Detox Benzos: That time has arrived

[BenzoBrain3]

I’m glad I came across this thread.

Good to see/hear

Pretty much why I started this thread..so others will not do what I'm doing to my poor mind and body because the consequences are very bad

Nobody be trying this method that I chose. Ever.

The entire box of gravol was all taken within less than 5 minutes..finally the nausea has gone down somewhat but it will be back. I think 1 more tiny sip of alcohol will be all it takes. I mean I already posted about the LSD varient and the extremely bad reaction that followed and spending midnight until 6am throwing up. Just 1 little blotter..probably dosed a little higher than it should have been.

All because I ignored the rules about inexperienced hallucinogen use while being alone...nobody was coming back for a few days.

 

[BenzoBrain3]

Wizard or mods, please edit the part of that quote contains the self incriminating mail info

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

Good to see/hear

Pretty much why I started this thread..so others will not do what I'm doing to my poor mind and body because the consequences are very bad

Nobody be trying this method that I chose. Ever.

The entire box of gravol was all taken within less than 5 minutes..finally the nausea has gone down somewhat but it will be back. I think 1 more tiny sip of alcohol will be all it takes. I mean I already posted about the LSD varient and the extremely bad reaction that followed and spending midnight until 6am throwing up. Just 1 little blotter..probably dosed a little higher than it should have been.

All because I ignored the rules about inexperienced hallucinogen use while being alone...nobody was coming back for a few days.

I've been going to through a lot of shit lately, excuse my French, I'm prescribed Klonopin .05 mg twice a day for anxiety and panic attacks, for about two years now, the doctor hasn't increased my dose, so it's basically not doing much, I'm also prescribed Ambiem CR for sleep, and that is starting to not have effect, I'm having to pop two doxcylamines Unisom together for it to make me drowsy. I'm afraid to ask my doctor to increase my dosage, as nowadays Doctor's will think you're trying to get meds to get high, though I don't have that history, I'm just afraid to ask him to increase my dose, because of the possibility of him cutting me off all together.

So I started to take Etizolam along with the klonopin. so I don't run out of Klonopin, this is just to keep my nerves calm as I stress and worry about everything in life, I started to cut back but can feel the anxiety coming on quicker, sometimes I don't want to leave the house I get so depressed.

I don't know what to do?

 

[Blankenstein]

I've been going to through a lot of shit lately, excuse my French, I'm prescribed Klonopin .05 mg twice a day for anxiety and panic attacks, for about two years now, the doctor hasn't increased my dose, so it's basically not doing much, I'm also prescribed Ambiem CR for sleep, and that is starting to not have effect, I'm having to pop two doxcylamines Unisom together for it to make me drowsy. I'm afraid to ask my doctor to increase my dosage, as nowadays Doctor's will think you're trying to get meds to get high, though I don't have that history, I'm just afraid to ask him to increase my dose, because of the possibility of him cutting me off all together.

So I started to take Etizolam along with the klonopin. so I don't run out of Klonopin, this is just to keep my nerves calm as I stress and worry about everything in life, I started to cut back but can feel the anxiety coming on quicker, sometimes I don't want to leave the house I get so depressed.

I don't know what to do?

I feel for you man...

You don’t have to answer this question, but what were you first scripted the clonazepam for? Is whatever it was that you were scripted them for still an issue? Or have you just continued to take them and now tolerance has set in and you need more?

I hope I don’t sound rude/insensitive, just trying to understand your situation?

If the original thing they were prescribed for isn’t so much of an issue maybe tapering off even though it won’t be pleasant will be beneficial in the long run (once again sorry if I’m barking up the wrong tree).

do you see a psychologist/therapist and to try to work through your issues that require you to take benzos?

Also I can relate, I’m hesitant to ask my dr for an increase in my Valium as I don’t want to be cut off, though to be honest that would probably be better for me in the long run...

also I hope OP is doing going well, sounds like a hectic detox. Thinking of you buddy.

