Benzo Cold Turkey to death

[delphinen]

Hello.
I have been addicted to benzodiazepines for the last 7~8 years; since the beginning of this year, I have taken moderate doses of Tramadol (Tramal), Carisoprodol (SOMA), Pregabalin (Lyrica), and huge doses of Lorazepam/Clonazepam, but, I want to emphazise that the only kind of drug I have not been able to stop, has been GABA reuptake modifiers, meaning, mostly benzos.

For the last 2 weeks I have gone cold turkey on ALL meds. I spent 2 whole weeks almost without eating anything, lying on bed, suffering a mental breakdown. It was horrible... I don't know how is hell, but it can't be worse than experiencing the death of memories, skills, and thinking, while being alive.
I was so depressed that I stopped caring and tried to die. I also became paranoid on many things, about aliens, political issues, etc.

I can write all of this because 2 days ago I was interned because I lost close to 5 kg in 2 weeks. I was shaking and in fear of everything, and the worst not being able to remember basic thing like the streets where I live.

In the hospital I was given milk with some vitamin based bread, together with 2,5mg of Lorazepam and 75mg of Pregabalin. A month ago I used to take 10mg of Clonazepam to put things in perspective. I was able to sleep for a couple of hours. I stayed for 24hs as a intern and was monitored.
Immediately I began remembering old things that I have forgotten, like words of foreign languages, name of streets, basics of morality, etc. I began thinking SUPER clearly, much more than I remember, although memories were still a problem. I lost my phone because of this, a new Samsung Galaxy that I don't know if it was stolen or what. Because of this I became very paranoid.

Yesterday I was given the option to continue the treatment as an outside patient because I have 30 years and my family basically signed up that I am on my own.
I was given some Pregabalin in order to prevent seizures (I am prone to grand mal petit seizures), 10mg Diazepam (I asked in particular this so the drug would last longer in my bloodstream), and some VENLAFAXINE (Effexor).
All I can explain that I was able to sleep in my house but I woke up with a very fast heartbeat, not remembering if all the whole thing had been a dream or not- basically, it was difficult to differentiate reality from dreams, a HORRIBLE sensation, that I didn't experience so strong before.

I am slowly starting to eat well again, this morning I drank some tea with a 75mg Pregabalin (Lyrica) and I am going to the hospital in some hours. What should I tell the doctors?

Thanks in advance.

 

[BurritoJimmy]

If you don't know if your whole ordeal was dream or reality then you need to tell your doctor this. You really should be inpatient somewhere until they can get you to where you know what reality is.

 

[Parabolan]

U should definitely talk to ur doctor about this

 

[Keif' Richards]

What I see, Delphinen, is what I would call a comedy of errors. I've been following your story for a few months now, watching your intake and dependence grow slowly over time. For a while, you were giving us intermittent reports on the substances that you were taking, but I didn't realize your Benzodiazepine intake was so high. If you don't mind my asking, how were you acquiring such high quantities of these drugs? It's an important question for when we try to approach the best way for you to taper and withdraw.

At any rate, immediately stopping your intake of these drugs completely is not what you want to do. Your case is probably going to require fairly close medical supervision. Are you prone to seizures outside of your use of these drugs or are the seizures being provoked by them?

I think you should definitely be in-patient considering what you've told us about your intake and how you feel. If you're prone to seizures, you definitely need to be in-patient. All of these different substances have an effect upon the seizure threshold, from the Tramadol (Ultram) to the Venlafaxine (Effexor), to the obvious Benzodiazepines.

I can tell you that no reasonable prescriber is going to write you for 10mg of Clonazepam per day, even if it makes sense clinically based upon your intake. If you want to access this level of Benzodiazepines, you're most likely going to need to be in-patient, where the medical staff can monitor your vital signs and decide based upon your physiological state, just how much medication you need.

 

[T. Calderone]

Were you prone to seizures before you went cold turkey off all your medications? Make sure to tell the doctor the sensations that you're experiencing and be honest about the dosage of clonazepam you were taking. They may have to adjust your meds because some can change a person's seizure threshold.

 

[delphinen]

Thanks for the input guys, in this times of extreme solitude, a simple reply can do a lot -even if it sounds a little cringy for those reading this thread.

[QUOTE="Keif' Richards"
] how were you acquiring such high quantities of these drugs? It's an important question for when we try to approach the best way for you to taper and withdraw.

At any rate, immediately stopping your intake of these drugs completely is not what you want to do. Your case is probably going to require fairly close medical supervision. Are you prone to seizures outside of your use of these drugs or are the seizures being provoked by them?[/QUOTE]

My dad was a doctor and had lots of papers, I also worked with him as a side job maintaining some websites of him. Before he passed away, he would give me some pills occasionally, and I would buy more illegal drugs. After he passed away I fell into a big state of depression and began my treatment as an outside patient, but I always would have access to make scripts or buy benzos, Tramadol, or Codeine in shady pharmacies.

If I have to give my honest opinion, I don't think I am prone to seizures, because my first convulsion was triggered by mixing Tramadol and Codeine (I have no idea of the dosage because it was like 6 years ago or so), and I was already taking high doses of strong benzos (Flunitrazepam).


This morning I was given 150mg of Pregabalin, 10mg Diazepam, 75mg of Venlafaxine (which I didn't take), and a little pill that I don't know what it is so I didn't take it. The team that attended me said it was possible I could have some kind of brain damage, so they will give me an order to have an electroencephalogram this week. When I got home I had a nice lunch and I slept all afternoon. I woke up pretty late a little nervous but a lot better. I need to something to keep a steady life, I need to stop being scared of making too much noise in my apartment and/or being paranoid about a lot of things

Thanks again for the replies.

 

[Runningfox]

Prayers going up for your safety, OP. Strength & peace. Honesty is best -- don't sugarcoat any of it . Tell the medical staff everything now that you've got your foot in the door of some real Help.
Take care-- keep us posted.
We care. --- Fox

 

[Speed King]

What I see, Delphinen, is what I would call a comedy of errors. I've been following your story for a few months now, watching your intake and dependence grow slowly over time. For a while, you were giving us intermittent reports on the substances that you were taking, but I didn't realize your Benzodiazepine intake was so high. If you don't mind my asking, how were you acquiring such high quantities of these drugs? It's an important question for when we try to approach the best way for you to taper and withdraw.

At any rate, immediately stopping your intake of these drugs completely is not what you want to do. Your case is probably going to require fairly close medical supervision. Are you prone to seizures outside of your use of these drugs or are the seizures being provoked by them?

I think you should definitely be in-patient considering what you've told us about your intake and how you feel. If you're prone to seizures, you definitely need to be in-patient. All of these different substances have an effect upon the seizure threshold, from the Tramadol (Ultram) to the Venlafaxine (Effexor), to the obvious Benzodiazepines.

I can tell you that no reasonable prescriber is going to write you for 10mg of Clonazepam per day, even if it makes sense clinically based upon your intake. If you want to access this level of Benzodiazepines, you're most likely going to need to be in-patient, where the medical staff can monitor your vital signs and decide based upon your physiological state, just how much medication you need.

Must say, well put.