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Boyfriend often leaves me when we're drunk

If it only happens whike you are drinking that might ne the issue. Some people get in weird places when they drink. It seems like kost of the time he had left he has been uncomfortable, and you wanted to stay. Not saying he should have left you just pointing out a pattern. Maybe alchohol and socializimg don't miy well with him. Not sure how he acts but people with severe social anxiety often just 'dip' from what I have noticed. I feel like this is something you need ti communicate with your boyfriend and possibly look at from his persoective instead of going to the internet and asking a buncha lonely dudes how they feel on the subject. Not that it isn't healthy to seek outside advice but would you want a buncha random people from the internet telling your boyfriend you weren't good enough for him because he posted in a forum stating that you weren't considerate of his feelings while out drinking behind your back? I doubt it. Talking to him about it wilk get you a lot further than asking people who have no idea about it. Not trying to come off as rude just would like you to see that from his perspective. If my girlfriend posted about me like this instead of coming to me it would be humilating and agravating and she agrees that she would not be too happy if I were posting about her in this matter.
 
^ Well, thanks (I guess) for bumping this thread. Lol. >.> I guess you really felt the need to respond, lol. Um, I understand he was uncomfortable.. but I don't think that's a good reason nor excuse? He's fine with drinking and socializing.. actually becomes more social when he drinks. I don't believe he has severe social anxiety either. Lol. What are all these excuses? You kind of sound like him. Lmao.

This is forum is specifically for people to get RELATIONSHIP ADVICE. So please, why don't you go post "Not that it isn't healthy to seek outside advice but would you want a buncha random people from the internet telling your boyfriend you weren't good enough for him because he posted in a forum stating that you weren't considerate of his feelings while out drinking behind your back? I doubt it. Talking to him about it wilk get you a lot further than asking people who have no idea about it. Not trying to come off as rude just would like you to see that from his perspective. If my girlfriend posted about me like this instead of coming to me it would be humilating and agravating and she agrees that she would not be too happy if I were posting about her in this matter." into literally all the threads in the forum. Your post just seems so personal. :eek:

You obviously leave your gf at bars. :eek: & yeah, I've obviously talked to him about it.. many times! Lol. I don't know what's so "humilating" and "agravating" (srsly use spellcheck lol) about someone getting advice about someone else. It's an advice forum. It's ANONYMOUS. & nobody is perfect. Everyone has problems and issues, it's not that bad to be able to talk openly about stuff. Maybe you should try it sometime and stop attacking people who use this forum for it's purpose.
 
dude you should be there for him when he's uncomfortable rather than expecting him to drink his way through it.

you said he works as a bartender right? he's probably sick of bars and sick of drunk people.

mescaphysicality said he wasn't tryna be rude, after all "this is an advice" forum. maybe analyze the advice the dude gave before you start getting into silly crap like mocking his spelling. he had a lot of fair points.

he didn't attack you dude, but you just attacked him.

you responded harshly to a chill post so I can't help but wonder in what other situations you make rash responses to stuff without properly analyzing stuff.

your boyfriend, he has feelings too man, and you do not understand them. you may think you do but nah dude. you don't.

it doesn't seem like you guys communicate very well with each other. that's something you should work on.

with this thread you are giving one person's veiw of a set of events to a bunch of strangers(who are probably high) who do not actually know you, your boyfriend or your situation. it would indeed be unwise to take anyone's advice from here. there are just way too many variables for us to offer advice that correctly suits your situation.
I think that's what mescaphysicality was trying to say in a way.(tho I'm not saying these thread serve no purpose. nice way to vent and try to see different takes on the situations described)

you gotta have real talks with your boyfriend or it will just get worse dude. even if you wanna break up with him or whatever you still gotta have the real talks first. and I don't mean just talking about things, fucken real talk dude it's gotta get weird!

(sorry if this makes no sense, that happens sometimes. and sorry if I offended anyone, I didn't try to but that also happens sometimes.)

don't emotions cloud communication homies.

best of luck.
 
Oh my lordy. Okay, I am there with him, lol, he's the one that's not there for me. I don't understand. I'm not the one leaving HIM in social situations. & yeah, if he's sick of drunk people, he should tell me..? Or maybe not go out to bars/clubs..? Better communication on his side too... he doesn't even tell me he's leaving!

I didn't think he had any good points; other than "talk to him", which I did. & we're going to couples therapy. I mean, I don't know what more you want me to do. A "bunch of strangers who are probably high". Why do you guys feel the need to put down people on the message board? Most people are NOT high here. I actually like and respect A LOT OF PEOPLE ON HERE. You guys are attacking people who use this forum, that's not cool.

& I don't understand his feelings. Ok.
& we don't communicate well enough so that's something I should work on. Just me right? Because communication is a one way street... wait a minute....
 
So let's get this straight, YOU got shit faced drink to the point of losing YOUR shit entirely, would have lost your keys, wallet, phone, purse, etc. We're passed out in the street etc and now your worried you could have gotten raped and that's HIs fault and he's a pussy. Ok.

You would have lost all that shit had he not taken it and possibly been robbed. You come in drunk and argumentative and they want to arrest him for domestic violence? Are you ok? Gtfo.

You are responsible for yourself. Its not his fault you got wasted. The first time is cute, I'll hold your hair while you puke, maybe even twice, but when someone is a serial drunk that loses their shit after 3 drinks repeatedly, fuck that shit. Not putting up with that or waiting just 30 minutes. I'd break up with them. Period. Had enough drama for five lifetimes. You need to keep your shit together...all the time, every minute of every day. That's what being a mature adult is about.

