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Australian GLBTI Bluelighters thread. Come outa the closet!

Well if we're all that anti, there must be some good of us hiding somewhere...
 
I really think I want to see girls from now on, but I just suck at meeting them, suck at knowing what to say, at least with guys there is not so many games, seriously, chicks are fucking cruel the way they prick tease
 
Raz said:
To add a bit of topic of conversation....what's everyone's thoughts on gay people 'flaunting it'?

To me, there's absolutely fuck all wrong with public displays of affection between two men or two women or a man and a woman or for that matter a bunch of people. When I was with my ex, we had lots of physical contact in public...and I don't mean like dry rooting on the tram, but we would walk around hand in hand, not be scared to kiss each other hello or goodbye, that kind of thing.

We're constantly confronted by images of heterosexuality, and there's no getting away from it...which is fine and I don't have an issue with it. It doesn't bother me that you can see straight people kissing on billboards, in magazines, on tv and in movies...as I said there's nothing wrong with affection and I think it's something which should be celebrated.

It does bother me though that there's a segment of the population who will quite happily tolerate the presence of queer people as long as we're kind of quiet about it and do all that icky kissing and hugging in private where we're not going to offend anyone.

I understand that for a lot of people, it is confronting. One of my best friends never saw me kiss a guy until she'd known me for 4 years and it shocked her because in her own words, she realised I was gay all along but had never put that connection in her head that it means I'm attracted to men. She never saw it as something which was wrong though, just something she'd need to get used to. And I'm fine with that. I don't expect the rest of the world to be raised in a society where homosexuality is seen as a bad thing and then for people not to have an issue with seeing it in front of them. I do fully expect those people to learn to accept it though and to fight the conditioning which tells them that two people in love is a bad thing.

There's a difference between tolerance and acceptance, and I think a lot of people who would argue that they're completely accepting maybe need to learn what that difference is.

If I kiss a guy on the street I'm not "flaunting" anything any more than the guy next to me is when he kisses his girlfriend....

Thoughts?
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i was just reading through this thread for i'm-not-even-sure-what-reason, but this was an interesting post (even if it's a year old). yesterday i saw two guys holding hands on flinders st, and i swear to god it's the first time i've seen that in a public space (and non gay event) in ... i don't even know how long.

i think that sucks.

i think it sucks, obviously, because there would presumably be plenty of gay men (which is what i'm talking about) or women (with which it's harder to tell - two girls holding hands are not as necessarily gay as two men) who actually don't act openly affectionately in public because of the stigma. or the fact that they'll be laughed at. or called names. or even physically intimidated.

i think that in itself (and so do all of you, i'm guessing) is disgusting, but i also find it troubling that the so-called empowered gay community isn't doing something about it. if i were gay, i wouldn't flaunt it in the camp sense that everybody's complaining about here, i'd flaunt it in the best possible way; make out in public in front of the homophobic looking guys, hold hands wherever i went, do whatever i could to confront people with something that should NEVER be defined as deviant, but entirely acceptable.

if it gets to the point where it actually IS confronting, then fucking sweet. people need to be confronted with this so that society as a whole can actually come to terms with it. mardi gras, imo, isn't as bad as some people (mainly homosexuals) say, but it's not great either; it merely opens up an outlet in society for gay people to reinforce the stereotypes they're supposed to be fleeing from.

people that actually seek to normalise homosexuality - by partaking in sexually "normal" situations like holding hands, kissing, or just walking down the street arm in arm - are doing far more to remove homophobia from the community than they great credit for. i'm actually astonished that it still exists; are heterosexual men so threatened by gay guys that they must pick on them all the time?

how fucking lame.

it's funny, someone brought up the fact that my friends and i are always making jokes about anal sex (with guys). as far as i know, all of those particular mates are entirely straight or bloody well close enough. yet it's really prevalent (so, to wit, are jokes about bestiality and paedophilia, but hey), and i think that in itself should be a point of discussion.

are we homophobic because we seek to reinforce our hetersexuality through laughing at *homosexuality*? i don't think so. are we, instead, homosexual, perhaps, because we're too insecure to admit that we somehow find it appealing? i don't think that's the answer either. rather, i'd hope that it's a nice and almost kind of kitschy way to poke fun of the people that actually find either extreme - homosexuality as the be-all and end-all (life-defining or whatever), or heterosexuality as my "being" - as a way to live life, an ideology.

it should be neither. it just is. you are, or you are not, or you're neither. plenty of people (including myself, though if i had to pick a label i'd be straight) define sexuality as a fluid thing, and any single one of those positions should be as valid as any of the others. i personally find the whole thing quite ridiculous, and the prejudices entirely repugnant. is it that hard to see past them?
 
