Been Obsessing Over Psychedelics for the Past Couple of Months What Could/Should I Do

[Healing_Sensai]

Ok, so just as a reference point, I'm 29 and had my first trip when I was 19. Last time I tripped was 2016 which means that I tripped for roughly 8 years (Spaced the trips out, though). I've had roughly around 10-15 trips (Not counting Microdoses), and I would say that four of these involved Ego Dissolution or Ego Death, depending on the substance that this was encountered on.

Two Ego Deaths on Shrooms, the second of which was so powerful and a difficult trip which caused me to not only vow to never take high doses of shrooms again out of fear for their immense power, but caused anxiety when taking even really light doses of things like Lucy for the next couple of years.

Over the years I've thought about it quite a bit and come up with theories as to what exactly the Psychedelic Experience encompasses, but lately, like over the past two months, most of my days are spent quite literately obsessively thinking about psychedelics and what they can do (From their ability to cure things like depression/anxiety/ocd/etc to the way that high dose experiences force subconscious emotions and feelings to the surface (both good and bad), forcing you to deal with all of your suppressed shit.)

This has kind of become a problem because I occasionally talk to co-workers and family members about Psychedelics, and I feel like I'm starting to become known as the 'Psychedelic Guy' even though the last time I used Psychedelics was when I smoked DMT while peaking on Lucy back in late 2016.

Does anybody have any theories as to why this is happening? And if you do, do you have any suggestions for me to make the proper changes to my life in order to obsess over them less.

Also, if this isn't something like OCD or a subconscious desire to use psychedelics, is this obsession just a normal part of life for us who have experienced the core of the psychedelic experience??

 

[mr peabody]

Pretty interesting post. IMHO, the problem, if you want to call it that, is that psychedelics are so important, so life-altering, that one is never the same after the sort of experiences you describe, and that is a perfectly reasonable response. I would say, stay with us, and share your ideas with people who are living with pretty much the same situation. We need you.

peace and love

 

[Healing_Sensai]

Thanks for the response I appreciate it. I will man I plan on writing trip reports for some of my absolutely most powerful trips so that others can help me integrate aspects of them that I might have missed. And you're right anybody who has experienced that feeling of forgetting who they are, not only who their friends are but what the concept 'friend' even means, and just about everything else that they would normally interpret on a day to day basis in order to build their identity into everything that they believe makes them who they are, instead being a meatbag experiencing pure consciousness in which entities (sometimes ones that actually merge with certain objects, like paintings, and appear to have 2-dimensional physical bodies) telepathically send you the purest form of love fathomable after telling you how much they love you, and then returns from that experience and after a good night's sleep sees the world as they had seen it before all the craziness that had been induced by the plant teachers, with the ego they had completely lost in tact perfectly reassembled, but not nearly the same ego that it was before being deconstructed, the few people who are adventurous enough to have this type of experience, will NEVER look at the world the same way they did before the experience.

 

[pupnik]

unfortunately, you need us too, your regular community does not want to hear about it.
we can't get enough.
they think it's weird
we don't

 

[Healing_Sensai]

The biggest problem about the fact that I'm so into the potential held within psychedelics is the fact that the family that I talk to it about don't like it when I discuss it, and I feel like I'm being rather intrusive, so I try to limit talking about it to them. As for co-workers, I have two who I talk to about psychedelics on an at least fairly regular basis, one of which I talk about them to practically every day.

I'm not worried about being shunned by society for my views on the plant teachers. In fact, I believe that as many people should be talking about it as possible! However, I do feel a bit of a disconnect from these people when one of them has never touched Psychedelics and therefore has no reference point from which to build on based on what I'm telling her. The other guy is kind of a hippie and smokes and said he dropped 2 hits of LSD once but they didn't do anything for him, so he probably understands more, but even he hasn't had an experience where he perceived the world differently, and I couldn't even imagine anybody that I talk to about them ever having an Ego Death experience.

I'm just getting kind of sick of thinking about them everyday, as I feel that obsessions can be unhealthy, especially when I put a good amount of thought from each day into Psychedelics.

As for what you told me, it's normal to have this type of obsession with Psychedelics? I mean I get it, you know. Aside from their ridiculous potential for healing the mind, body, and soul, even if the healing didn't occur, the experiences themselves are completely life-changing. Like, it's been about 10 years since my first ego death mushroom trip, and I can stick picture certain parts of the peak like they were happening right now, only in my head. The second powerful mushroom trip I had especially tends to have this effect on me. There are certain things that you can't unsee once you've seen them.

I'm going to post about all the trips that I can remember in the coming days, and hopefully they'll be able to inspire or help some people struggling with an issue related to the Psychedelic Experience!!!

 

[trogere]

Forums like here are a good place to talk about these things we cannot really talk about in our everyday life.

 

[sk0sH]

Thanks for the response I appreciate it. I will man I plan on writing trip reports for some of my absolutely most powerful trips so that others can help me integrate aspects of them that I might have missed. And you're right anybody who has experienced that feeling of forgetting who they are, not only who their friends are but what the concept 'friend' even means, and just about everything else that they would normally interpret on a day to day basis in order to build their identity into everything that they believe makes them who they are, instead being a meatbag experiencing pure consciousness in which entities (sometimes ones that actually merge with certain objects, like paintings, and appear to have 2-dimensional physical bodies) telepathically send you the purest form of love fathomable after telling you how much they love you, and then returns from that experience and after a good night's sleep sees the world as they had seen it before all the craziness that had been induced by the plant teachers, with the ego they had completely lost in tact perfectly reassembled, but not nearly the same ego that it was before being deconstructed, the few people who are adventurous enough to have this type of experience, will NEVER look at the world the same way they did before the experience.

It's not a bad thing to forget who you are. You can objectively look at your ego and say "that....I don't like, let's get rid of that", and then come back feeling more improved and complete.

Sometimes, on a strong enough dose of usually lucy when she finds me, I take it to experience just that, and this is always when I rapidly change environments to adapt to the new environment. Of course, if it means moving, then obviously I am going to unpack and decorate everything, otherwise I'll be tripping out over what's in various boxes for 12 hours lol.

 

[Doclad]

I used to talk to people around me about drugs and my experiences. The result was very frustrating because some people feel reluctant due to the prejudices that grow with our education/culture. On the other hand, the fact that drugs are prohibited and taboo in our society could stimulate our obsession.
My wife asked me to stop talking about drugs with my friends and acquaintances because they were not listening to what I was saying, on the contrary, they had the wrong idea of me, like I was an addict or something. Not all my friends are like that, but before I did not discriminate and now I am very careful.

I had to find a place to talk about all this because it's something I really need, that's how I came to this forum and I'm very happy to be here. I do not feel judged as I have felt in the past and I can share my concerns and experiences with all of you.

I love BLUELIGHT. 8)


DocLad

 

[yepyepwoah]

unfortunately, you need us too, your regular community does not want to hear about it.
we can't get enough.
they think it's weird
we don't

yuuuup. i come to bluelight so I can pretend to have friends ;-)

or at least talk about shit and people actually are like "yah me too!"

 

[mr peabody]

No pretending about it. We belong to you, and you belong to us.

 

[EntheoDjinn]

Ha ha. This takes me back. I left a lecturing job in college after 24 years. Three years later I bumped into one of the staff who still worked there and he told me that I had been known as "the acid man". I was quite proud really