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- Apr 4, 2006
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I don't have my own story of bipolar disorder to share, so I will wander off to the anxiety and ADD thread soon.
My s/o, however, does. He was diagnosed bipolar II well before I met him. His mother is bipolar I and is institutionalized. He is a brilliant writer with an English degree who would love to be in a master's level program to write professionally. His day job is that of a computer programmer for a university. Well before I met him, he was married to a psychologist, with whom he has two sons and shared custody. I love the children as though they were my own. I will take my own rant about her to the appropriate place, if at all.
My dude is having a terrible mixed episode that started yesterday. He is with his kids right now, and I'm going over to his place after he drops them off at their mother's. I was going to go over last night, but neither of us feels right about having sleepovers with the children around just yet, and due to bridge closures in the area, I wouldn't have been able to get home.
I'd like to know what I can do to support him. He is not a dependent person; he does talk openly about his conditions, at least with me, family, and close friends. He says he just wants to lay in bed and be moody. I think I am doing the right thing, as when he is manic, he has a history of self-harm and compulsive gambling. He agrees that I should be there in case he does anything he should not. Oddly, he's not much of a drinker and won't touch anything aside from the occasional beer or medicinal pot (he has in the past; drug use is not his thing). As with a couple other folks in TDS, he has a condition that causes his vertebrae to continue to fuse in places where they should bend. He is in constant pain, and he doesn't like the way pain pills make him feel, so he takes only ibuprofen. The pain clearly affects his mood adversely. It is going to take a team of doctors to get him to the point where he is able to be really active - and a partner at his side to make sure they 'don't fuck him up worse'.
About 6 weeks ago, he decided he didn't like the way lithium made him feel. He was taking 2.4g (yes, you read that correctly) PER DAY, in addition to 10 mg Abilify, 350 mg Wellbutrin XR, and 60 mg Adderall (as he's also got adult ADHD). He did a lightning-fast taper against medical advice and everything changed after that. The light in his beautiful eyes was back at first, but the other day he just looked dead inside. Our relationship has not been terribly adversely affected beyond that I am insistent that he find a competent psychiatrist and he doesn't want to take psych meds. Unless they're Adderall. Oh, he's fine with that.
He obsessively reads about the side effects of mood stabilizers (well, he was married to a psychologist) and he refuses treatment. He will not get treatment from anyone other than the psychiatric nurse who feeds him his Adderall every month or so. As he has had a manic episode, SSRIs are totally out of the question - they're contraindicated, and Prozac was what he was on when he had his manic episode. I don't believe he has tried Lamictal, nor do I believe he would because of the potential allergic reaction that another poster mentioned above in the form of rash. I suggested that once, as it works for a LOT of people who are bipolar; it has changed their lives completely. He pooh-poohed that immediately.
I want to respect my boyfriend's desire to be off meds. We have known each other since late winter; didn't become involved until spring, and we've taken it slowly for obvious reasons. I hope he reaches the conclusion that he can't do this alone, and that he will talk to a psychiatrist fucking immediately. As he has a dental appointment, that he cannot reschedule (tooth crown), for tomorrow, it will have to be Tuesday. I will be staying with him aside from work until then, and as I make my own schedule, at least that is not a problem. I know what would happen otherwise.
I just want my boyfriend to get better.I don't want to see him manic or sad. He is worth it as a human being even if he were not my partner.
To the bipolar folks: much love. May your days be the right kind of happy and your nights awaken to happier days. Any insight that anyone has to offer would be greatly appreciated.
If he is manic now getting him to voluntarily seek treatment may be pretty difficult. When you are manic or worse mixed state you really aren't thinking rationally and it can be damn near impossible to reason to someone when they are like that. As far as medications go i would say that out of all the medications i take lamictal is the only one i get no side effects from at all. I have never gotten one noticeable side effect from lamictal besides stable moods since i started taking it in 2007. It has literally been a life saver for me. The lamictal rash can happen with other medications as well (tegretol aka carbamazepine is one example) it's just that lamictal get's a bad rep for it. But if you up your dose safely the chances of getting the dreaded rash are pretty slim. It is certainly worth the risk if it turns out to work well for him. One size does not fit all when it comes to medications so it may not work for him but there are other meds he could try as well. Lamictal is one that is one of the only true mood stabilizers (lithium being the other one) as the rest such as depakote, carbmazepine, etc are just anti-manic drugs. Lamictal also has a pretty low side effects profile and it usually doesn't require blood tests so that's a major plus as well.
If he is manic now getting him to a psychiatrist or some kind of medical help would be the best idea by far. The faster you get it under control the easier it is to get it under control. Mania also is not pleasant or atleast not for me and manic states are hell on earth so that is one reason why i always take my medications now.
. It helps the mixed episodes i get along with the racing thoughts and awful depressive episodes so that's something atleast.