 

[BenzoBrain3]

I've been going to through a lot of shit lately, excuse my French, I'm prescribed Klonopin .05 mg twice a day for anxiety and panic attacks, for about two years now, the doctor hasn't increased my dose, so it's basically not doing much, I'm also prescribed Ambiem CR for sleep, and that is starting to not have effect, I'm having to pop two doxcylamines Unisom together for it to make me drowsy. I'm afraid to ask my doctor to increase my dosage, as nowadays Doctor's will think you're trying to get meds to get high, though I don't have that history, I'm just afraid to ask him to increase my dose, because of the possibility of him cutting me off all together.

So I started to take Etizolam along with the klonopin. so I don't run out of Klonopin, this is just to keep my nerves calm as I stress and worry about everything in life, I started to cut back but can feel the anxiety coming on quicker, sometimes I don't want to leave the house I get so depressed.

I don't know what to do?

Try getting a top quality scale so you can use a longer acting research benzo instead of the etizolam. Probably cost you 1000$ and you may have to do a very long slow taper. Sometimes it takes people 6 months+

But that scale is a must unfortunately because a lot of these research benzos are more potent than any benzos approved for medical use. I think etizolam is the only one thatisn't.

 

[BenzoBrain3]

Holy shit, had my first seizure and thank God it happened in front of 4 different people. I guess it was a big one too, lips turning blue and foaming at the mouth, only thing moving were my eyes. My roommates bf was the only one who could get me off my back and onto my side.

I had literally just been discharged from the ER 30 minutes earlier. I'm the one who called for the ambulance myself because I was feeling impending doom.

But if I was alone when that seizure happened....

It looks like it happened because of the huge amount of long acting gravol I consumed before the first trip. This time they wouldn't let me just walk out. Or else they would have called the police to bring me back. Finally was able to leave around 1AM this morning.

But later today I'm going into a detox facility for 3 days then discharged as an outpatient with more than 20mg diazepam daily.

 

[Blankenstein]

That’s horrible mate. Very lucky your friends were there! I hope the detox helps. What’s the doctors plan with the Valium script? Are they tapering it down?

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

I feel for you man...

You don’t have to answer this question, but what were you first scripted the clonazepam for? Is whatever it was that you were scripted them for still an issue? Or have you just continued to take them and now tolerance has set in and you need more?

I hope I don’t sound rude/insensitive, just trying to understand your situation?

If the original thing they were prescribed for isn’t so much of an issue maybe tapering off even though it won’t be pleasant will be beneficial in the long run (once again sorry if I’m barking up the wrong tree).

do you see a psychologist/therapist and to try to work through your issues that require you to take benzos?

Also I can relate, I’m hesitant to ask my dr for an increase in my Valium as I don’t want to be cut off, though to be honest that would probably be better for me in the long run...

also I hope OP is doing going well, sounds like a hectic detox. Thinking of you buddy.

I was prescribed Klonopin for anxiety and panic attacks, yes it's still an issue and my anxiety has gotten worse.

I've been thinking about seeing a psychologist/therapist there are days I wake up that the anxiety pain in my chest is so heavy I don't want to go to work, and feel like my coworkers are judgmental towards me and think I'm stupid, though I'm thinking this is all in my mind and I'm just getting more paranoid.

Thank you for asking and being concerned.

 

[Blankenstein]

I was prescribed Klonopin for anxiety and panic attacks, yes it's still an issue and my anxiety has gotten worse.

I've been thinking about seeing a psychologist/therapist there are days I wake up that the anxiety pain in my chest is so heavy I don't want to go to work, and feel like my coworkers are judgmental towards me and think I'm stupid, though I'm thinking this is all in my mind and I'm just getting more paranoid.

Thank you for asking and being concerned.

So sorry to hear that mate . I think I can relate to some of your issues. I’ve had issues with anxiety (and depression I suppose) to varying degrees. At my worst i stopped Going to work and drank nonstop for a while until my family took me to the emergency room at crisis point. I was put in a mental health ward for a couple of weeks.

