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  • Film & TV Moderators: ghostfreak

Best monologues in movie history

SHEPHERD takes the podium. There's a palpable BUZZ in the
room as video operators adjust their equipment, etc. People
starts to stand.

SHEPHERD
That's all right, you can keep your
seats. For the last couple of
months, Senator Rumson has suggested
that being president of this country
was, to a certain extent, about
character...

ANGLE - ROBIN

who's picked up the receiver from a wall phone and punches in
four numbers.

She turns in to the wall to shield her conversation from the
rest of the room.

ROBIN
(into phone)
Lewis...call A.J. and come on down
here...I don't know, but
something's happening.

SHEPHERD
...and although I have not been
willing to engage in his attacks on
me, I've been here three years and
three days, and I can tell you
without hesitation: Being President
of this country is entirely about
character.

LEWIS enters with A.J. and KODAK.

SHEPHERD
(continuing)
For the record: Yes, I am a card-
carrying member of the A.C.L.U. But
the more important question is why
aren't you, Bob? This is an
organization whose sole purpose is to
defend the Bill of Rights, so it
naturally begs the questions.

SHEPHERD
(continuing)
Why would a senator, his party's most
powerful spokesman and a candidate
for president, choose to reject
upholding the Constitution? If you
can answer that question, then,
folks, you're smarter than I am,
because I didn't understand it until
a couple of minutes ago. Everybody
knows American isn't easy. America is
advanced citizenship.

SHEPHERD
(continuing)
You gotta want it bad, 'cause it's
gonna put up a fight. It's gonna
say, "You want free speech? Let's
see you acknowledge a man whose words
make your blood boil, who's standing
center stage and advocating, at the
top of his lungs, that which you
would spend a lifetime opposing at the
top of yours. You want to claim
this land as the land of the free,
then the symbol of your country can't
just be a flag; the symbol also has
to be one of its citizens exercising
his right to burn that flag in
protest." Show me that, defend that,
celebrate that in your classrooms.
Then you can stand up and sing about
the land of the free. I've known Bob
Rumson for years. I've been operating
under the assumption that the reason
Bob devotes so much time and energy to
shouting at the rain was that he simply
didn't get it. Well, I was wrong.

SHEPHERD
(continuing)
Bob's problem isn't that he doesn't
get it. Bob's problem is that he
can't sell it. Nobody has ever won
an election by talking about what I
was just talking about.

SHEPHERD
(continuing)
This is a country made up of people
with hard jobs that they're terrified
of losing. The roots of freedom are
of little or no interest to them at
the moment. We are a nation afraid
to go out at night. We're a society
that has assigned low priority to
education and has looked the other
way while our public schools have
been decimated. We have serious
problems to solve, and we need
serious men to solve them. And
whatever your particular problem is,
friend, I promise you, Bob Rumson is
not the least bit interested in
solving it. He is interested in two
things and two things only: Making
you afraid of it and telling you
who's to blame for it. That, ladies
and gentlemen, is how you win
elections. You gather a group of
middle-aged, middle-class, middle-
income voters who remember with
longing an easier time, and you talk
to them about family and American
values and personal character. Then
you have an old photo of the
President's girlfriend. You scream
about patriotism and you tell them
she's to blame for their lot in life,
you go on television and you call her
a whore. Sydney Ellen Wade has done
nothing to you, Bob. She has done
nothing but put herself through law
school, prosecute criminals for five
years, represent the interests of
public school teachers for two years,
and lobby for the safety of our
natural resources.

SHEPHERD
(continuing)
You want a character debate? Fine,
but you better stick with me, 'cause
Sydney Ellen Wade is way out of your
league. I've loved two women in my
life. I lost one to cancer, and I
lost the other 'cause I was so busy
keeping my job I forgot to do my job.
Well that ends right now.

