Had never tried shrooms nor any psych before. Dealt with diagnosed moderate depression/suicidal thoughts for a year prior to this experience. Tried tons of medications, nothing worked. Since been off of most meds and symptoms got better over time, only mild depression now. Out of boredom and the specific want to introspect on my life, I took 4 g of shrooms hoping for a good experience. I did lots of research beforehand and read that bad trips are very uncommon and when they occur it’s usually due to bad crowd/environment. Did them alone in room, felt secure. Also felt positive going into the experience. Didn’t feel anything for a while, then I got pretty dizzy/drunk feeling. Out of nowhere I kept getting these irrational suicidal and negative thoughts thinking I’m a huge failure and remembering bad events about myself but blowing them way out of proportion to the point of crying/wanting to commit suicide but being too inebriated to move. Kept trying to stop these trains of thoughts by moving to different room, trying to change the topic in my head, but I couldn’t focus and every time I tried to introspect and have deep thoughts with myself I was just overwhelmed with negative thoughts and wasn’t able to control my thoughts nor explore my brain. Trip ended several hrs later with me feeling more or less the same as I had before, not depressed anymore but also no afterglow or anything positive, relatively neutral. Should I expect to have a similar experience in the future? Maybe I should try a different psych to get what I’m looking for or will the next time I take them not be bad like this one was? How can I avoid such a bad trip next time? Really trying to enjoy psychs and unlock their true potential but this was a bad first impression I’m getting from them as much as I want to love them.