Seems like your trying to paint this situation from a victim mentality and I'm sad to see some of my pals here are taking your bait. You should be grateful he put up with it for four years bc clearly you can't keep it together when you've been drinking.
 
I don't know why you think i am attacking you, lol. I didn't say one thing remotely combative, unlike you. The sheer fact that you got so defensive is a sign in itself.

I gave my opinion in an ADVICE forum, fuck me, right?! It seems like the second someone didn't tell you exactly what you wanted to hear you got pretty agitated.

All I did was make suggestions and ask questions,with the way you reacted I am feeling even worse for your boyfriend. I am glad you talked to him, and yes I eould gove that same advice to anyone as openess is crucial in a realationship. And no I do not leave my girlfriend anywhere, because I am in a healthy realationship unlike you. You can say what you want but at the end of the day I KNOW you are in an unhappy relationship, and I am not ?
 
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jammin83 said:
So let's get this straight, YOU got shit faced drink to the point of losing YOUR shit entirely, would have lost your keys, wallet, phone, purse, etc. We're passed out in the street etc and now your worried you could have gotten raped and that's HIs fault and he's a pussy. Ok.

You would have lost all that shit had he not taken it and possibly been robbed. You come in drunk and argumentative and they want to arrest him for domestic violence? Are you ok? Gtfo.

You are responsible for yourself. Its not his fault you got wasted. The first time is cute, I'll hold your hair while you puke, maybe even twice, but when someone is a serial drunk that loses their shit after 3 drinks repeatedly, fuck that shit. Not putting up with that or waiting just 30 minutes. I'd break up with them. Period. Had enough drama for five lifetimes. You need to keep your shit together...all the time, every minute of every day. That's what being a mature adult is about.

Seems like your trying to paint this situation from a victim mentality and I'm sad to see some of my pals here are taking your bait. You should be grateful he put up with it for four years bc clearly you can't keep it together when you've been drinking.
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Ok, ONE TIME, yes, I was pretty wasted. I admit that. The other times.. not so much. Lol. & yeah, I never said he was a pussy either.

I come in drunk and argumentative? Well, yes, we were both drunk, and he left me at the club taking my purse with him so yes, I WAS UPSET. This is a normal reaction after being stranded someone with no bag, keys, and phone! He left the club, without telling me, WITH ALL MY STUFF. He was the one that started yelling and punching things; so of course when the cops showed up, they were looking at HIM.
mescaphysicality94 said:
I don't know why you think i am attacking you, lol. I didn't say one thing remotely combative, unlike you. The sheer fact that you got so defensive is a sign in itself.

I gave my opinion in an ADVICE forum, fuck me, right?! It seems like the second someone didn't tell you exactly what you wanted to hear you got pretty agitated.

All I did was make suggestions and ask questions,with the way you reacted I am feeling even worse for your boyfriend. I am glad you talked to him, and yes I eould gove that same advice to anyone as openess is crucial in a realationship. And no I do not leave my girlfriend anywhere, because I am in a healthy realationship unlike you. You can say what you want but at the end of the day I KNOW you are in an unhappy relationship, and I am not ��
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Ok, and I said I did talk to him. So I don't need a lecture about how I'm such a bad girlfriend being "disrespectful " and whatnot to my boyfriend by posting on an advice forum. You totally attacked me for even posting this thread... which I felt was not cool. So of course I'm going to be defensive. Your advice was, talk to your bf, don't listen to these "losers", and you shouldn't have made this thread. I don't know if you felt that was really helpful, but it really wasn't. Thanks for your
cents.
 
I think I missed the bit about how he doesn't tell you that he is leaving before he does. it is kinda weird, maybe he thinks it may cause an argument if you have both been drinking. I have no idea.

all I know is that alcohol is toxic to a relationship under stress.
 
What I asked him about it, he just told me he didn't remember why he left. He just remembered going home and wondering where I was... and why he had my bag with my phone, keys, etc. I had to call him using the bouncers phone.. and he was like oh yeah, I hopped into a cab and I'm home now. So, when I went home--YES I WAS DRUNK AND MAD, but rightfully so? He just completely lost it and started screaming at me and punching the walls, etc. Cops came, and he thought I had called the cops on him and was trying to get him arrested. The cops pulled me aside and kept asking if he hurt me, and I need to just tell them so they can keep me safe, at least for the night. I mean, it was pretty intense. I get it most of it was the alcohol, because he doesn't normally act like that. But a part of me is scared now that I've seen this side of him.

I guess the reason why I posted this thread was trying to figure out what to think of drunk behaviors? Do I just chalk it up to oh he's drunk.. but then where's the responsibility? Where would I draw the line? Because obviously if he cheated, then that would be no. If he hit me, then no. But is it okay for him to scream, yell, and punch/hit items with the cops THIS close to arresting him?

& I agree, alcohol IS toxic. We actually both quit drinking in the beg of the year. He also quit smoking pot too but that just made his anger worse... so we're currently separated and just going to weekly couples therapy.
 
mescaphysicality94 said:
I feel like this is something you need ti communicate with your boyfriend and possibly look at from his persoective instead of going to the internet and asking a buncha lonely dudes how they feel on the subject.
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tru bout communicating but thats a very sexist sweeping statement

bluelight has lots of women and not everyone on it is lonely. speak for yourself
 
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