doctordrugdude
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2014
- Messages
- 3
About a three weeks ago I rolled for the second time, my first time being around 6 months ago. The setting was at my apartment with my three roommates, and a friend of one them, A, who I know well enough. I was the only one taking MDMA as I received the pill as bonus in an online order. The seller who sent me the pill listed them as containing 180-200 mg of MDMA each. The roll turned out to very eventful, right when I started to peak, I came out of my room and witnessed the friend of my roommates, A, pick up my dabs off the coffee table and place them in his pocket right as he was about to go home. My roommates did not notice as they were all stoned and playing a video game. I was rolling very hard and was too shocked to confront A and he left our apartment. At this point I began feeling very intense surge of emotions and after taking a few seconds to calm down I told my roommates what had happened. They were surprised but understood and we decided the best course of action was to cut off all communication with A. This is where things started to get slightly scary. My roommate who we'll call B was now the only one in the room with me. We started discussing what had happened, during which I was rolling around on the couch . He then said jokingly that he had actually stolen my dabs and my car keys and gave an evil, almost satanic smile. At the time, I took the thing about the car keys very seriously as his grin was very convincing. (After I came down I 100% realized it was a joke). I then had this thought that B did not really exist and I have been hallucinating my friend for the past two years and this hallucination has now decided to become my tormentor. Just as was about to reach out and touch him to see if he exists, my roommate C walked into the room and said something to B confirming that he was indeed real. I did enjoy my rest of my roll but felt a tiny bit uneasy from that. The next few days were very uncomfortable though as I had convinced myself I had triggered schizophrenia and any ambient noise I heard began to freak me out as I thought it was a hallucination. I also started to think there was a possibility that i just imagined A stealing my dabs and it was the start of a psychotic break. After a few days, I began to calm down and realize that I was not actually psychotic and all those events did actually take place. The thing is a three weeks later I still cannot shake the feeling, what if I am actually going crazy. I know deep down that I am just bugging out and constantly thinking about just makes it worse. I think about it at least once a day at and when I do my heart rate starts to race until I can calm myself down a few minutes later. I have repeatedly looked up information on schizophrenia and all signs just seem to point to anxiety, but thought of going crazy is actually driving me crazy 8(. Still, as much it completely freaks me out at times, outside of those times, I really don't worry about it. Any opinions on what is going on would be much appreciated as the anxiety has been worse the past couple of days.
Additional Info: I have been abusing amphetamines a decent amount the past few month, I do however always make sure to get sleep and proper nutrition during use. I also have been a daily marijuana smoker the past couple of years. Over the past six months every-time I smoke marijuana, it triggers some hppd that was caused by LSD use. I have tripped about 10-15 times in the past year. Also the week after my second roll, me and my roommates got some of the same pills and I rolled two days back to back, I know this probably wasn't my best idea but the rolls were enjoyable. The past ten days I have been mostly sober only smoking marijuana once and drinking once. Despite all of this crap in the past few weeks and the anxiety, I still am a very happy person and positive.
Additional Info: I have been abusing amphetamines a decent amount the past few month, I do however always make sure to get sleep and proper nutrition during use. I also have been a daily marijuana smoker the past couple of years. Over the past six months every-time I smoke marijuana, it triggers some hppd that was caused by LSD use. I have tripped about 10-15 times in the past year. Also the week after my second roll, me and my roommates got some of the same pills and I rolled two days back to back, I know this probably wasn't my best idea but the rolls were enjoyable. The past ten days I have been mostly sober only smoking marijuana once and drinking once. Despite all of this crap in the past few weeks and the anxiety, I still am a very happy person and positive.