Thelonleyone
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2015
- Messages
- 1
I was pretty much smoking 10 years heavily to wich alot of that was alone and the last maybe 2 - 3 years have been stoned every waking minute ....
MY STORY----
first off , i feel ive had a very unfair social life starting from about 18 yrs old, i had fallen out with my school friends because some were sleeping with my girlfriend, they were a big group , they all knew, but no one told me, so i left them all behind and became abit of a recluse from then on, then i started smoking the weed heavily..........
i still tried to go out and have fun ALONE on the weekends on the town, ive always known alot of people so i would come accross somone to hang with, but never had immediate friends to ring..
while in town wich was the place i would sometimes come accross my old group of friends i would kinda be demonised and rumors based on lies started going around about me from my ex and ex best friend who is now having kids with my ex and generally the whole crew actually, people i didnt know, (who they did) would come up to me and ask if my name was so n so and when i replied yeh they would just call me something that they had heard and this still goes on today, but ive learnt to egnore it over alot of years
2 years passed and i had latched onto a new group of friends ((but still smoking))
in this new group of friends there were definatly some positive experiences but ultimatly i felt this group had the final blow in crushing my soul, i soon came to notice that this group was awfuly back stabbish, most of them talking rubbish behind ppls backs most of the time and eventually this turned onto me.
this made me incredibly lacking in self a steem (and im sure here is where weed didnt help)
as a result i sometimes felt taken the piss out of in open air as if this whole group looked at me in some sort of pathetic way, like i was a joke to them, i wasnt always able to understand there converstaion and thought that this was there way of taking the piss out of me infront of my face.
there would be laughing but i didnt get it ?!! they all did !!!???
So i became introverted again slowly over time found a girlfriend to wich i admit i could not trust on an instinctual level, i had so many encounters with her that she was doing wrong by me, but never enough conclusive information to catch her out, so in the end i decided to leave her on the account that she just was not making me feel good
The last 2 years ive been extremly introverted, and smoking every waking minute just staying in my own bubble, i suppose for fear of coming accross all these terrible people i have met in the last 10 years, my whole adult life !
Ive quit now almost 4 weeks, and im not the same person i was when i was 18 , im 28 now and through my experiences or weed possibly ? i am now very much a socially conscious person, i hate the world for what it is through my extensive research on the internet over years, and because of this i feel out of place to most people today, im missunderstood alot. but is this really the weed ? or is it my life experiences or both or maybe even more factors ?
This is my personality today -
I hate government
im sketptical of local doctors and how they earn commision through selling certain drugs
i talk alot of intricate politics - i.e How Drug Prohibition DOES NOT work !
I genuinly believe USA blew up there own city new york in 2001 to justify a war and a terrorism act
Banks Enslave the people via debt
Police have way too much power
We dont live in a true democracy
Tv hijacks peoples perception of things
Hate the rich and the coorp World (Capatilism)
The world is way to unequal
The new World Order and USAs plan for world domination
Societys Social Engineering
The list goes on and i think ppl refer to this as having your eyes open so to speak, but i dont half feel missunderstood because i understand all of this stuff which most of the world is ignorant too and it tends to be part of my converstaion to people i know, but im passed off , egnored, told to shut up ,im boring or just simply looked at with crazy eyes !!! ........
So ...Whats Changed me ? cannabis abuse ? My Life Experience ? or any other factors ? and am i ok to be like this ? am i crazy or is everyone i know apathetic ?
MY STORY----
first off , i feel ive had a very unfair social life starting from about 18 yrs old, i had fallen out with my school friends because some were sleeping with my girlfriend, they were a big group , they all knew, but no one told me, so i left them all behind and became abit of a recluse from then on, then i started smoking the weed heavily..........
i still tried to go out and have fun ALONE on the weekends on the town, ive always known alot of people so i would come accross somone to hang with, but never had immediate friends to ring..
while in town wich was the place i would sometimes come accross my old group of friends i would kinda be demonised and rumors based on lies started going around about me from my ex and ex best friend who is now having kids with my ex and generally the whole crew actually, people i didnt know, (who they did) would come up to me and ask if my name was so n so and when i replied yeh they would just call me something that they had heard and this still goes on today, but ive learnt to egnore it over alot of years
2 years passed and i had latched onto a new group of friends ((but still smoking))
in this new group of friends there were definatly some positive experiences but ultimatly i felt this group had the final blow in crushing my soul, i soon came to notice that this group was awfuly back stabbish, most of them talking rubbish behind ppls backs most of the time and eventually this turned onto me.
this made me incredibly lacking in self a steem (and im sure here is where weed didnt help)
as a result i sometimes felt taken the piss out of in open air as if this whole group looked at me in some sort of pathetic way, like i was a joke to them, i wasnt always able to understand there converstaion and thought that this was there way of taking the piss out of me infront of my face.
there would be laughing but i didnt get it ?!! they all did !!!???
So i became introverted again slowly over time found a girlfriend to wich i admit i could not trust on an instinctual level, i had so many encounters with her that she was doing wrong by me, but never enough conclusive information to catch her out, so in the end i decided to leave her on the account that she just was not making me feel good
The last 2 years ive been extremly introverted, and smoking every waking minute just staying in my own bubble, i suppose for fear of coming accross all these terrible people i have met in the last 10 years, my whole adult life !
Ive quit now almost 4 weeks, and im not the same person i was when i was 18 , im 28 now and through my experiences or weed possibly ? i am now very much a socially conscious person, i hate the world for what it is through my extensive research on the internet over years, and because of this i feel out of place to most people today, im missunderstood alot. but is this really the weed ? or is it my life experiences or both or maybe even more factors ?
This is my personality today -
I hate government
im sketptical of local doctors and how they earn commision through selling certain drugs
i talk alot of intricate politics - i.e How Drug Prohibition DOES NOT work !
I genuinly believe USA blew up there own city new york in 2001 to justify a war and a terrorism act
Banks Enslave the people via debt
Police have way too much power
We dont live in a true democracy
Tv hijacks peoples perception of things
Hate the rich and the coorp World (Capatilism)
The world is way to unequal
The new World Order and USAs plan for world domination
Societys Social Engineering
The list goes on and i think ppl refer to this as having your eyes open so to speak, but i dont half feel missunderstood because i understand all of this stuff which most of the world is ignorant too and it tends to be part of my converstaion to people i know, but im passed off , egnored, told to shut up ,im boring or just simply looked at with crazy eyes !!! ........
So ...Whats Changed me ? cannabis abuse ? My Life Experience ? or any other factors ? and am i ok to be like this ? am i crazy or is everyone i know apathetic ?