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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

benzos...

this may be fitted better in a journal at this point? But I would really like to thank soulgasm and jl82 in particular for there general encouragement. 6.75 cPam. woot. Also I did not make it clear at the beginning of this thread that I DO NEED BENZOS. I do not seek to completely cease usage. Just abusage....if that makes sense. My doc keeps wavering between 3-4 mgs a day but whatever he goes with that is the end goal of my taper which intend to document somewhat from here on out as the END OF A TAPER really is the hardest part by miles IMO. (good god I couldn't imagine the PAWS i'd go through lol).
 
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You can use the thread like a mini journal. I think it is helpful to see your own progress, missteps, etc. We tend to forget when we don't keep some sort of record.

I couldn't help but feel nostalgic for some of the old posters in the part of your thread from 2015. people come through here and then disappear--good to hear from you and glad to hear you are still on track to reach your goal!<3
 
^ It was VERY nostalgic for me, I think I forgot about the thread amongst all the sleepless nights honestly and came back and read all of the loving good advice. Tried to give a little back. Haha I suppose 'the dark side' is one of those places people do come and go from, prolly good most of em get out of it though.
 
Herbavore, thank you for letting me keep this thread as a journal as well as a warning to others. Down to 6mg clonazepam a day and 1 Ativan every third day. Yea my taper system is not normal but it seems to be working. Plan to stay here for a month, dropping the Ativan in a 2 weeks than going down to 5.5 with an Ativan every third day. Will post when I'm there. Btw day 12 (I think) on 6mg a day. The first couple were hard but I compensated with medibles and some dabs. as well as maxing my suboxone dosage where I normally take a fraction. Also drank one night out of the 12. lyrica one other night.
 
So just to keep everyone up to date I am down to 4mg clam (I know still be scared, I AM) or about 6-7 mg cpam. 4-7 xanax (seems to work just as well)
 
Bath tub Benzos strike again! So I had some bouts with that stuff about 10+ years into an already nasty Benzo habit. In my opinion seek medical advice, I did. I was taking between 100-150mg clonaz daily and switched over to 120mg diazepam. It wasn't too bad. Long story short ended up going to jail cold turkey'd. Got out was still shaking and seizing. Started drinking and went on an 18mo nasty alcohol bing ultimately almost sending me to prison and landed my ass in treatment. Whatever you do. Please please do not drink alcohol curb the remaining withdrawals. It will only make things worse and you will swap one addiction for another.
 
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^okay now you and a trusted family member have told me that and of course anything that is a cns depressant or tickles the gabba receptors is going to be tempting. Thank you for the reinforcement of good advice, I will cut that straight out. The medical treatment around here is absurd, I literally don't know if I got cut off my klonopin or the nurse is just being lazy. It is straight malpractice. And could i get my buelighter status back? At one point i was researching around 70 mg a day and got damn use to it, than ive been tapering for 3 years now .....
 
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Making the cut to 3.5 mg a day tomorrow. BTW at this point I am still glad I didn't out myself to our local drug prison. Whoever was asking about what happens in the US if I were to seek solice, I can only tell you in my town. They would give me 10, 30 ativans ONE TIME tell me taper and if I showed back up theyd consider it drug seeking, than they'd call my doctor and I would get cut off my klonopin. Not saying the story is over but so far so blessed. (I will let you all know when tapering it seems like I am very successful until I hit my bottom #, which in this case seems to be 4mg with suboxone I can't get under 1mg. (tapered very quickly with fair ease but seems like I hit a wall at a certain point and than things get real tough. That is where I am now.)

let ya'll know 9 days from now if I made it.
 
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Wow, this is some long recovery. I'm curious, do you have a target date when you are down to zero?
I really hope you finish this thing and finally be free.
 
Thank you for the blessings. Unfortunately after a couple of family tragedies I am at ten-fifteen mg of clonazepam a day as eventually every stash runs out. Things are tough right now but I knew they were gunna be at some time. Yea by 2021 I want to be down to my prescription of 4 klonopins a day. Is very hard not to fluctuate up and than find yourself fighting for months to get back to where you started......without btc its suckin hard though.
 
Derschieber
Derschieber said:
Wow, this is some long recovery. I'm curious, do you have a target date when you are down to zero?
I really hope you finish this thing and finally be free.
Click to expand...

Yes I do originally it was going to be this august as I am looking to sell my house and move out of MI before winter this year. However, and no excuses, but it has been a very stressful year. I am now down to 3 miggy of clam a day. (still not great) but from starting at litererally 50-70 mgs a day idk 4 years ago.... But thank you for highlighting that point. This is a LONG LONG process. I'll prolly stay at 3 another few months than drop to 2.5 or one month and drop to 2.75. POINT BEING BENZOS ARE THE WORST ADDICTION, I've felt semi dopesick trying to quit this ish for 4 years now. So don't order a "lifetime supply" cuz it wont be...….imo. Had a friend that was even worse than me, starting selling it at bars. had to quit talking to him as the date rape potential was too hight. This is a scary substance I never shoulda dipped my greedy hands into. But it served its purpose and that's all we'll say about that.
 
Thank you guys, much appreciated. It is nothing glamorous certainly, my advice is stay away from that particular substance completely, it is a life eater forsure.
 
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