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Badly addicted to pot. Need advice.

T

ThomasD

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 11, 2017
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Need some serious advice here. Been a daily smoker for 2yrs and I can't get high anymore, but I can't have a T-break. Here is why.

When I attempt to have a break, as little as 2 hours after smoking my body is shaky, tense and restless, and my mind is the same, and unbelievably depressed. I suffer from aspergers, depression, anhedonia, anxiety, dissociation, derealization, etc... and i'm in an extremely low point in life. Pot is putting me into debt because I need to smoke a lot to even feel normal. Apart from this, it is causing me no problems, in fact, it temporarily suppresses all of the disorders I listed, except for aspergers of course. But pot has always made me feel more 'normal' and relaxed, i've never been anxious on weed once in my life, it really is a life saver for me.

I can't even go a few hours without feeling close to attempting suicide unless I've smoked. I've never gotten very high even when I first started, but now tolerance is so bad it's almost not helping anymore... but it's helping enough to feel impossible to quit.

I keep trying and I fall back within hours. I feel so weak and ashamed for this. I am very overdrawn and have no money but yet keep loaning it because if I don't I lose my marbles. I need to know i'm not the only one in this boat. Pot doesn't make me lazy, it isn't that kind of stereotypical 'stoner' addiction. I just need it to fucking function. Should I go with a break so I can catch up on money, and emotionally completely fall apart and maybe even do something regretful? Is the money and T-Break worth the torment and pain?? I'm stuck. I need money, and I need a break because I'm not feeling it, but if I go without i'm fucked! Help!

I should mention I always felt this shitty before I started smoking, which also stops me from wanting a break, because I can't imagine feeling better after a couple of weeks. Why would I if I've never been happy in life in the first place?
 
hey, don't be so hard on yourself....

weed addiction is mostly mental and you can fool you body easily.
try some eating some valerian root and abstain from weed for a few and your tolerance will go way down.

have you tried different strains and sativas/indicas?
 
Any close friends/family that can muscle you onto a couch if you try to get up and get weed for a few days? A way to make yourself not accessible to weed for a while?

The first part is the worst. IMO it's as easy to go 3 or 4 days as it is to go months on a break, the first little bit is the worst by far.
 
I'm on a break right now, I consider myself one of the few people with the type of mind that can addict to it. I'm on day 7 or 8. Things get slightly better everyday. Don't feel alone man.
 
I smoke a lot for some of the same reasons, I have been smoking less each day and then am going to go on a break as well. I think it will suck but be so worthwhile when I come back.
 
Don't let this become a bigger problem. You likely have an inclination towards addiction in general and things can get much worse.

Also, do not allow yourself to quit cold turkey. A lot of people can just fine, but you have pretty serious issues to work through. So do I... if I run out of pot I flip out but my guy is somehow right there every time. I managed to quit using heroin last summer, and now I am just shy of a month off oxy's, and it is time to stop smoking pounds of weed myself! I plan on cutting back to 3 to 6 bong tokes a day, spread out by at least 4 hour intervals.

I just went 8 hours and I was too anxious to move by the end of it, had a toke and I feel great. I crave bong tokes a lot; after I cut back to the amount I mentioned I don't get cravings or side effects so find what works for you... it probably isn't fully stopping at the moment.

I would recommend cutting back, experimenting with different size rips and try to make a sort of regimen for yourself. You probably won't have the self control to go a day without and it would be a shit day anyway. So hold off for like 4 hours (if that is a challenge at first) and get lit. Slowly increase the time between your tokes, something like that. You'll get better medical effects and to me it sounds almost like you are crashing hard after a couple hours. Maybe if you smoked like 3 times a day those negative effects wouldn't be apparent and you would benefit from pot. Give the middle way a try, cannabis tolerance decreases very fast and it can become affordable again.
 
Great responses, thankyou very much. ShroomySatori, brilliant advice. I think i'm going to try and taper off very slowly, and get everything back on track.
 
ShroomySatori said:
Don't let this become a bigger problem. You likely have an inclination towards addiction in general and things can get much worse.

Also, do not allow yourself to quit cold turkey.
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I'm doubling down on that specifically, but pretty much Shroomy's entire post.

Won't go through my experiences in tapering down my use because it's honestly a gradual change in mentality that's gonna do the trick for you. The hardest part is actively trying to change the way you think, about your drug use and your, for lack of a more neutral term, mental health issues concerning your occasional (or perpetual, it kind of seems?) desire to harm yourself.

So, weening yourself down or off the drug completely while still dealing with those dangerous impulses, yeah? Let's get some discussion going about that. You mind telling me how much you smoke on average and per session? Whether on a single given day or through a week or a month? Just an honest answer, brutha, no need to embellish or play your usage down like I've seen others do on this site over the years.



ThomasD said:
I should mention I always felt this shitty before I started smoking, which also stops me from wanting a break, because I can't imagine feeling better after a couple of weeks. Why would I if I've never been happy in life in the first place?
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See now, that's a whole 'nother ballgame. If you wanna talk about that feel free to shoot me a PM or even in this thread if public discussion about it wouldn't bother you. I'm on and off all throughout the day and and I genuinely like to try and help with these kinds of situations.
 
Thankyou. I'm aware I need to change the way I think, I've been trying for a long time, and don't give up on it. I don't feel desire to self harm, but sometimes when sober I do have desires to end my life. I almost always have a breakdown eventually after a few hours of being sober, and if not, i'm always profoundly bored. These, along with the physical symptoms, are what is keeping me latched onto the herb. I am trying, though. The only time i've felt close to getting better was after a ketamine trip - not my first one. For the following month I felt very insightful, calm, care-free and didn't feel bored. I felt like I was getting on the right track - but it all just disappeared, i'm not sure why. A following attempt a couple of months later with Ketamine didn't produce the same anti-depressant effects the following days / weeks.

