Opioids buprenorphine not enough, Heroin didn't help enough. Help me numb the pain.

[boomhs]

I choose to open saying this: My depression is so insanelly hellish without bupe\alcohol\something, at around nighttime come i go insane with pure pain, my tears dried long ago

My situation is unusual. My life is for, reasons, a living hell. I have depression major and circa 4years ago for an exame or smt took subutex. Well, life was good again. I was also an alcoholic (whatever kills the pain) which subu cured. I got my doc to let me on 2mg a day. More and more psychs are using morphne alikes on patients with severe depression. I have been commited before to a ward to take anti-depress IV, fix timings on pills etc... Oh they now administer KETAMINE for hard cases diagnostis of pain. More and more medicine is taking a turn into stronger stuff for depression. Why? Because it's better than a suicide

Subu isn't holding my depression, and the problem is after 4mg it peaks and i'm left still suffering. So i got H, (top #4), I do have resistence from subu (2-4mg not much) but the goddamn H doesn't feel much better! it's hard to IV my veins are bad so i just snort. Heroin also seemed to peak i have no idea how. I have free Bupe and it doesn't cut it...

I need the full H experience once in a while, with subutex alone i'm not managing to stay alive. About Heroin "hitting strong nod bliss" even snorting a bit too much once i felt a mini OD hard breathing dry mouth..

How to get real high, like the Jesse, like trainspotting?? over night would be amazing my nights are very hard....

Please don't reply with moral\clinic advice, my story is way too long and complex, took me to this path and the help i want is here. Ty mates

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qLGCBueZ34

 

[Personallube]

The only way to fully feel the boy is to go off the sub for atleast 24 hours. 2-4 mg is making the boy like 1/10th as effective as it would be without.

 

[boomhs]

The only way to fully feel the boy is to go off the sub for atleast 24 hours. 2-4 mg is making the boy like 1/10th as effective as it would be without.

I took H for a week... So last days subu wasn't in my blood anymore... So why wasn't H working? So i was taking H and end day beer what the hell. Subu works better than top notch H now?...

I've been reading about Ketamine and TBH i think it's what i'm going to get. It has anti depress effect (now given in hospitals in certain countries / situations). Maybe it will really help me. Heroin is... Downfall and subutex works better on me, what a joke.

 

[boomhs]

Just read a lot more, Ketamine can be amazing on extreme depression cases. I can only get it by commited in hospital which i won't...

I talked with my psicologist today...He says he'll ask a doctor about benefits and that. I can it and have it next week. Should i go for it? I know this is not a "illegal substances help line forum" but... i'm desperate. help

 

[boomhs]

Just ordered 3mg Ketamine and 1g H (China White top top)

About Ketamine there were some different types... One was A LOT cheaper than the other. So i got the high priced one (well higher of what was presented)

 

[Hodor]

Just ordered 3mg Ketamine and 1g H (China White top top)

Chances are this "China White" is just fentanyl (or rather analogues thereof) though.

The term used to refer to southeast asian heroin hydrochloride wayyy back in the day, but has largely been synonymous with fentanyl-laced heroin (or fentanyl-based powder without any actual heroin in it) for 40 years now.

Here's a report from the 90's, where so-called "China White" tested as a number of fentanyl analogues, such as alpha-methyl-fentanyl or 3-methyl fentanyl.

Back in 2016/2017, furanyl fentanyl probably was the most popular analogue sold as China White; a few years earlier, it was acetyl-fentanyl and butyryl-fentanyl.

Basically, given how much of the stuff sold as regular "heroin" nowadays is actually fentanyl, anything sold as "China White" is virtually guaranteed to be fent.

 

[HoldBack]

In my experience, bupe is better for depression than any other opi. And it?s kappa activity supports that assertion (in theory at leadt). I?ve never been clinically depressed though. And I always found bupe was missing... something.

I always recommend methadone to people who did not have success with bupe.

Regardless though, I think you?re looking in the wrong place to help your depression. SSRI?s are still the best we can do for depression. Unfortunately, they are only mildly to moderately effective. I?ve heard some older antidepressants can be more effective for some (e.g. tricyclics). They come with significantly more side effects though

Like I said, methadone would be worth a try. The NMDA activity gives it some effects h does not have.