SHEPHERD
(continuing)
Tomorrow morning the White House is
sending a bill to Congress for its
consideration. It's White House
Resolution 455, an energy bill
requiring a 20 percent reduction of the
emission of fossil fuels over the
next ten years. It is by far the
most aggressive stride ever taken in
the fight to reverse the effects of
global warming. The other piece of
legislation is the crime bill. As of
today it no longer exists. I'm
throwing it out. I'm throwing it out
and writing a law that makes sense.
You cannot address crime prevention
without getting rid of assault
weapons and handguns.
I consider them a threat to national
security, and I will go door to door
if I have to, but I'm gonna convince
Americans that I'm right, and I'm
gonna get the guns. We've got
serous problems, and we need serious
men, and if you want to talk about
character, Bob, you'd better come at
me with more than a burning flag and
a membership card. If you want to
talk about character and American
values, fine. Just tell me where and
when, and I'll show up. This is a
time for serious men, Bob, and your
fifteen minutes are up. My name's
Andrew Shepherd, and I am the
President.

SHEPHERD exits the press room, leaving a stunned room in his
wake.


alasdair
 
I don't know what to say really.
Three minutes
to the biggest battle of our professional lives
all comes down to today.
Either
we heal
as a team
or we are going to crumble.
Inch by inch
play by play
till we're finished.
We are in hell right now, gentlemen
believe me
and
we can stay here
and get the shit kicked out of us
or
we can fight our way
back into the light.
We can climb out of hell.
One inch, at a time.

Now I can't do it for you.
I'm too old.
I look around and I see these young faces
and I think
I mean
I made every wrong choice a middle age man could make.
I uh....
I pissed away all my money
believe it or not.
I chased off
anyone who has ever loved me.
And lately,
I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror.

You know when you get old in life
things get taken from you.
That's, that's part of life.
But,
you only learn that when you start losing stuff.
You find out that life is just a game of inches.
So is football.
Because in either game
life or football
the margin for error is so small.
I mean
one half step too late or to early
you don't quite make it.
One half second too slow or too fast
and you don't quite catch it.
The inches we need are everywhere around us.
They are in ever break of the game
every minute, every second.

On this team, we fight for that inch
On this team, we tear ourselves, and everyone around us
to pieces for that inch.
We CLAW with our finger nails for that inch.
Cause we know
when we add up all those inches
that's going to make the fucking difference
between WINNING and LOSING
between LIVING and DYING.

I'll tell you this
in any fight
it is the guy who is willing to die
who is going to win that inch.
And I know
if I am going to have any life anymore
it is because, I am still willing to fight, and die for that inch
because that is what LIVING is.
The six inches in front of your face.

Now I can't make you do it.
You gotta look at the guy next to you.
Look into his eyes.
Now I think you are going to see a guy who will go that inch with you.
You are going to see a guy
who will sacrifice himself for this team
because he knows when it comes down to it,
you are gonna do the same thing for him.

That's a team, gentlemen
and either we heal now, as a team,
or we will die as individuals.
That's football guys.
That's all it is.
Now, whattaya gonna do?


ANY GIVEN SUNDAY
 
"We're all very different people,... we're not Watusi, we're not Spartans... we're Americans! With a capital A, huh?!? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the Wretched Refuse. We're the underdogs, we're mutts! Here's proof... his nose is cold. But there's no animal that's more faithful, that's more loyal, more loveable, than the mutt. Who saw "Old Yeller"? Who cried when Old Yeller got shot at the end? Nobody cried when Old yeller got shot, I'm sure. I cried my eyes out. So we're all dog-faces, we're all very very different... but there is one thing that we all have in common... we were all STUPID enough to enlist in the Army. We're mutants. There's something WRONG with us, something very very WRONG with us, something seriously wrong with us. We're soldiers,... but we're American soldiers! We been kickin' ass for 200 years! We're 10 and 1! Now... we don't have to worry about wether or not we practiced. We don't have to worry about wether Captain Stillman wants to have us hung, all we have to do-o-ooo... is be the great American fighting soldier-rrrrr... that is inside each one of us. Now do what I do,... and say what I say... and make me proud."

