Insomnia and lack of coordination could all be symptoms of benzo withdrawal, so be careful. I'll be sure to look for your journal.
Benzo withdrawal can be pretty wild. I hallucinated that my phone was going off constantly, that I heard someone around the corners in my house, that someone was outside, that my neighbor was playing music non stop and was plotting to rob me, that people were living in my garage, that a gang was extorting me, that I was being filmed, that someone was narrating my life, that I had microphones in my hair.... the list goes on, all a result of 2 psychotic episodes induced by withdrawals. The crazy thing is that they seem so real when it's happening. It's not until after I had stabilized and was able to cross-reference stories with other people who saw what was happening that I was able to discern between what was real and what was imagined.
It's really important to have people around you that you can trust when you are going through this. Also, if your psychiatrist prescribed drugs for you to cope with the WDs, it may be advisable to do as told. Doctors aren't perfect and make mistakes too, but hopefully they are good at what they specialize in. Of course, if you weren't being completely honest with the Dr and/or have a history of not telling the truth, they really can't do their job correctly as they would be going off of false information.
Best of luck, stay strong. I'll keep an eye for your journal. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions that I haven't answered.
Thanks man! The bolded actually happened. Big extended Indian family ish hitting the fan with 2 cousins going rogue with my dad's firms data. Before I moved out of the house, One of my dad's other brother's kids was a complete sadist and psychopath. He still is.....used to beat up any servant now he beats his wife, his father has the door locked to their part of the house and he bloody did spy on me!!! He tried to get my Bitcoins....really.....like my FB was hacked and a ton of shit happened at dad's work but I did tell my dad "none of those things influenced my behaviour in regards to Xanax. I was already on the highest dose that I am on now and in fact using this lead me to be given PTSD meds so "let's keep it simple. I don't want to bias the doctor. I want to tell him facts about my abuse, the symptoms I had when I attempted going 4-5 days without anything and then let him ask the questions." Obv. my dad prime's the Doctor's mind with the work shenanigans......which ended up being OK for two reasons - 1. This was the first doctor we went to. The Head Specialist at the Hospital and you could see by the end before he referred me to his best psychiatrist he was going to put me down on some pills. Then he realised I basically just took them 'to try' and it rearranged my headtop from then on. 2. The work stuff was actually a period where I was most busy because I would finish poker, go to my dad's office and install MS365, New Computers, Data Security, raised a UDRP complaint with ICAAN regarding his domain...
and my dose never changed. I will admit that I was left with far more longer periods of being in an unhappy 'i can't control my environment or the subjectivity surrounding me' which might have lead to dosing moar on a particular day etc etc.
Anyways, the TR!
1. Go to the Head of the Hospital and when he realises he is dealing with a bare Benzo Withdrawal Syndrome he refers me to the psychiatrist. My dad's worry about me did get him to write that entire male panel lab for me. Will go in tomorrow to do that.
2. This time we move unbiased and I tell the new Doctor what I did. He asks me a few questions about smoking, drinking. I answer honestly and one thing I will say is that he kept ignoring the 5mg Kpins. One time he got interrupted by my dad, one time idk he thought I was taking tramadol on the reg when I just said, I'd use it occasionally and idiotically since it decreases seizure threshold and I was taking them trying to WD from Benzo, then I found out gabapentin is a better alternative.....
3. Still don't get why he ignored the K-Pins and concentrated on the trams but did say "patients who come in taking multiple drugs with 13mg of Benzodiazepams (means he heard me say 5mg of K-pins) are admitted but you don't seem to be showing too much WD symptoms, came on your own accord, told your parents, your dad came with you and you live nearby, so I won't admit you.
4. He asked reasons for doing them - I told him - I just started for no reason and then loved em. Then he asked me to leave for 2 mins, spoke to my dad, I came back in again, then he wrote this script and serious when he was writing it, in my mind I was like please add K-Pin dosage as well but he wrote this:
4. There is also
Valproate (Seprodex 500mg morn/eve) and a mloltivitamin...
5. When I said I thought the taper should be slower and K-pins included. He said...'You try this. I am here everyday till 5pm and after 5 days you have to return and I will tailor the script according to how the week went. Do not worry, I am not taking you off the taper after 5 days of valium and if you require Clonazepam or maybe some other medication, I will add that. Also, If in the next two days the 5mg - 5mg - 10mg (mor-aft-night) is too little, I can have upto 4 at night then he did his math wrong and put 7 tabs a day max. Or maybe he meant I can have an extra one here or there but if I do that, obv I have to go meet him like in 2 days or the medication will run out before 5 days. So, at least he is flexi like that.
6. Finally, asked my dad what he asked him - my dad was up front because the Questions were irrelevant in my case - Suicidal - NO. Does he have friends - Loads. Does he seem sad - He is only sad that he can't work out to the max right now and link up with chicks. My dad add the famo tension stuff though. Oh well....
So about to take my first 5mg right now. It's not going to do shit is it? Well, the part about 'admitting into a ward' and 'he cannot be refused this stuff if he needs more right now..' was good and let's see....
I am pretty sure I will need more tonight esp because I will not be billing a zoot cuz of the chest x-ray tomorrow. lol
Again thanks for all who posted. Mafioso, Is there any way the thread can be moved to Sober living? Re-titled to
More than one year of 13mg Benzos/Now under supervised Taper to reclaim Tiger mode.