I don't really have 'sessions', I will just bike off to the woods to smoke a J every 2-3 hours usually. I can put anywhere between .2 and .4 in a J (Tobacco too) and on rare occasions will smoke out of a homemade pipe, or will occasionally put over .5 in a Joint. I'd say I go through 1.5gs a day on average. I am -150 in debt too, which is a lot for me considering I only get around ?500 a month - of which ?250 can be spent on bud. But now it's only ?100 because i'm overdrawn... etc etc.. shit scared because I need bud but can't afford it, so I keep drawing money out despite it. I'm a fool.
 
Cream Gravy? said:
Taper and take a decent break, the way you would from a more serious drug.
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Good advice, but not when you're self-medicating to keep suicidal thoughts at bay.

That's what I meant by self-harm, Thom-- just that suicide's pretty much the ultimate form of it. My best suggestion considering everything you've posted would be to abstain as long as you can between sessions/times you smoke. Turn it into an endurance game and find ways to occupy your thoughts in the meantime (I'm a big fan of books, binge-watching Netflix/Hulu/TV and playin' video games but everybody's got their thing.) I'm not sure what the source of your unhappiness is, but I think the key here is to tackle that first and foremost and worry about the drug habit as a kind of secondary concern.

Try to limit yourself by your daily consumption. Start with what you think is a typical 1.5g/day, then drop it down to like 1.2g (which is ~6 of your spliffs if I'm mathing correctly). Then just drop it another .2g when you feel comfortable with the thought, but make sure to actively work towards it.
 
Hello Jibult. I think your suggestion of abstaining between sessions is a great advice, along with thinking of it as an endurance game. The source of my unhappiness is childhood emotional abuse, neglect and trauma - a very unstable, bipolar mother with clearly many undiagnosed disorders, who told me things like 'kill yourself' 'you belong in a mental hospital' 'i wish i could just fucking kill you sometimes!' and the likes at the ripe age of 5. I am slowly getting past this trauma.

One thing that keeps me unhappy is the fact my little sister is having to go throughthe same thing with my mother, who is 6, and she clearly has some extreme anxiety symptoms already. I'd call services but I love my mother and you know how hard that would be. Other things are lack of money, therefore enough bud to keep me at bay. My constant general and social anxiety along with physical symptoms keep me unhappy. The fact im addicted and cant be happy sober makes me unhappy. The fact i can't enjoy anything, relationship issues, etc.

Slowly dropping my daily consumption is another great idea. You have been extremely helpful - i'll appreciate a reply.
 
Man I gave you basically that same advice a week ago. What kind of reply are you expecting? I'd say call CPS for your sis and get on disability for depression/ptsd. Your ma will be pissed obviously but try to see at as the first step to her getting better, too.

I feel like you know the answer here and are just delaying the inevitable. Sorry if I'm coming off harsh
 
Moxious, that would be correct, I am delaying the inevitable - you did give the same advice a week ago, I sort of stuck to it for a couple of days but fell into a harsh depressive episode, and the habit continued. I am trying to change my consumption. I'd say the kind of reply I was expecting was some kind good advice, or maybe someone who could relate to anything.

I don't believe I have PTSD, only because I don't match up with virtually any of the described symptoms. I do not have flashbacks or anything, in fact my memory is so shit I can't remember most of my
childhood or early teen years, but I know the abuse was there and remember key moments, but they do not scare me, just sadden me.
 
Treat it like medicine and smoke it every few hours. If you have to get off it completely I would invest in some good cbd oil for the wd's.
 
I can relate ThomasD,....pure and simple----DEPRESSION SUCKS!!! I get it too.

Wintertime(cold as h*ll,no light like living in eternal darkness ) compounds it.

IMHO you are not badly addicted to pot but are self-medicating as needed for a very common affective disorder(another name for depression).
 
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ugh i hear that winter darkness stuck inside depression! i too have been feeling like u thomasd when coming off green for a day or two lately I become very restless and anxious and depressed. It does start to become expensive, benzo's can help during the first few days of w/d but they are addicting too. Endless cycle. Your surrounding is a big role too, if you are unhappy and depressed where you are you will want to smoke more IMO.

In the earlier days I would always limit the green to nights only, it felt much more rewarding after a day of getting things done or after a workout etc and was something to look forward too. If its an option for you, perhaps you could start getting strains with less and less THC content.
 
ShroomySatori said:
Give the middle way a try.
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This! Congrats Shroomy :)

ThomasD said:
Great responses, thankyou very much. ShroomySatori, brilliant advice. I think i'm going to try and taper off very slowly, and get everything back on track.
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And remember, you only get like 3 amazing hours or so out of cannabis per day. If you shoot your load all in the morning, you will suffer the negative consequences the rest of the day. Try some exercise in the AM :)
 
ThomasD said:
I will just bike off to the woods to smoke a J every 2-3 hours usually. I can put anywhere between .2 and .4 in a J (Tobacco too)
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AHA! There is one of your problems that must be considered. The nicotine addiction forces you to return to the joints you roll over and over. Going straight herb might be helpful :)
 
I'm not addicted to nicotine. I purely use it to fill half of the joints, i do not smoke cigarettes and never feel withdrawals if i dont use tobacco for days. I often smoke pure herb on its own as well. I've done experiments without the nicotine and it makes no difference without it... i'm purely addicted to the herb.
 
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