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By far the most complicated woman I have ever encountered (kinda long)

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EphemeralOutlet141

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Dec 11, 2014
Messages
69
Okay, I very rarely look to other people for woman advice but I'm utterly confused. So I have this ex girlfriend (the complicated woman in question) who is just impossible to deal with. I dated her roughly 3 years ago and we've been unofficially off and on since then. She's dated this guy for two years who is essentially a male version of her. They break up every few months and she comes back to me playing this "I've always liked you more" game. Obviously this was not actually the case, they would get back together about a week later.

This happened about 3 times, after the second time I wizened up and knew what I was in for, but hey, she put out and I was single.

So this most recent time she said they were done for good. I was obviously extremely skeptical but I witnessed a phone call between the two in which she proceeded to curse him out and threaten him saying he better not make contact with her again or else. I've never heard her say a single bad thing to him in two years. I was like "okay, that was pretty convincing but it's still her". We've been hanging out for around two weeks and she's been really flirty.

BUT, a few days ago I got a text from one of her older friends saying he knows she hungout with him again and showed me a screenshot from the ex confirming it. Like I said I knew what I was in for and wasn't upset. I told her about it and it became a shit storm. She said the only reason she went over there is because he threatened to put nudes of her on the internet and vehemently attacked her friend's credibility saying he's a compulsive liar and is completely in love with her. Her friends say the same. She's been texting and calling me the last 3 days trying to convince me to talk to her.

Question for you helpful people at BlueLight: do I commit to my fuck off attitude towards her or try to hear what she has to say? Whenever I do she just tries to make me feel guilty and doesn't actually solve any of the problems on the table. At this point it's just annoying. But then again, she's never tried this hard and still hasn't gotten back with him in over 3 weeks. She would be the perfect girlfriend but trouble always seems to find her. Do I continue ignoring the whole situation? Do I listen to her? Do I try to just be friends with her and keep the peace? Is she secretly a witch? Do I just mess around with her for a while? Find out on the next episode of DBZ.
 
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You might be her tool, i would commit to the fuck off attitude.
sounds like she already has a soulmate
but yeah, she might secretly be a witch. See if she floats. if she does, she's a witch.
 
Well, good sir. You sound like you are in your "shit show" years. Fast living; almost old enough to know better; young enough not to give a shit. My honest opinion with this situation is that you are still young. This is not the mother of your children. Sew your wild oats and play this fiddle until the bow breaks, or the strings for that matter. Do not invest any of your emotional time in this matter. By all means keep fucking her if you are so inclined but don't let her hit you in the feels. Not even for a moment.

Hope that helps.
 
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Well usually your gut instincts are right about people.

I think I know this woman btw and I seriously advise against messing with her but its your life. (just kidding, I just know the type)

If you think she is evil and still end up sleeping with her, use a condom. You will thank me in a few years when she gets pregnant and makes someone else miserable.

I really can't tell the situation. I only have your side and it is not like I know her personally. If you fancy her than maybe give it a go. I will warn you, sometimes when you keep saying no a woman might think you are playing hard to get and that will just turn her on more.

She might be done with that dude. On and off again relationships are common because that always gives someone to go back to. I think I have exhausted my current on again off again resources but at this point I would probably go back to an ex for a bit of companionship while my life is the way it is but it would be a temporary measure.

So it sounds like you are rather young. Maybe this guy was her first love. So I guess if you really fancy her give it a go but keep your guard up and just remember who she is. If you have true feelings for her and she is flaky and whatnot maybe it would be best to not get involved.
 
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@El: That's basically the mindset that I have at this point, but I have people telling me that it's wrong and I shouldn't do it which can be pretty conflicting, especially when they're good friends. I'm glad someone else understands.

And I intend to keep my feels untouched.

@dope: What you said about on and off relationships makes a lot of sense, how eventually it can be exhausted. Maybe she is telling the truth, but with this particular woman it will be guilty until proven innocent.

And you had me going "wait wtf" when you said you knew her because I actually believed you for a second lmao. She knows a shit ton of people.

@both: You would be right about your assumptions that I'm young. I'm 18, but I understand I'm not dealing with my "soulmate" or future mother of my children. A lot of people my age don't really grasp the concept that you don't need to be in love this early in life, her being one of them. I just wanna sew my wild oats and play my fiddle and other funny metaphors.
 
There is another person involved in this and that's the girl. Are your intentions good or are you using her in some way? She's probably just trying to figure out her life too and yeah women like drama they crave it but some are best left far away from you. I'd say cut all contact cause if she figures out some way to fuck you over she will..
 
