ShroomySatori
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2015
- Messages
- 2,935
It is tough to be lonely anymore once you realize that you are always with yourself. Not to mention all the spirits and how I feel like I am always being watched over by a higher power. I have contacted a female entity directly several times this year, and I don't know what to think of it yet. Except that she is always present, knows everything about me, and doesn't like to reveal herself very often or for very long and will turn around and vanish the moment she realizes my half baked eyes are seeing her standing over my bed. She likes to lay on her stomach on my bed and smirk at me before vanishing once I realize she is there. On DMT, she cuddled up to me and I felt her touch but most of all her malicious little smirk. She is totally fucking with me. Bratty little spirit, she be. Gothic, tall, and rather sexy too. I don't even know if I should write this, out of respect for her, but that is the way my creative manifestation of energy is presenting itself in the present moment.
A cutie lady in the physical realm will come around again, I am sure, and this time I will be clean of opiates and not a soul stealing, manipulative, sociopathic vampire. There was so much love that I barely was bothered by hardcore smack withdrawals at the time, since I had been swept off my feet and soaring through a blissful blue sky of love and light. We lost ourselves in each other, my sweet, sexy, creative and amazingly artistic Annabel, and she was the greatest romance of my life. Really felt like a true soul mate. I thought I could get away with using oxy's and being with her, both, and I was very much wrong about that. Opiates certainly have a proclivity for destroying the best of relationships. I know another cutie will come along sometime though, I don't even need to bother looking or trying. It is best to work on myself, and my various talents and creative outlets. And I believe that once such a powerful connection of true love is established, even if it fades away or is destroyed by negative tendencies such as selfishness and greed - it still happened. And I think that is eternal, even with this seemingly ever changing and evolving experience of life. Even if the past isn't real... what is real after all, other than the present moment. I will always love her with all my heart, even though we are apart and things didn't end so well.
A cutie lady in the physical realm will come around again, I am sure, and this time I will be clean of opiates and not a soul stealing, manipulative, sociopathic vampire. There was so much love that I barely was bothered by hardcore smack withdrawals at the time, since I had been swept off my feet and soaring through a blissful blue sky of love and light. We lost ourselves in each other, my sweet, sexy, creative and amazingly artistic Annabel, and she was the greatest romance of my life. Really felt like a true soul mate. I thought I could get away with using oxy's and being with her, both, and I was very much wrong about that. Opiates certainly have a proclivity for destroying the best of relationships. I know another cutie will come along sometime though, I don't even need to bother looking or trying. It is best to work on myself, and my various talents and creative outlets. And I believe that once such a powerful connection of true love is established, even if it fades away or is destroyed by negative tendencies such as selfishness and greed - it still happened. And I think that is eternal, even with this seemingly ever changing and evolving experience of life. Even if the past isn't real... what is real after all, other than the present moment. I will always love her with all my heart, even though we are apart and things didn't end so well.
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