I?d guess ketamine is effective (based on my experience with mxe). But I?d also guess it does not last long enough, and you?d have to take it in near-dissassociative doses for it to work.

 

[boomhs]

The H i get is 5 star'd, impossible to get better (well it's the most expensive, it's water soluble you can drop on a spoon with water pull and IV just like that. Zero fentanly.

I'm buying and taking Ketamine. I'll also get top notch one. My hospital won't give it to me w\o commited so i'll do it on my own, small dosage accompanied by a friend. Let's see if i reck my brain or what. The dosages etc i'll get them right i think, many online forums. Ty.

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

How to get real high, like Jesse, like trainspotting??

Clip of Jesse Pinkman (Breaking Bad) using Heroin for the First time

Just wanted to point out that the Jesse clip was a Hollywood interpretation of Heroin use for the FIRST time.

Trainspotting was based off a book of the same name set in Edinburgh during the 80's. A time and place better suited for real Heroin. Outside of say maybe Iran, finding real Heroin nowadays, or at least consistently, is quite the feat.

I would seriously heed Hodor's warning regarding the Tops #4 or China White you're getting. Even if the batch you have now is good, the next might not be. I hope things work out with your psychiatrist and possibly Ketamine if it will disuade you from returning to H or fentoin.

Chances are this "China White" is just fentanyl (or rather analogues thereof) though.

The term used to refer to southeast asian heroin hydrochloride wayyy back in the day, but has largely been synonymous with fentanyl-laced heroin (or fentanyl-based powder without any actual heroin in it) for 40 years now.

Here's a report from the 90's, where so-called "China White" tested as a number of fentanyl analogues, such as alpha-methyl-fentanyl or 3-methyl fentanyl.

Back in 2016/2017, furanyl fentanyl probably was the most popular analogue sold as China White; a few years earlier, it was acetyl-fentanyl and butyryl-fentanyl.

Basically, given how much of the stuff sold as regular "heroin" nowadays is actually fentanyl, anything sold as "China White" is virtually guaranteed to be fent.

 

[boomhs]

Just wanted to point out that the Jesse clip was a Hollywood interpretation of Heroin use for the FIRST time.

Trainspotting was based off a book of the same name set in Edinburgh during the 80's. A time and place better suited for real Heroin. Outside of say maybe Iran, finding real Heroin nowadays, or at least consistently, is quite the feat.

I would seriously heed Hodor's warning regarding the Tops #4 or China White you're getting. Even if the batch you have now is good, the next might not be. I hope things work out with your psychiatrist and possibly Ketamine if it will disuade you from returning to H or fentoin.

I dunno how sensible damzels are mods now, i remember long ago you had to say SWIM and never discuss amounts and shit. I'll just say if you know how to navigate a dark web market. at least drug wise it's, even if you want, harder to get scammed\bad gear than good lol. Hence i really mean when i say i'm 99% sure i get what i pay for everytime.
Just ordered K and some China White. It's not cheap ofc but it's good to have some stashed around.

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

Even if the batch you have now is good, the next might not be.

I dunno how sensible damzels are mods now, i remember long ago you had to say SWIM and never discuss amounts and shit. I'll just say if you know how to navigate a dark web market. at least drug wise it's, even if you want, harder to get scammed\bad gear than good lol. Hence i really mean when i say i'm 99% sure i get what i pay for everytime.
Just ordered K and some China White. It's not cheap ofc but it's good to have some stashed around.

Well this sensible damsel has heard plenty of complaints from BL'ers ordering "Da Fire" #4 H off DNM with good ratings and getting Fentoin all the same. Apologies as I didn't realize that you're a real DNM pro.

Also BL has never endorsed the using of SWIM or my pet, etc. It's lame to think it affords you any protection. Best of Luck in your seeking a Jesse/ trainspotting high.

Why-we-don-t-use-SWIM-MEGATHREAD

No more of this "My dog took some JWH-123 and is tripping" or "SWIM said I should drink turpentine"SWIMming or using obtuse third person pronouns (among them: "my friend" "my dog" "my cat" "my gopher" "my parrot" "my pet sun god")
SWIM:
1. is not going to protect you in any court of law at all. So please refrain from usage of freaky pronouns. Use "I", "me", and "my".