Bill Murray, aka John Winger
Stripes
 
Cliff: You know I read a lot. Especially things that have to do with history. I find that shit fascinating. In fact, I don't know if you know this or not, Sicilians were spawned by niggers.
Coccotti: Come again?
Cliff: It's a fact. Sicilians have nigger blood pumpin' through their hearts. If you don't believe me, look it up. You see, hundreds and hundreds of years ago the Moors conquered Sicily. And Moors are niggers. Way back then, Sicilians were like the wops in northern Italy. Blond hair, blue eyes. But, once the Moors moved in there, they changed the whole country. They did so much fuckin' with the Sicilian women, they changed the blood-line for ever, from blond hair and blue eyes to black hair and dark skin. I find it absolutely amazing to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, Sicilians still carry that nigger gene. I'm just quotin' history. It's a fact. It's written. Your ancestors were niggers. Your great, great, great, great, great-grandmother was fucked by a nigger, and had a half-nigger kid. That is a fact. Now tell me, am I lyin'?

Dennis Hopper from True Romance :)
 
Spalding Gray - Swimming to Cambodia

The entire movie is a monologue. Educational, funny, and well-written. I was lucky enough to see him perform before he got in that awful car wreck and killed himself.
 
I guess I'm a sucker for the lofty dreams of Mr. Jimmy Stewart:

From Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Just get up off the ground, that's all I ask. Get up there with that lady that's up on top of this Capitol dome, that lady that stands for liberty. Take a look at this country through her eyes if you really want to see something. And you won't just see scenery; you'll see the whole parade of what Man's carved out for himself, after centuries of fighting. Fighting for something better than just jungle law, fighting so's he can stand on his own two feet, free and decent, like he was created, no matter what his race, color, or creed. That's what you'd see. There's no place out there for graft, or greed, or lies, or compromise with human liberties. And, uh, if that's what the grownups have done with this world that was given to them, then we'd better get those boys' camps started fast and see what the kids can do. And it's not too late, because this country is bigger than the Taylors, or you, or me, or anything else. Great principles don't get lost once they come to light. They're right here; you just have to see them again!

It's A Wonderful Life
You sit around here and you spin your little webs and you think the whole world revolves around you and your money. Well, it doesn't, Mr. Potter. In the whole vast configuration of things, I'd say you were nothing but a scurvy little spider.

Another keeper... Earl from Magnolia
Yeah...So I go to her school for that for grade twelve...and we meet...she was fuckin...like a doll...porcelain doll...and the hips...child bearing hips...y'know that? So beautiful. But I didn't have sex with anyone, you know? I was not...I couldn't do anything...always scared, y'know... she was...she had some boyfriends...they liked her y'know...but I didn't like that.
I couldn't get over that I wasn't a man, but she was a woman. Y'see? Y'see I didn't make her feel ok about that....I would say, "How many men you been with?" She told me, I couldn't take it...take that I wasn't a man....because if I hadn't had sex with women...like as many women as she had men...then I was weak...a boy....
But I loved her...you understand? ....well, of course, I wanted to have sex with her...and I did and we were together....we met...age twelve, but then again...age seventeen...something, somethin...
I didn't let her forget that I thought she was a bad, a slut, a slut I would call her and hit her. I hit her for what she did...but we married...Lily and me and we married...but I cheated on her...over and over and over again...because I wanted to be a man and I couldn't let her be a woman...a smart, free person who was something...my mind then, so fuckin' stupid, so fuckin....jesus christ, what would I think...did I think....? ...for what I've done...She's my wife for thirty eight years...I went behind her... over and over...fucking asshole I am that I would go out and fuck and come home and get in her bed and say "I love you..." This is Jack's mother. His mother Lily...these two that I love and I lost .... and this is the regret that you make...the regret you make is the something that you take...blah...blah...blah... something, something.....
 
"I remember those cheers, they still ring in my ears and for years they remain in my thoughts. 'Cause one night I took off my robe and, what'd I do?, I forgot to wear shorts. I recall every fall, every hook, every jab, the worst way a guy can get rid of his flab. As you know my life was a jab, Though I'd rather hear you cheer when I delve into Shakespeare "A horse, A horse. My kingdom for a horse" I haven't had a winner in six months. And though I'm no Olivier, If he fought Sugar Ray he would say it the thing ain't the ring, its the play. So give me a stage, Where this Bull here could rage, And though I could fight I'd much rather recite: That's Entertainment."
-Raging Bull
 