I was already using benzos and after this “episode” I was put on seroquel and Lexapro as well. I weened myself off the Lexapro and Seroquel after several months. This wasn’t an enjoyable period of my life.

I don’t take benzos daily but still am a frequent user.

i was recommended a fantastic psychologist by a friend who I have seen on a off for several years. I first saw her years before the episode I mentioned and then started seeing her again after I got out of hospital. I have found it very beneficial.

so yeh... just wanted to share this to let you know there are plenty of people out there battling similar things and you aren’t alone.

take care mate. I’m thinking of you.

also am thinking of @BenzoBrain3 Sounds fucking tough man, hope your detox/taper plan goes well. Keep on trying man.

 

[Blankenstein]

I was prescribed Klonopin for anxiety and panic attacks, yes it's still an issue and my anxiety has gotten worse.

I've been thinking about seeing a psychologist/therapist there are days I wake up that the anxiety pain in my chest is so heavy I don't want to go to work, and feel like my coworkers are judgmental towards me and think I'm stupid, though I'm thinking this is all in my mind and I'm just getting more paranoid.

Thank you for asking and being concerned.

Also all that stuff about your co-workers being judgemental and thinking you’re are stupid. This is bullshit and totally as you have thought is definitely all in your head. I’ve been there before as well and so have many many people. Don’t let it get you down. You will work your way through it and come out the other side.

 

[BenzoBrain3]

That’s horrible mate. Very lucky your friends were there! I hope the detox helps. What’s the doctors plan with the Valium script? Are they tapering it down?

I came back early when I found out I would be leaving without any Valium. Felt like I would just be wasting my time staying until Monday. There's no way I would have stayed longer. And I wasn't going for a taper where I'm still getting tremors, anxiety, and paranoia before the first dose decrease. Don't really feel like increasing my chances of protracted withdrawals. They said I'd be getting 80mg daily so I assumed that meant during waking hours. But nope, it was over a full 24 hour period. They woke me up in the middle of the night just to give me 10mg. They only gave me 20mg when I first got there because my pulse was extremely high over 220.

I've got some gabapentin to protect against another seizure, and Haldol to help with sleep. It's my favorite anti psychotic as it helps with sleep and agitation without that Serotonin blockade and wanting to eat every carb in sight. Hopefully I can get the injectable version.

But I'm still thinking about my first seizure and it was a grand mal of all things. Took 10 minutes for the paramedics to arrive and I was still convulsing. Finally came to after getting pure oxygen.

Nurse kept saying it was the gravol but that's bullshit, it was the 6 days of sleep deprivation, dehydration&electrolyte disturbances, and the benzo withdrawals all mixed together. Didn't help that my blood alcohol levels were very low.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Well, this thread answers 2 questions for me:

1) Why I will not try another taper at age 40 after being on benzos from age of 20 and had few unsuccessful tapers.

2) Why I am working hard to create a big stash of diazepam. ~4500mg in 10mg and 5mg tablets stashed thus far and locked in the safe.

I will work on making stash of clonazepam also and try not to go above 30mg daily of diazepam. But after 20 years on them 30mg does nothing.

I wish you best of luck @BenzoBrain3 . You are playing with fire. But I understand you. If I wasn't a parent I would stop the benzos and see if I live or not. I can see how somebody, even with a supply can get to that point. Being a parent changes things but on my bad days I still have an urge to throw away all my stash and not take any benzo no more. I think BL community would telepathically kill me if they found out how much benzos and opioids (including old OCs) i have thrown down the toilet. But guess that is the reason I am live and off opioids.

But back to the thread. Hope you get benzos you need @BenzoBrain3 and you see the other side without damaged CNS. I am cheering for you!

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

Also all that stuff about your co-workers being judgemental and thinking you’re are stupid. This is bullshit and totally as you have thought is definitely all in your head. I’ve been there before as well and so have many many people. Don’t let it get you down. You will work your way through it and come out the other side.

