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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Back to wanting to pull my hair out

P

Purposefull

Bluelighter
Joined
May 10, 2016
Messages
112
I've brought this up before, but my father, almost 90 has been taking both fentynol patches along with hydrocodone for several years for back pain from severe spinal stenosis. He's become rather feeble with dementia and forgets to take his medicine or takes too much and one topic that always comes up with family and my dad is "cutting back" as if there is some easy and painless way for a 90 year old person to go through withdrawal without any ill effects. It's of course madness because he'll feel so utterly horrible and it could kill him and yet everyone in my family who has never felt the pain of withdrawal seems to think they know how it works.
I'm not even sure if they even believe there's no such thing as feeling horrible from withdrawal much less withdrawal for an elderly person..
I know how it feels and they all know that I know and yet they all seem to think he's going to somehow be immune from it..
MADNESS! I wouldn't wish withdrawal on my own worse enemy, but somehow my 90 year old father would be able to handle it just peachy keen?
I guess I'm a horrible person for wanting to slap each and every one of them whenever they start this foolishness. Luckily his doctor is on my side with this issue, but it seems to be a never ending line of stupidity..
 
I really don't know much about opiate withdrawal, but would it be necessary with a long taper?
 
He's lucky he has you as his advocate if you ask me. I'm pretty certain he would be devastated if he were to get thrown into full on withdrawal. I was recently in a similar circumstance with my father who is 81. He was in the hospital for problems and they were dicking around with contacting the hospital doctor so he could continue to receive his pain meds. It got so bad he was basically sleeping, restfully not. The nurse was like, oh he's tired. I told her, no, he's in full blown freaking withdrawal and can't hardly keep his eyes open. Finally they got everything approved and bam, he's back to normal. Well no shit medical professionals! Funny but that guy actually knew what he was talking about. Hey, good luck with your dad, and your family.
 
People that have never been through opiate withdrawal sometimes can't understand what it's like. I mean besides if you've been with someone and watched them go through it firsthand or even seen it in a movie you just don't know. You can try to talk and educate them. I imagine for an elderly person who's frail, it could turn deadly.

Does your dad's doctor want him to cut back or rather him keep on the medications as is? I can see accidently overusing his pills due to dementia would be a concern for your siblings. Does he live alone? Maybe someone like yourself could dole out the hydrocodone to ensure he doesn't take too many.
 
You may not be a religious person but this is what is called righteous indignation. I encourage you to be a strong and vocal advocate for your father (it sounds like you are already doing this) and not concern yourself with how it makes you look. Im sure your family has good intentions but you must speak up and let them know they're wrong to cause him to suffer.
He's your dad and you have to stick up for him no matter what, otherwise you will regret it if he dies in terrible pain.
 
^isn't it a little presumptuous to assume they want him to suffer? He keeps forgetting to take his meds or taking too much, which is clearly dangerous. I'd imagine that they are thinking that if they taper him off, he does not have to experience withdrawal, or that it can be minimised, which I can only imagine is true and probably the lesser of two evils; or at least that's what they think.
 
Id be hazarding a guess but from the media coverage on aged care here, the folks that are more demanding on staff due to alzheimers and other ilnesses really are treated like shit. Its sad.

Theres no real need for a bloke at 90 to go through withdrawals at this stage, just make him comfortable and let him have as much quality as he can.


There might some inept fool just going by the book and not taking into account the needs of your dad as an individual .

Just make it known in writing that his meds must continue and not abate.

It might not do much but if they really fuck up itll be in writing what his and your wishes are.


Urgh i fear getting old.
 
zephyr said:
Id be hazarding a guess but from the media coverage on aged care here, the folks that are more demanding on staff due to alzheimers and other ilnesses really are treated like shit. Its sad.

Theres no real need for a bloke at 90 to go through withdrawals at this stage, just make him comfortable and let him have as much quality as he can.


There might some inept fool just going by the book and not taking into account the needs of your dad as an individual .

Just make it known in writing that his meds must continue and not abate.

It might not do much but if they really fuck up itll be in writing what his and your wishes are.


Urgh i fear getting old.
Click to expand...

Well said Zeph couldn't have phrased it better
 
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