That's right ... I've killed women and children. Killed just about everything that walks or crawls at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Little Bill, for what you did to Ned.
You'd better bury Ned right! You'd better not cut up nor otherwise harm no whores! Or I'll come back and kill every one of you sons of bitches.
All right now, I'm comin' out. Any man I see out there, I'm gonna kill 'im. Any sonofabitch takes a shot at me, I'm not only gonna kill him, I'm gonna kill his wife, all his friends. Burn his damn house down. Nobody better shoot.
CLINT EASTWOOD-'Unforgiven'
 
Yeah, it's a BL cliche'... but still one of the all-time best.

We had two bags of grass, seventy-
five pellets of mescaline, five
sheets of high powered blotter
acid, a salt shaker half full of
cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-
colored uppers, downers, screamers,
laughers... Also a quart of tequila,
a quart of rum, a case of beer, a
pint of raw ether and two dozen
amyls.

Not that we needed all that for the
trip, but once you get locked into
a serious drug collection, the
tendency is to push it as far as
you can.

The only thing that really worried
me was the ether. There is nothing
in the world more helpless and
irresponsible and depraved than a
man in the depths of an ether binge.
And I knew we'd get into that
rotten stuff pretty soon.
 
I originally posted Henry Fonda's famous quote from The Grapes of Wrath but saw that s2n already had. :)

From Patton:
Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.

Men, all this stuff you've heard about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans, traditionally, love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle.

When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big league ball players, the toughest boxers. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans.

Now, an army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday Evening Post don't know anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating.

Now, we have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit, and the best men in the world. You know, by God, I actually pity those poor bastards we're going up against. By God, I do. We're not just going to shoot the bastards. We're going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We're going to murder those lousy Hun bastards by the bushel.

Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken-out under fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Nazis are the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their blood. Shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do.
Now there's another thing I want you to remember. I don't want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. We're not holding anything. Let the Hun do that. We are advancing constantly and we're not interested in holding onto anything -- except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose, and we're gonna kick him in the ass. We're gonna kick the hell out of him all the time, and we're gonna go through him like crap through a goose!

Now, there's one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home -- and you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you're sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee, and he asks you, "What did you do in the great World War Two?" -- you won't have to say, "Well, I shoveled shit in Louisiana."

Alright now you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel.

Oh, I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle anytime, anywhere.

That's all.

General George Smith Patton, Jr: Address to the 3rd Army
 
Last edited:
Last nite….i had an incredible pain…. The pain was SOOO strong, that I took EVERY pill in the goddamn house…. The pain wouldn’t go away…so I TRIED to find an image to get me thru the pain…and all I could find was shit….. I started to remember when I was a kid … with my mother..my cheek againsts her breast…she smelled so sweet…I was just a kid…. Whats gonna happen to my dog?… your time will come……

Ivans XTC (danny huston)
 
Nash:
Thank you. I've always believed in numbers and the equations and logics that lead to reason.

But after a lifetime of such pursuits, I ask,
What truly is logic?
Who decides reason?

My quest has taken me through the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional -- and back.
And I have made the most important discovery of my career, the most important discovery of my life: It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logic or reasons can be found.

I'm only here tonight because of you [his wife, Alicia].
You are the reason I am.
You are all my reasons.
Thank you.


:) awwwww, that's my favorite one.
you can listen to Russell Crowe say it here:

http://www.americanrhetoric.com/MovieSpeeches/moviespeechabeautifulmind.html
 
"One of those no-neck monsters hit me with some ice cream. Their fat little heads sit on their fat little bodies without a bit of connection...you can't wring their necks if they got no necks to wring. Isn't that right, honey?...Think of it, they've got five monsters and number six comin' up."

- Elizabeth Taylor (Maggie the Cat), Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

(I also love this line from that movie: "I'm not living with you - we occupy the same cage, that's all.")


Also... ( I know, I know, but it's a classic):

"As God is my witness, as God is my witness, they're not going to lick me! I'm going to live through this, and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again - no, nor any of my folks! If I have to lie, steal, cheat, or kill! As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again."

-Scarlett O'Hara, Gone with The Wind.
 
