Oh that's rough, I at least can work and I try to force myself to go outside for walks and bike rides on my days off because I get very crazy and depressed if I stay in the house all the time. How do you support yourself without working?
I also have sexual issues, significant loss of sex drive but one of my biggest issues is just the inability to really connect with people. I generally feel like I only relate to people on a surface level, while on the inside I am hiding a tremendous amount of pain, trauma and weirdness that I just can't let other people see. During dark years of my life where I was struggling with benzo withdrawal, opioid dependence, heavy psychedelic drug abuse and isolation, I became sociopathic which is the opposite of my normal empathic personality. My heart always remained good for some reason, but my mind went dark. The goodness in my heart restrained my mind from acting out its dark fantasies and so although I generally still treat others in a kind and considerate way, this comes out of my heart only and in my mind I am unable to form a genuine emotional bond. As a result I've given up hope of ever having a girlfriend or any sort of meaningful relationships, which makes for a very lonely existence as I struggle on my own with declining health and very little purpose for living.