So sorry to hear that mate . I think I can relate to some of your issues. I’ve had issues with anxiety (and depression I suppose) to varying degrees. At my worst i stopped Going to work and drank nonstop for a while until my family took me to the emergency room at crisis point. I was put in a mental health ward for a couple of weeks.

I was already using benzos and after this “episode” I was put on seroquel and Lexapro as well. I weened myself off the Lexapro and Seroquel after several months. This wasn’t an enjoyable period of my life.

I don’t take benzos daily but still am a frequent user.

i was recommended a fantastic psychologist by a friend who I have seen on a off for several years. I first saw her years before the episode I mentioned and then started seeing her again after I got out of hospital. I have found it very beneficial.

so yeh... just wanted to share this to let you know there are plenty of people out there battling similar things and you aren’t alone.

take care mate. I’m thinking of you.

also am thinking of @BenzoBrain3 Sounds fucking tough man, hope your detox/taper plan goes well. Keep on trying man.

Also all that stuff about your co-workers being judgemental and thinking you’re are stupid. This is bullshit and totally as you have thought is definitely all in your head. I’ve been there before as well and so have many many people. Don’t let it get you down. You will work your way through it and come out the other side.

Thanks for the encouraging words brother, they mean a lot to me and make me feel good inside, I will be looking for a psychologist online today, one that accepts my insurance and hopefully is is good, I've had a couple in the past that I felt were there just to make money off of me, almost like they were performing for an acting job.

Stay safe and healthy my friend.

 

[Blankenstein]

Thanks for the encouraging words brother, they mean a lot to me and make me feel good inside, I will be looking for a psychologist online today, one that accepts my insurance and hopefully is is good, I've had a couple in the past that I felt were there just to make money off of me, almost like they were performing for an acting job.

Stay safe and healthy my friend.

No worries mate. Good to hear. Good luck with it!

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

No worries mate. Good to hear. Good luck with it!

Thank you my friend, stay safe and healthy.

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

What’s the best way to decrease your intake of Benzos? I contacted a clinical psychologist and left a nesssge, I just need help in how to deal with everyday life, I’m suppose to take .05 of klonopin twice a day as needed, now I’m taking four just to get past the feeling of dread. And Ambien 12.5mg CR, my body has gotten use to that dosage and I don’t sleep well.

 

[BenzoBrain3]

Well, this thread answers 2 questions for me:

1) Why I will not try another taper at age 40 after being on benzos from age of 20 and had few unsuccessful tapers.

2) Why I am working hard to create a big stash of diazepam. ~4500mg in 10mg and 5mg tablets stashed thus far and locked in the safe.

I will work on making stash of clonazepam also and try not to go above 30mg daily of diazepam. But after 20 years on them 30mg does nothing.

I wish you best of luck @BenzoBrain3 . You are playing with fire. But I understand you. If I wasn't a parent I would stop the benzos and see if I live or not. I can see how somebody, even with a supply can get to that point. Being a parent changes things but on my bad days I still have an urge to throw away all my stash and not take any benzo no more. I think BL community would telepathically kill me if they found out how much benzos and opioids (including old OCs) i have thrown down the toilet. But guess that is the reason I am live and off opioids.

But back to the thread. Hope you get benzos you need @BenzoBrain3 and you see the other side without damaged CNS. I am cheering for you!

Thank you as well as everyone else who has supported me so far.

What I'm really hoping for is a consistent supply of gabapentin and/or lyrica because I am scared of another fucking seizure because this time I won't be so lucky to have 4 people witness it and immediately call 911 and prevent me from choking on my own tongue. Feels like I've got a broken rib because I slammed backwards into a bunch of shit when it happened.

I am aware of the potential for a dependency to these anti convulsant meds but I highly doubt it would happen from taking 600mgish per day. 6 months daily use minimum.

