidepressant withdrawal itself is a real thing. I remember having really bad brain fog which has subsided but my anxiety is still bad and I have been getting depressed a bit more again. I'd become extremely irritated at a lot of things. Work was absolutely unbearable. I'd have moments where I would blank out and completely forget things which I'm told is a sign of depression. The blankouts have not been happening lately though which is good.
I took a sober month and march, consumed no weed or mdma or alchohol, deff felt a bit better, I think.
Back in April I popped what I assume to be pretty pure mdma. thankfully felt ok afterwards. Then Again this month I took one of my pressed pills(which I think tested to be cut with amphetamine but also mdma and I took that. Even after a few weeks I feel kinda shitty.
It just makes me wonder what if this whole time my body was reacting badly to constant mdma(and not always completely pure) usage? makes me wonder. It worries me that what I'm going through is a withdrawal to meth or speed, but to my understanding it is a very small amount put in. Wondering what everyones thoughts are. Does anyone here roll like once a month and feel this way? I know we're all different.
I met with some psychiatrists but still don't have the answer. I just know 100% my mdma usage can not be helping. This isnt the first time I've taken pressed mdma pills from that batch. There was a period where I had no natural happy emotions. I can't decide if that was from going of ssri antidepressants, which are serotonin related, my e usage, or both.
Now I know antidepressant withdrawal itself is a real thing. I remember having really bad brain fog which has subsided but my anxiety is still bad and I have been getting depressed a bit more again. I'd become extremely irritated at a lot of things. Work was absolutely unbearable. I'd have moments where I would blank out and completely forget things which I'm told is a sign of depression. The blankouts have not been happening lately though which is good.
I took a sober month and march, consumed no weed or mdma or alchohol, deff felt a bit better, I think.
Back in April I popped what I assume to be pretty pure mdma. thankfully felt ok afterwards. Then Again this month I took one of my pressed pills(which I think tested to be cut with amphetamine but also mdma and I took that. Even after a few weeks I feel kinda shitty.
It just makes me wonder what if this whole time my body was reacting badly to constant mdma(and not always completely pure) usage? makes me wonder. It worries me that what I'm going through is a withdrawal to meth or speed, but to my understanding it is a very small amount put in. Wondering what everyones thoughts are. Does anyone here roll like once a month and feel this way? I know we're all different.
I met with some psychiatrists but still don't have the answer. I just know 100% my mdma usage can not be helping. This isnt the first time I've taken pressed mdma pills from that batch. There was a period where I had no natural happy emotions. I can't decide if that was from going of ssri antidepressants, which are serotonin related, my e usage, or both.