I have OCPD, PTSD, BZD W/D, constipation, diarrhea, hypothyroidism, delayed sleep-phase disorder, insomnia, oral fixation and HUGE coffee addiction and coffeine dependence. To which I return to again and again and again for any imaginable reason. And when I have came back... I chug more week after week after week. And it decreases my quality of life. It causes anger, OC behavior and thoughts, anxiety, insomnia and heavy comedowns on regular basis. "Clinical major depression-simulation"-comedowns.
The experience of lacking the kick in withdrawals is just very bad for me...particularly because as OCPD'r I get anxious if I can't function (which is just perceived thing as is need to function).
I have used to withdraw by meth. It sounds stupid but it has been successful without any negatives. Regular amphetamine has risk of making me want more caffeine, even if it gives replacement kick, which is not really even the same thing after all. Caffeine is always caffeine. Meth is just perfectly self-sufficient stuff and I don't even want ANYTHING on it. Except maybe watch porn and wank. I am tho' tired of stimulant bullshit overall and I am gonna just...fucking withdraw the raw way. Some day. Again. I wish, soon.
Fucking madness drug.