You're getting used, and you're allowing it to happen.

She's kept you sitting there as her last resort for years, coming and going as she pleases. Every time she calls, you come running. Then the other guy calls, and off she goes. Have some self-respect. End it with her once and for all, and find someone that doesn't keep you hanging on as their back up plan while fucking other guys. You're never going to be able to trust her even if you do end up together, and with good reason.

Move on before you get yourself fucked over yet again.
 
Stop being walked all over. Have some fucking pride man. I cringed the whole time reading this. I still can't get this cringe face off.

Move re on with your life, stop putting the pussy up on the pedestoole. Godam
 
Sounds like she only wants you when she's having problems with her current boyfriend. You dated her 3 years ago?! Jus stop it. Get away from her. Igg the shit out her. Trust me, you will feel much better about yourself. She seem like the type of broad that when any drama happens, she's gon drag you into it to save her. You cannot save her from herself.

I know that seem kinda heartless but stop putting yourself out there for her. Some ppl will jus use you up emotionally cuz that's what makes them feel better about themselves. If she knows she can always call you and you will come running, she will continue to do that as long as you keep playing into it. Jus stop it. I'm sure yall broke up for a very good reason or maybe a lot of good reasons. You are being too nice. Don't be the nice guy. She don't appreciate it in the least. There's plenty of women out here. Get a real one n stop letting her play you.
 
Trouble doesnt find her. She is the trouble. She obviously doesnt think too much of you. Your her safety blanket, she knows you'll always want her. she craves attention and adoration. When she breaks off with the dude she's fucking she comes back to you. even if her and that guy are thru she will find someone else that gets her wet and move on from you. Honestly i'd just cut her off and find someoen that loves you. I hate to get into the beta alpha non sense but in her eyes your just a beta.That will give her attention etc till she finds someone else that really gets her rocks off.

If you wanna proceed with her your best bet would be to fuck her brains out and own the pussy. Make her say her pussy is yours be rough make her cum.
 
But am I really being used if I get something out of this? I mean yeah she's hurt me before, but I could just as easily find someone else in the time it takes her to. I don't take it very seriously anymore.
 
YES you are def being used. She's gon take anything you give her (emotions, objects) and keep taking from you. Aren't you tired of it by now? You broke up 3 damn years ago. That's a long time. By sticking around, you are basically telling her that you will always be there when shit isn't going right in her life.

What are you really getting out of this pseudo-relationship on/off again bullshit? Some pussy? Some affection when she feels like it? You said she's done the back n forth with you already 3 times. Also, that you was hip to it by the second time around. What are you doing? Get away n stay away.
 
devilsgospel said:
But am I really being used if I get something out of this? I mean yeah she's hurt me before, but I could just as easily find someone else in the time it takes her to. I don't take it very seriously anymore.
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Stop lying to yourself. If you didnt take it so serious you wouldn't be posting about it on a forum . And shes a girl she could replace you with 100 different cocks before you'd find a female or 2.
 
She stressed me out so much that I exhausted my week supply of benzos in two days.

She gone. Don't mess with my drugs.
 
devilsgospel said:
@El: That's basically the mindset that I have at this point, but I have people telling me that it's wrong and I shouldn't do it which can be pretty conflicting, especially when they're good friends. I'm glad someone else understands.

And I intend to keep my feels untouched.
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The thing about really good friends is that they always have their own set of morals and advice to fit those morals. That in itself is the problem. If they've never been where you are then they really can't offer a valid opinion on the situation, so this is wrong by default in their minds. You will find as you get older, the opinions will change. Naivety and inexperience will never equal to good advice. This whole experience that you are going through should be taken as a learning experience. Take what you get from this situation and apply it to your future framework in finding the ideal woman. As long as you think objectively and keep your feelings aside, you will learn from this.

Hope that helps.
 
Sounds like she's one of those women who (think they) like assholes. Continue what you are doing-ignoring her, questioning her sincerity etc. I think you must like her at least a little bit and you could like her a lot more but she's so wild. Tame her. It'll be hella fun! Don't go catching any feels though for a while-she won't like that even if she thinks she does at first. She wants you to let her chase you.
 
Risky pattern. Your both being used and your both using. Up to you if your willing to get your heart tromped again because usually, if it walks like, talks like, it usually is.
Guard yourself.
I'd hold out for someone less flakey.
 
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