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Poetry clickbait

Snafu in the Void

Bukowski Jr.
Joined
May 27, 2020
Messages
32,869
all this drunken garbage that I like to write
that maybe a few of you people seem to like
is about the abhorrent man screaming
and how chemicals infected my life
you see this rope around my neck?
all of these scars are self inflicted
the sad drunk man at your favorite bar
always getting caught with my hand in the cookie jar
running around leaving myself bread crumbs
wondering what drugs I'm going to die from
nobody is winning if you never keep score
somebody once told me shit would get easier
all I had to do was to try harder, what a liar
fuck you drugs, for defining my existence
but fuck me if I won't put up some resistance
momma always said it takes some persistence
borderline psychotic with illiterate indifference
growing up with a non-existant alcoholic dad
learning to be a man by making everyone mad
never found happiness with anything I had
I'm in space and not sure what galaxy I'm lost in
I just honed in on my main fucking problem
sometimes I punch myself in the balls
with a long list of missed wake up calls
A fucked head of memories is what I clutch
I write this crap but it doesn't help much.
 
Actually, it does help! Never stop writing. I'm walking proof of being a fighter and also having to admit that 'I need help' I've been backstabbed by so many and yet it's been my faith and family that's kept me afloat. I realize you might not have what I do in the way of support, and our opinions might be on opposite sides of the galaxy, but know this. If I were to see you face to face (I cannot lie because, autism) I would southern american hug the everloving crap out of you. I'm reminded of Paul when he wrote to the church in Corinth, so much is relatable in the Bible for encouragement and hope. This was the passage that I clung to when I was going through the worst years of my self-mutilation. I trust you gain some hope and encouragement from it. 💙🥺

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that His Life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. 2 Corinthians 4:8-12
 
Actually, it does help you. Never and I mean never stop writing. I'm walking proof of being a fighter and also having to admit that 'I need help' I've been backstabbed by so many and yet it's been my faith and family that's kept me afloat. I realize you might not have what I do in the way of support, and our opinions might be on opposite sides of the galaxy, but know this. If I were to see you face to face (I cannot lie because autism) I would southern american hug the everloving crap out of you. I'm reminded of Paul when he wrote to the church in Corinth, so much is relatable in the Bible for encouragement and hope. This was the passage that I clung to when I was going through the worst years of my self-mutilation. I trust you gain some hope and encouragement from it. 💙🥺
Thanks friend. Sometimes I drink and it's like jekyll and hyde I turn into Bukowski and just write.

Sometimes I feel like my writing is too negative. It's almost just another way for me to talk trash about myself. Or not? Healthy outlet? The truth eludes me.
 
You are most welcome! And it's not trash. Dieing to what I want, meaning putting to death the "But I wanna xyz to escape this crap" Is essentially what Paul is saying here, I echo what Paul said, take heart, dig deep, find some safe people if you can, keep getting back up, because at the end of the day you are the man in the mirror and taking care of yourself is actually a righteous act the inverse of love your neighbor as yourself. My PM box is always open! 😉
 
Negative or not, you could choose to perceive it as a purging of discordant or dissatisfactory thoughts and feelings. It's more beneficial than one might think.

I always liked the idea of writing down negative thoughts, including fears, anxieties, personal hardships, relationships, and burning them as a sort of symbolic release.
 
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