Social Breath control.

[carbonhalo]

I grew up a punk rocker but couldn't follow the descent into monotony of Oi.
The same reason affected heavy metal. I've always described my musical preference as "Thrash puppy"
I have a reasonable singing voice and often sing along in the car or while washing the dishes.
For several years now I find that the moment I attempt to exert breathe control I feel like I'm about to sob and can't sing.
Sometimes I also get that staccato intake of breath like i've been bawling.(there must be a word for that but I haven't found it yet.)
Its more pronounced with sad songs, but most of my music collection is angry and political, and this happens even with aggressive lyrics.
Two of my favourite bands have invited me onstage to sing to help clear out my bucket list, but there is no way I am going to jump on stage and start crying. I know I have poorly treated depression but I can't see that as being the sole cause.

Anyone have some input for me? I may need some different perspective.

 

[CFC]

Interesting question.

When you feel your voice going, are you feeling emotionally charged, like you're actually going to cry? Or are you saying it just sounds that way?

For me personally, music/sounds are directly (subconsciously) wired into my emotions. It can be very difficult not to react to some. Mostly I use this as a treatment for negative moods and depression (eg uplifting harmonies, certain chords, certain instruments can induce very potent euphoria etc). But equally, if I need to cry (like, I know I'm frazzled and need to release, and am incapable of crying), I can turn to music that causes me to lose it and burst into tears.

 

[carbonhalo]

I take a breath and the moment i start the exhale I feel like I've been bawling for 5 minutes and that staccato intake manifests.
It happens regardless of what feelings are triggered.
Thanks to decades of bong smoking I've lost 15% of my lung capacity, but I'm not sure that, nor my haemoptysis episodes, have much to do with it.
I'm scared of what psychic MOAB I'm suppressing.

 

[CFC]

I take a breath and the moment i start the exhale I feel like I've been bawling for 5 minutes and that staccato intake manifests.
It happens regardless of what feelings are triggered.
Thanks to decades of bong smoking I've lost 15% of my lung capacity, but I'm not sure that, nor my haemoptysis episodes, have much to do with it.
I'm scared of what psychic MOAB I'm suppressing.

Staccato sounds like poor muscle control of the vocal cords? Do you have a tremor?

FWIW many singers take a small dose of propranolol (a beta-blocker) before they perform to loosen up the muscle and sort out various vocal niggles, particularly if performing in front of people causes a bit too much adrenaline or nervousness.

 

[Opana313]

I sing and play guitar.. I hate to say it but maybe you have already over worked your vocal chords not to mention drugs and alcohol can affect your singing..

for example a few beers I'm probably hitting notes perfectly but once I get passed a certain amount of alcohol I can't sing for shit. And drugs do this too, I feel I sing very well when on benzos or even opioids but the worse the cotton mouth gets, the harder it will be to hit certain notes, stims do this too.

This also goes for talking too much. Let's say you have been hella chatty for an hour or so and then decide to jam and bam your vocals are crackling. You said punk rock and heavy metal, it is an absolute fact that straining your vocals over a long period of time, will fuck your shit up. Look at or listen to Miley Cyrus, in JRE interview she had to explain to him what her doctor told her, "all those years singing, lead to her raspy almost horse Male voice. She still sounds great with her new shit, but just another thing to take into consideration. As far as the feelings of sobbing while exhaling I have never heard of & can't comment on.

 

[carbonhalo]

Sometimes the feeling is absent and I can hit every note in my registers. I have yelled myself hoarse a few times when I was younger but doubt it has affected anything permanently. I am less likely to get this problem if anyone is around..but then, I rarely sing when anyone can hear me. Singing ALONG with others the problem rarely manifests.