Kikikatchu
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2016
- Messages
- 4
My boyfriend (29) and I (23) have been dating now for about 9 months and although we have tried, we have yet to have good sex. He had testicular cancer when he was 24, but the doctor said all his plumbing was physically working and that our problems seem to be more mental. However, he never really seems able to get an erection. It is always at half mast. I know it has to be worse mentally on him than it is on me and I try to be as understanding as I can. I've mentioned my frustrations to him (literally prefacing it as, 'I know this is worse for you than me'...) and although we talk about options, he never follows through. Every time after it happen he gets teary eyed, withdrawn and won't talk about it with me. I'm trying to help, but it seems he is unwilling to help himself. I don't mind the fact that he has ED, I mind the fact that he isn't doing anything proactive about it. He, of course, means more to me than sex and I want to help him but I fear all hope is lost for us in this intimate matter. I'm starting to feel guilty because, even though I know we all have fantasies about other people, my fantasies about other people feel like they are starting to border on the edge of emotional cheating. He has never done drugs, literally has one alcoholic drink a year, doesn't typically work out and eats a pretty standard American diet. He is also refuses to go on any drugs for ED, as he has already seen his doctor about it. We have already also been to a sex therapist and he has yet to implement what she tells him to do.
How do I motivate him to be more proactive with our sex life/his sexuality?
How do I get him to stop being so withdrawn about this matter?
Any ideas on how else I could help him?
How do I motivate him to be more proactive with our sex life/his sexuality?
How do I get him to stop being so withdrawn about this matter?
Any ideas on how else I could help him?