Cant stop ghb until its gone

[sistersquirrel]

I relapsed hard today on GHB and had to go to the emergency room with mom and my Grandma, I was babbling and twitching, they thought I was having a seizure. My drug scan came clean at the hospital, and I did not admit to doing G, they are freaking out and worried now about me. I can't believe I took too much around them. I have no filter for when I should stop dosing until its gone. Oh its the last time.. It has to stop. I finally realized I have no power over it. A few months ago i was life flighted to hospital after passing out a community feed, that was totally awful. I just like the feeling so much I constantly want to have that feeling and i do it till its gone. I think g and I gotta break up.

 

[Mafioso]

I had a grand mal seizure because from abrupt Xanax withdrawal. Didn't tell my parents or hospital staff either, managed to keep it quiet even when I was barely conscious and have no memory of. I finally ended up telling my mom what had really happened after I got out of rehab recently. I could tell it bothered her, but I think overall it relieved some stress and worry. At least she knows what caused the problem, I think for a long time she was worrying about my physical health and thought I might have a serious health problem.

I had a similar problem with benzos and opiates. I would tell myself I'm only gong to take "x" amount, but as soon as I got high it was like I was a different person and all limits went out the window.

For me I think it has to do with crossing personal boundaries. I knew it wasn't smart to get fucked up, but I wanted the feeling. As soon as I gave into the urge and didn't get a strong enough high/feeling, the original limit no longer made sense. It was like "well I'm already doing something bad, might as well feel good about it" type of thinking.

 

[Vazkor]

Same here...

1) order half a liter, because I think I can use it daily & keep functioning
2) I use more (often) than intended
3) I fall asleep... during sex, at work...
4) I start to get physically addicted
5) I start to realize I cannot keep functioning using this
6) I throw the stuff in the toilet.
7) I have some nasty days wd-ing.
8) I’m back to normal
9) I forget I cannot control it.
10) goto 1.

I did this 6-7 times before I realized, I just shouldn’t order that half a liter.

Vazkor