2. makes everything harder to read because instead of getting to the facts you have to skirt around the issue with ridiculous statements like "my cat ate 50mg of oxycodone"

We are not the "other forum" which I am not going to name. We don't "do" vendor discussions, SWIMMING, etc. Talk like a rational human being and you will get equally polite answers.

 

[boomhs]

Well this sensible damsel has heard plenty of complaints from BL'ers ordering "Da Fire" #4 H off DNM with good ratings and getting Fentoin all the same. Apologies as I didn't realize that you're a real DNM pro.

Also BL has never endorsed the using of SWIM or my pet, etc. It's lame to think it affords you any protection. Best of Luck in your seeking a Jesse/ trainspotting high.

Why-we-don-t-use-SWIM-MEGATHREAD

Ergo then I should trust and take for word experiences from a junkies forum and not from a junkies market products that has dozens, sometimes hundreds of well, junkie approved opinions as well? Of course you don't sell anything, let alone anything that might not be verified. Yet this is an open forum and "bad posts" can be made inducing harm.

I never got a bad product yet i've seen complains of some people, but i've also seen posts here that were called out by others as false or needing fix.

I just did a line of subutex and yes this is a safer as it gets! Yet i didn't sublingual it i put it up my nose which in long, long term causes severe issues.

Seems so sick to the hypocrite norms running their boring drills but we are an elite race of our own tthe stoners junkies and freaks

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

Sooo...Did you have any more questions?, besides:

How to get real high, like the Jesse, like trainspotting??

 

[boomhs]

Sooo...Did you have any more questions?, besides:

I got great answers including yours since i couldn't word it. I never had a friend who did H let alone IV, question is legit, shoot legit gear, the time(s) i did too much i got dizzy and double vision and went to bed. I knew someone who got the nod but he was on huge amounts for 3 months. Years ago my 1st IV was dilaudid and too much for 0 resistance (4mg) i got knocked out in bliss so i don't even at this point. You've done H?

Oh i'm about to get Ketamine IV at the hospital. A new treatment regime for depression major where you get it, redosed after some days. "Depression comes back as it was, BUT, while it's off you can change your life, for me it would be: no hellish nights, take baths leave home exercise, live.
Yet it takes a week of "check up". So i read that it can be taken while subutex and ordered it from dark web it's soon to come. I'll do it with a friend in case i stop breathing snorting a horse tranquilizer or smt...

 

[Chris42393]

If you are taking those for depression, I can recommend something else ( thats not in the opiate family) that can probably help. I was SEVERELY depressed as well and took opiates to help too. I ended up getting pharma grade Ketamine and after reading online how it can help with depression, I started taking it. The ketamine I got was for IV/IM use. I took 25mg, IM'd it in my right quad and about 5-10 minutes later it kicked it. Id lay down, listen to some music... while the effects took place. After an hour it was all done. I took this once or twice a week for about 5 weeks and my depression was literally ALL GONE. It worked amazingly for depression. They recently made Ketamine legal for depression as well. I was so surprised it worked so quickly. You can literally tell it will work for you after the first week (if that). I took it twice and I felt like a new man, it was amazing! So now, I literally have no more depression and can actually live my life. If you want something for depression, I think thats the way to go. Opiates can "work" for a very short time and doctor prescribed medicine, like pills, can take FOREVER to work and they also have horrible side effects. Please please give this a try. it literally changed my life.

 

[boomhs]

If you are taking those for depression, I can recommend something else ( thats not in the opiate family) that can probably help. I was SEVERELY depressed as well and took opiates to help too. I ended up getting pharma grade Ketamine and after reading online how it can help with depression, I started taking it. The ketamine I got was for IV/IM use. I took 25mg, IM'd it in my right quad and about 5-10 minutes later it kicked it. Id lay down, listen to some music... while the effects took place. After an hour it was all done. I took this once or twice a week for about 5 weeks and my depression was literally ALL GONE. It worked amazingly for depression. They recently made Ketamine legal for depression as well. I was so surprised it worked so quickly. You can literally tell it will work for you after the first week (if that). I took it twice and I felt like a new man, it was amazing! So now, I literally have no more depression and can actually live my life. If you want something for depression, I think thats the way to go. Opiates can "work" for a very short time and doctor prescribed medicine, like pills, can take FOREVER to work and they also have horrible side effects. Please please give this a try. it literally changed my life.

