So I have extremely little experience with this stuff, and got into some real trouble the other night. The girlfriend in the past two years has three times suggested we do some good MDMA together, and once I got it myself from another recommended source. All four times have been amazing, really beautiful and intense nights, with the last one about two months ago. But I did unfortunately did little research into the right way to do things -- including the necessity of testing and correct dosing -- which was horribly stupid. I also have few friends into such times, so had few people to ask for recommendations.
So three nights ago, I got some new "MDMA" from what I was told was a reliable source, though it arrived in a bag with a different color than usual from a different person, which should have been a huge warning. Looking at it and taking a little taste, it was yellowish-white, with some shards and some white powder, and tasted just like previous MDMA experiences, though to me it tasted about half as strong as before.
So me and my girl didn't eat all day to prepare, got some music ready, and around 7pm dropped about 250mg each, though I didn't know what the correct dosage was at the time, just that me and my girl had done three "balls" (what is now obviously a gram) across a 12-hour night before and it was intense but manageable, but that one ball each was probably a better upper limit.
What follows is the timeline:
+25 mins: Start feeling a slight euphoria, as if the MDMA rush is about to take off, and my girlfriend's pupils dilate massively, though my eyes remain unchanged
+45 mins: Feel no significant feeling other than a slight pleasure at touching and in the music. My girlfriend is having a great time, though both feel a noticeable sense of anxiety. Take another dose of around 250mg to try to catch up with her.
+75 mins: The girl is feeling terrific, both are feeling extremely loving but not horny or touchy, and both coming down already. My girl suggests we redose. We go for it, and take another 250mg dose. She goes back up, I still do not.
This pattern then continues over the next nine hours, with my girl having a fairly good time, very loving but that's all, no energy and none of the crazy touchy kissing euphoria that comes with the MDMA experiences in the past. I've gotten more and more annoyed with continuing to not feel anything special, and continue to feel the anxiety grow along with the "zappy" effects, and get bingy in an effort to reduce the anxiety and restore the euphoria. I space out the doses to never do more than one an hour, and even then only understand later how ridiculous this idea is.
After taking far, far too many doses and not getting anywhere, I finally get nauseous and realise I've had way, WAY too much. I finally vomit in the bathroom, and try to get a grip. A few symptoms are clear:
* Dilated pupils have finally arrived
* My usually fairly manly-sized penis has shrunk to the size of an acorn
* Both me and my girl are sweating on and off
* Sexual interest and interest in touching have dropped to lifelong lows
* My gut is huge from unreleased gas but can't fart or pee
* Vision is zappy
* For two hours or so whenever I look at the white ceiling I see pink handwriting covering it, first in polish writing, then korean letters, then mathematical equations.
Finally around 8am, four hours after vomiting up my last dose, I begin feeling more normal, the hallucinations disappear, and I regain the ability to pee and fart. Neither me nor my girl are able to sleep all the following day, and finally the following night we get eight hours' sleep, and wake up yesterday better but disengaged from the world. I have been hearing tinnitus ever since, my girl only neck pain. Last night I could only sleep for four hours, though the girl slept fine. Today I feel cold, with the tinnitus still there.
Overall it looks like I ended up taking around 2 grams over 9 hours, while my girl took 800mg or so.
I realise here a few things:
1. I am a goddamn idiot in general and realises he's very lucky
2. I am done with this stuff for good as he clearly can't handle it
2. I am especially an idiot for not researching doses and understanding the need for testing, he understands this
3. I have no idea what he took and isn't looking for anyone to guess, as he's aware that it could be anything, but any suggestions or similar experiences would be welcome
4. I mostly just wanted to share the story for anyone who might stumble across it to further promote awareness of the need for testing
Thanks for reading, any feedback welcome. Would just be great to hear someone say that the chills, tinnitus and disengagement from the world (everything feels like I'm walking through a deserted movie lot now) all do go away eventually.
So three nights ago, I got some new "MDMA" from what I was told was a reliable source, though it arrived in a bag with a different color than usual from a different person, which should have been a huge warning. Looking at it and taking a little taste, it was yellowish-white, with some shards and some white powder, and tasted just like previous MDMA experiences, though to me it tasted about half as strong as before.
So me and my girl didn't eat all day to prepare, got some music ready, and around 7pm dropped about 250mg each, though I didn't know what the correct dosage was at the time, just that me and my girl had done three "balls" (what is now obviously a gram) across a 12-hour night before and it was intense but manageable, but that one ball each was probably a better upper limit.
What follows is the timeline:
+25 mins: Start feeling a slight euphoria, as if the MDMA rush is about to take off, and my girlfriend's pupils dilate massively, though my eyes remain unchanged
+45 mins: Feel no significant feeling other than a slight pleasure at touching and in the music. My girlfriend is having a great time, though both feel a noticeable sense of anxiety. Take another dose of around 250mg to try to catch up with her.
+75 mins: The girl is feeling terrific, both are feeling extremely loving but not horny or touchy, and both coming down already. My girl suggests we redose. We go for it, and take another 250mg dose. She goes back up, I still do not.
This pattern then continues over the next nine hours, with my girl having a fairly good time, very loving but that's all, no energy and none of the crazy touchy kissing euphoria that comes with the MDMA experiences in the past. I've gotten more and more annoyed with continuing to not feel anything special, and continue to feel the anxiety grow along with the "zappy" effects, and get bingy in an effort to reduce the anxiety and restore the euphoria. I space out the doses to never do more than one an hour, and even then only understand later how ridiculous this idea is.
After taking far, far too many doses and not getting anywhere, I finally get nauseous and realise I've had way, WAY too much. I finally vomit in the bathroom, and try to get a grip. A few symptoms are clear:
* Dilated pupils have finally arrived
* My usually fairly manly-sized penis has shrunk to the size of an acorn
* Both me and my girl are sweating on and off
* Sexual interest and interest in touching have dropped to lifelong lows
* My gut is huge from unreleased gas but can't fart or pee
* Vision is zappy
* For two hours or so whenever I look at the white ceiling I see pink handwriting covering it, first in polish writing, then korean letters, then mathematical equations.
Finally around 8am, four hours after vomiting up my last dose, I begin feeling more normal, the hallucinations disappear, and I regain the ability to pee and fart. Neither me nor my girl are able to sleep all the following day, and finally the following night we get eight hours' sleep, and wake up yesterday better but disengaged from the world. I have been hearing tinnitus ever since, my girl only neck pain. Last night I could only sleep for four hours, though the girl slept fine. Today I feel cold, with the tinnitus still there.
Overall it looks like I ended up taking around 2 grams over 9 hours, while my girl took 800mg or so.
I realise here a few things:
1. I am a goddamn idiot in general and realises he's very lucky
2. I am done with this stuff for good as he clearly can't handle it
2. I am especially an idiot for not researching doses and understanding the need for testing, he understands this
3. I have no idea what he took and isn't looking for anyone to guess, as he's aware that it could be anything, but any suggestions or similar experiences would be welcome
4. I mostly just wanted to share the story for anyone who might stumble across it to further promote awareness of the need for testing
Thanks for reading, any feedback welcome. Would just be great to hear someone say that the chills, tinnitus and disengagement from the world (everything feels like I'm walking through a deserted movie lot now) all do go away eventually.
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