I mean it took 14 weeks for the benzo withdrawals to show up. It's unironic I was feeling pleased that I had went that long when out of nowhere one day I get a big anxiety spike and my thoughts and heart start racing. Then the confusion set in.

Seizing 30 mins after getting out of the ER is crazy especially when my ride picked me up and we started talking about grand mal seizures...

I'm very wary about fat intake increasing bioavailability. Because I have no choice but to take Haldol to force myself to sleep. Weight gain risk is less than the 2nd generation meds but they still decrease insulin resistance. My psychiatrist better prescribe more metformin if my weight starts creeping up again. I still haven't gotten rid of the olanzapine weight gain.

I also have no choice but to start taking my own vitals to keep an eye on that blood pressure and pulse.

As of now it looks like I'll be on 300mg gabapentin daily, 20mg diazepam daily, and 3-5mg Haldol daily. I feel I have no choice but to consume some alcohol to manage the hyper active brain activity.

 

[BenzoBrain3]

What’s the best way to decrease your intake of Benzos? I contacted a clinical psychologist and left a nesssge, I just need help in how to deal with everyday life, I’m suppose to take .05 of klonopin twice a day as needed, now I’m taking four just to get past the feeling of dread. And Ambien 12.5mg CR, my body has gotten use to that dosage and I don’t sleep well.

Unfortunately, a lot of people need a long, slow little taper over many months. Like diazepam getting decreased by 2.5mg per week and some people have to do even less. Opiate withdrawals are absolute hell but they still can't do the things that benzos and alcohol can.

Try getting script for lyrica or gabapentin, they have done some amazing things when it comes to gabaergic drug withdrawals.

Internet Scientific Publications

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

Unfortunately, a lot of people need a long, slow little taper over many months. Like diazepam getting decreased by 2.5mg per week and some people have to do even less. Opiate withdrawals are absolute hell but they still can't do the things that benzos and alcohol can.

Try getting script for lyrica or gabapentin, they have done some amazing things when it comes to gabaergic drug withdrawals.

Internet Scientific Publications

The drug laws are so stupid, letting people suffer from pain not prescribing pain meds because they're afraid of people getting addicted, when they are only make the drug dealers richer, same goes for mental health patients, I'm afraid to ask my Doctor to increase my dosage of benzos, after being on the samedosage for almost two years, don't they know they have to increase it that your body gets use to it? I've been trying to taper off these benzos to get back to my normal dosage, I also have to take sleep medication, and even that's not helping anymore. I've been taking the same dose for almost two years as well.

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

Thank you as well as everyone else who has supported me so far.

What I'm really hoping for is a consistent supply of gabapentin and/or lyrica because I am scared of another fucking seizure because this time I won't be so lucky to have 4 people witness it and immediately call 911 and prevent me from choking on my own tongue. Feels like I've got a broken rib because I slammed backwards into a bunch of shit when it happened.

I am aware of the potential for a dependency to these anti convulsant meds but I highly doubt it would happen from taking 600mgish per day. 6 months daily use minimum.

I mean it took 14 weeks for the benzo withdrawals to show up. It's unironic I was feeling pleased that I had went that long when out of nowhere one day I get a big anxiety spike and my thoughts and heart start racing. Then the confusion set in.

Seizing 30 mins after getting out of the ER is crazy especially when my ride picked me up and we started talking about grand mal seizures...

I'm very wary about fat intake increasing bioavailability. Because I have no choice but to take Haldol to force myself to sleep. Weight gain risk is less than the 2nd generation meds but they still decrease insulin resistance. My psychiatrist better prescribe more metformin if my weight starts creeping up again. I still haven't gotten rid of the olanzapine weight gain.

I also have no choice but to start taking my own vitals to keep an eye on that blood pressure and pulse.

As of now it looks like I'll be on 300mg gabapentin daily, 20mg diazepam daily, and 3-5mg Haldol daily. I feel I have no choice but to consume some alcohol to manage the hyper active brain activity.

Hope you get better BenzoBrain3, I'm wishing you the best and will have you in my thoughts brother.