Alright, I have an admittedly insane idea, but if I don't ask you this, it's just, uh, you know, its going to haunt me the rest of my life. I want to keep talking to you, y'know. I have no idea what your situation is, but, uh, but I feel like we have some kind of, uh, connection. Right? Yeah, right, well, great. So listen, so here's the deal. This is what we should do. You should get off the train with me here in Vienna, and come check out the town. Come on. It'll be fun. Come on. All I know is I have to catch an Austrian Airlines flight tomorrow morning at 9:30, and I don't really have enough money for a hotel, so I was just going to walk around, and it would be a lot more fun if you came with me. And if I turn out to be some kind of psycho, you know, you just get on the next train. Alright, alright. Think of it like this. Um, uh, jump ahead, ten, twenty years, okay, and you're married. Only your marriage doesn't have that same energy that it used to have, y'know. You start to blame your husband. You start to think about all those guys you've met in your life, and what might have happened if you'd picked up with one of them, right? Well, I'm one of those guys. That's me, y'know, so think of this as time travel, from then to now, uh, to find out what you're missing out on. See, what this really could be is a gigantic favor to both you and your future husband, to find out that you're not missing out on anything. I'm just as big a loser as he is, totally unmotivated, totally boring, and, uh, you made the right choice, and you're really happy.

From
"Before Sunrise".
 
A Jewish Barber(Charlie Chaplin): I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone, and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge as made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. The airplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men; cries out for universal brotherhood; for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say, do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish. Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you, enslave you; who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel! Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines, you are not cattle, you are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts! You don't hate! Only the unloved hate; the unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of St. Luke, it is written that the kingdom of God is within man, not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people, have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy, let us use that power. Let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfill that promise. They never will! Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfill that promise. Let us fight to free the world! To do away with national barriers! To do away with greed, with hate and intolerance! Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us all unite! Hannah, can you hear me? Wherever you are, look up Hannah! The clouds are lifting! The sun is breaking through! We are coming out of the darkness into the light! We are coming into a new world; a kindlier world, where men will rise above their hate, their greed, and brutality. Look up, Hannah! The soul of man has been given wings and at last he is beginning to fly. He is flying into the rainbow! Into the light of hope, into the future! The glorious future, that belongs to you, to me and to all of us. Look up, Hannah. Look up!

--The Great Dictator
 
Howard Beale(Peter Finch): I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's work, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it...All I know is that first you've got to get mad. (shouting) You've got to say, 'I'm a human being, god-dammit! My life has value!' So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!' I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell - 'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!'

--Network
 
Caine said:
Cliff: You know I read a lot. Especially things that have to do with history. I find that shit fascinating. In fact, I don't know if you know this or not, Sicilians were spawned by niggers.
Coccotti: Come again?
Cliff: It's a fact. Sicilians have nigger blood pumpin' through their hearts. If you don't believe me, look it up. You see, hundreds and hundreds of years ago the Moors conquered Sicily. And Moors are niggers. Way back then, Sicilians were like the wops in northern Italy. Blond hair, blue eyes. But, once the Moors moved in there, they changed the whole country. They did so much fuckin' with the Sicilian women, they changed the blood-line for ever, from blond hair and blue eyes to black hair and dark skin. I find it absolutely amazing to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, Sicilians still carry that nigger gene. I'm just quotin' history. It's a fact. It's written. Your ancestors were niggers. Your great, great, great, great, great-grandmother was fucked by a nigger, and had a half-nigger kid. That is a fact. Now tell me, am I lyin'?

Dennis Hopper from True Romance :)

ahhhhhhh i love this movie
 
from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory: this scared the FUCK out of me because I'd only seen this movie as a little kid and then forgotten about it...Marilyn Manson uses the below monologue for The Family Trip, and the next time I saw the movie it's from was while my brain was still a bit delicate after a big couple of nights out so when I heard this monologue it kind of freaked me out...and made me realise how dark that movie is.

There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing
Is it raining?
Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a-blowing?
Bleh!
Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of hell a glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes!
The danger must be growing
For the rowers keep on rowing
And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing!


Scary. 8o
 
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