dognasher
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2013
- Messages
- 214
Hi eveybody! A couple of you have pm'd me asking if I was okay - I've been MIA for a while. It makes me so happy to know that people care. You all are amazing! I am doing good - I am still sober! Four months no drugs!!!! Nothing! And I feel better ALL THE TIME. I've taken on a couple part time jobs as well as managing my store, so I have been busy busy busy. Also working on getting my writing published in a few beauty magazings (I write about makeup as a hobby) and I'm getting married in March. I got my wedding dress and everything. I don't think about heroin and cocaine anymore. Really ever. My cravings, which I thought were going to kill me, have mostly gone away. I still suffer from intense shame and regret and am busting my ass trying to repair my life, but honestly, the worst has already happened and I made it through. My fiance and I are doing really well, I am hanging out with friends again, and my depression is being managed with meds. I've honestly never felt better. This summer I really thought I was going to kill myself. From drugs or suicide.
But I didn't. I'm glad I stuck it out. I'm glad I gave it all one last shot. I'll never use again. I'll also never be able to change what happened in the past, and that gets to me sometimes. But I think it made me a stronger person. I learned a lot about who I am, and what I want. I can move forward knowing that I can tackle anything, because I made it through this.
So anyway, I wanted to let people know that I'm not dead, not back on the needle, and that I miss ya'll....and if anybody new is reading this, and is struggling - you can get through it. I really came within a hair's breadth of losing my child, my partner, my home and my career. But I didn't. I made it, and I'm better now that I have been for the last five years. You can do it, too.
But I didn't. I'm glad I stuck it out. I'm glad I gave it all one last shot. I'll never use again. I'll also never be able to change what happened in the past, and that gets to me sometimes. But I think it made me a stronger person. I learned a lot about who I am, and what I want. I can move forward knowing that I can tackle anything, because I made it through this.
So anyway, I wanted to let people know that I'm not dead, not back on the needle, and that I miss ya'll....and if anybody new is reading this, and is struggling - you can get through it. I really came within a hair's breadth of losing my child, my partner, my home and my career. But I didn't. I made it, and I'm better now that I have been for the last five years. You can do it, too.