Benzo long term effects, whats the point? This isn't worth it anymore.

[Hector]

Actually, please delete this. I'm embarassed and ashamed. I feel terrible and i don't forsee my outlook changing soon. I am proactive in groups which is helping but i'll stop here because no one will read this. Thank god for blogs and friends.

 

[Hector]

I fully admit my OP came across as aggressive, i was relatively drunk and perhaps thats's the reason people weren't willing to offer me help or advice. I don't know why, i'm like everyone else on here and i need help but it seems that's given to those who are perhaps regulars and therefore more popular.

Thanks to those who spent the time to read my thoughts/mini rant and it's unfortunate no one could offer me support or point me to an appropriate organisation. I feel lost and hopeless and i've had enough. I probably sound really bitter too but who cares right?

 

[herbavore]

I'm not sure what your post said before you edited it so I will just respond to your second post. What groups are you already attending? Sometimes, it can take a while for people to respond--especially when you are from the UK or Europe because I think the majority of BL is from North America and most of us are asleep when you are awake. I remember when I made my first thread on BL and I felt really discouraged as I saw the "views" were at almost 100 people without a single response. As it turned out I did get support but it took a while--just the nature of a forum I think.

As far as an appropriate organization, have you ever looked into Smart Recovery? There are very few meetings (in my experience of seeking them out locally) but there are online meetings. Smart Recovery is not necessarily an abstinence based program--they leave that choice up to you.

Are you on benzos by prescription for anxiety? Ironically, the benzos themselves, even without abusing the script may be contributing over time to you feeling "lost and hopeless". I have struggled with deep anxiety for most of the first part of my life. I credit age and practical mental work like CBT and mindfulness with finally stepping outside the fear-state that seemed to be my default. Have you ever tried anything to address the roots of your anxiety? Any kind of specific therapy?

 

[Hector]

Thanks for your response herbavore I'm in a bit of a mess really with benzo's and alcohol. I'm an addict and fully realise that and I've caused a lot of distress to my family, in fact i called for an ambulance becaue i wanted to end it all. I am on benzo's but not prescribed but they seem to be the only things that help with my anxieity, however i know it's a slippery slope and i know in my heart of hearts it's only going to make things worse the more i take them. I'm also looking into getting prescribed a drug that makes you sick when you drink. Perhaps that will positive step!

I'm a part of a mental health group because i struggle with that and i keep in touch with my NA friends although i find it hard to wrap my head around. I have also been doing relaxation classes. I will look into SMART as something else to try.

Thanks again.

 

[herbavore]

It sounds like you are actually being very proactive. I'm a big fan of cafeteria-style living--take what you want, a little from here, a little from there. As long as your goal is a healthy, balanced, compassionate life and all your strategies are focused on that goal, the way forward can be as much exciting adventure as it is difficult struggle. Be patient and accepting of yourself while at the same time gently pushing and encouraging.