Wow amazing... I'm really in the situation you were. My dillema is to get it from hospital in the program i need to be commited some days before to get blood tested etc (being on a psych ward is no fun). On the other hand i can get some now in powder and feel it out with a bump up my nose.

Either way i pray it will work on me. If hell exists i lived there in 2018. Now i improved to a less helish life, still shit and might crumble anytime...

 

[Chris42393]

Wow amazing... I'm really in the situation you were. My dillema is to get it from hospital in the program i need to be commited some days before to get blood tested etc (being on a psych ward is no fun). On the other hand i can get some now in powder and feel it out with a bump up my nose.

Either way i pray it will work on me. If hell exists i lived there in 2018. Now i improved to a less helish life, still shit and might crumble anytime...

Wish you the best of luck brotha, the only downside of doing it at the hospital is the money $$$. Im sure its EXTREMELYYYY expensive (unless you can afford it). If im not mistaken, "street" ketamine is pretty cheap. If you can 'correctly' dose the ketamine out and get a good theaputic dosage (ie. 25mg like I did), thats the way i'd go 100%. Doctors will nickle and dime you every step of the way, no doubt about it. Depending on how bad your depression is... anywhere from 1-3 times a week will be perfect (dosing).

Take all this information with a grain of salt. This is what I did and what i'd personally do again, if I had to do it.

Good luck.

 

[Hodor]

Ergo then I should trust and take for word experiences from a junkies forum and not from a junkies market products that has dozens, sometimes hundreds of well, junkie approved opinions as well? Of course you don't sell anything, let alone anything that might not be verified. Yet this is an open forum and "bad posts" can be made inducing harm.

A significant portion of product reviews on Amazon are fake. Politicians and celebrities have millions of fake Twitter followers. State intelligence agencies are promoting insane conspiracy theories in Facebook comments sections to deepen the divide between the left and the right.
You really think darkweb drug markets aren't full of scammers, shills and fake reviews? Unlike DNM vendors, the people here aren't making shitloads of money off of passing off fent as heroin, and thus have little reason to lie to you. As the feds keep cracking down on darkweb markets, most of the "idealism" (if that is even the right term) that existed in the Silkroad days is gone. Vendors harbor much fewer illusions about "building a reputation" and long-term plans; knowing that any darkweb market is going to get shut down sooner or later, they want to make as much money and cash out as soon as possible.

Also, it's not just me saying that "China White = fentanyl", it's a whole bunch of actual forensic scientists... and they've been saying it (and this bears repeating) for almost 40 freaking years.

 

[boomhs]

On price i won't be paying it full, maybe none, not sure but it's the system in my country. Getting from darkweb is costly, not sustainable at life long.

About the Darkweb (top market(s) i'm tired of being "that guy" praising it. You have or get an idea of your choice (pills, brown H[medium], white[top]. Check out top vendors, read their infos. Then check out reviews. If you see e.g. -few days appart- 5* from different customers i guess it's 99% you'll get what you paid for, with the shipping option you want (and pay for). In morphine pills i've gotten still blistered ones... Sadly they're too expensive so you prolly want H. I know by price, reviews and various ones i've chosen there is no fentanyl and if its cut or laced (it won't) the quality is the same from a... real one? So... The problem IMO is street dealers not markets.

Fully assure you have no problems:

Never keep too much money in the market wallet (market can be shut)
Always encrypt your adress (FBI won't raid you lol, at SilkRoad only the owner was jailed but you don't want to be in a list)
I heard of a guy that was selling good stuff at a good price, had bulk orders waiting in list, disappeared just like that poketing thousands. Hence, like IRL tragedies happen

I'm trying Ketamine this week. Either hosp or what i got. Sure hope it works because i've long passed the mental pain one can take. Will post results.

 

[kleinerkiffer]

As we don't allow 'how to get high' threads and this is borderline one (I do understand that you only want pain relief), plus it's turning into a DNM discussion, which we don't allow either, I'm having to close this thread for now.

OP, if you want the thread to be re-opened please PM me or any other OD mod.
Closed