delphinen
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2007
- Messages
- 991
Hello.
I have been addicted to benzodiazepines for the last 7~8 years; since the beginning of this year, I have taken moderate doses of Tramadol (Tramal), Carisoprodol (SOMA), Pregabalin (Lyrica), and huge doses of Lorazepam/Clonazepam, but, I want to emphazise that the only kind of drug I have not been able to stop, has been GABA reuptake modifiers, meaning, mostly benzos.
For the last 2 weeks I have gone cold turkey on ALL meds. I spent 2 whole weeks almost without eating anything, lying on bed, suffering a mental breakdown. It was horrible... I don't know how is hell, but it can't be worse than experiencing the death of memories, skills, and thinking, while being alive.
I was so depressed that I stopped caring and tried to die. I also became paranoid on many things, about aliens, political issues, etc.
I can write all of this because 2 days ago I was interned because I lost close to 5 kg in 2 weeks. I was shaking and in fear of everything, and the worst not being able to remember basic thing like the streets where I live.
In the hospital I was given milk with some vitamin based bread, together with 2,5mg of Lorazepam and 75mg of Pregabalin. A month ago I used to take 10mg of Clonazepam to put things in perspective. I was able to sleep for a couple of hours. I stayed for 24hs as a intern and was monitored.
Immediately I began remembering old things that I have forgotten, like words of foreign languages, name of streets, basics of morality, etc. I began thinking SUPER clearly, much more than I remember, although memories were still a problem. I lost my phone because of this, a new Samsung Galaxy that I don't know if it was stolen or what. Because of this I became very paranoid.
Yesterday I was given the option to continue the treatment as an outside patient because I have 30 years and my family basically signed up that I am on my own.
I was given some Pregabalin in order to prevent seizures (I am prone to grand mal petit seizures), 10mg Diazepam (I asked in particular this so the drug would last longer in my bloodstream), and some VENLAFAXINE (Effexor).
All I can explain that I was able to sleep in my house but I woke up with a very fast heartbeat, not remembering if all the whole thing had been a dream or not- basically, it was difficult to differentiate reality from dreams, a HORRIBLE sensation, that I didn't experience so strong before.
I am slowly starting to eat well again, this morning I drank some tea with a 75mg Pregabalin (Lyrica) and I am going to the hospital in some hours. What should I tell the doctors?
Thanks in advance.
I have been addicted to benzodiazepines for the last 7~8 years; since the beginning of this year, I have taken moderate doses of Tramadol (Tramal), Carisoprodol (SOMA), Pregabalin (Lyrica), and huge doses of Lorazepam/Clonazepam, but, I want to emphazise that the only kind of drug I have not been able to stop, has been GABA reuptake modifiers, meaning, mostly benzos.
For the last 2 weeks I have gone cold turkey on ALL meds. I spent 2 whole weeks almost without eating anything, lying on bed, suffering a mental breakdown. It was horrible... I don't know how is hell, but it can't be worse than experiencing the death of memories, skills, and thinking, while being alive.
I was so depressed that I stopped caring and tried to die. I also became paranoid on many things, about aliens, political issues, etc.
I can write all of this because 2 days ago I was interned because I lost close to 5 kg in 2 weeks. I was shaking and in fear of everything, and the worst not being able to remember basic thing like the streets where I live.
In the hospital I was given milk with some vitamin based bread, together with 2,5mg of Lorazepam and 75mg of Pregabalin. A month ago I used to take 10mg of Clonazepam to put things in perspective. I was able to sleep for a couple of hours. I stayed for 24hs as a intern and was monitored.
Immediately I began remembering old things that I have forgotten, like words of foreign languages, name of streets, basics of morality, etc. I began thinking SUPER clearly, much more than I remember, although memories were still a problem. I lost my phone because of this, a new Samsung Galaxy that I don't know if it was stolen or what. Because of this I became very paranoid.
Yesterday I was given the option to continue the treatment as an outside patient because I have 30 years and my family basically signed up that I am on my own.
I was given some Pregabalin in order to prevent seizures (I am prone to grand mal petit seizures), 10mg Diazepam (I asked in particular this so the drug would last longer in my bloodstream), and some VENLAFAXINE (Effexor).
All I can explain that I was able to sleep in my house but I woke up with a very fast heartbeat, not remembering if all the whole thing had been a dream or not- basically, it was difficult to differentiate reality from dreams, a HORRIBLE sensation, that I didn't experience so strong before.
I am slowly starting to eat well again, this morning I drank some tea with a 75mg Pregabalin (Lyrica) and I am going to the hospital in some hours. What should I tell the doctors?
Thanks in advance.