Oh cool. Next time I have a significant-other-with-a-penis I'll go the pash out west somewhere to confront those close minded people. Mind paying my hospital bills when I have living snot beaten out of me?
 
^^^Fuck that, Brad's absolutely right. The gay "community" does sweet fuck-all to actually give us a place in the mainstream world. It gives us a ghetto to run away to, it makes us look like fucking freaks and a Saturday night's entertainment for the straight people out for a laugh, and it teaches us that straight women are good sidekicks and straight men are scary rednecks who are gonna beat us up as soon as we give them an excuse.

Obviously there's a time and a place for everything, and you choose your battles where they're worth fighting. I wouldn't pash a guy at Parramatta train station late at night waiting for the train while there's a bunch of drunk bogan fuckwits sitting 20 feet away, but then again I wouldn't take $400 out of an ATM at the same train station either - that's not living in fear, that's just common sense. The whole world isn't like that though.

You're only a victim if you let yourself be a victim. Yes, there are bad people in the world who are going to look down on you and hurt you because you're gay. But there are bad people in the world who will hurt you because you're white or black or asian, or you look like you earn more money than them, or just because they're pissed off and you were the closest target. You can either choose to live your life in fear and make fucking snide remarks rather than face the reality of the situation, or you can grow a fucking spine and be yourself, and fuck the consequences. People grow through adversity, not through finding excuses to run and hide from adversity.

It is disgusting that this sort of homophobia exists, it's just as disgusting that the gay community couldn't give a fuck about combatting it as long as there's a couple of streets we can hide in to escape from the rest of the world.
 
So how does the GLBT person who doesn't go to those little streets of safe haven go about curbing homophobia?

I live in the suburbs, my friends are straight. The best way I can see that I can have some effect of change is just by living my normal life, showing people that we're not all glitter-wearing Kylie-living fudge packers.

I'm all for fighting against homophobia. But I'm more concerned that, currently, my partner has no legal recognition in the eyes of the law. That if I died, my family could (not that they would) just decide to throw my partner out on the street. That if I'm lying in hospital my partner gets shunted to the end of the pecking order because they have no standing in the eyes of the law.

THAT is the type of thing Im worried about. I couldn't give a flying fuck about PDA's and bullshit like that.
 
heh, i don't remember writing that.

but who_can_say, why can't people be concerned with both issues? the legal recognition is extremely important, probably paramount, but it's not a mutually exclusive viewpoint from what i was saying...
 
who_can_say said:
I live in the suburbs, my friends are straight. The best way I can see that I can have some effect of change is just by living my normal life, showing people that we're not all glitter-wearing Kylie-living fudge packers.

THAT is the type of thing Im worried about. I couldn't give a flying fuck about PDA's and bullshit like that.
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I have always thought it more important to make others realise that it should not matter if we are all a bunch of kylie-loving fudge packers. I, for one, am hesitant about proving my normality/acceptability on the basis of how normal my life is!8o Maybe i am misunderstanding you, but to me this is akin to showing just how heterosexual you are, and therefore acceptable.

I think 1,2,3,4's point was though that we should not underestimate PDA's in terms of 'normalising' the image of gay people. I have always thought that walking through the mall holding hands with my boyfriend does far more for the gay image / furthering gay rights then some queen, prancing around with a g-banger at Mardi Gras does.
 
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I find PDA's to be, by and large, innappropriate regardless of your sexual orientation. I mean fuck, get a room. Even though I have recently had a taste of hetro life, I still found being all over my partner in public uncomfortable and unnessesary. That said, it sucks that I did things with her in public that I wouldn't have done with my bf's not nesseserily because I am afraid of confrontation, but because I just couldn't be fucked having to spend the rest of my time in whatever public place we are at, being on edge. I am happy to do something overtly homosexual to get in some fuckers face when I want to make a point, I am not scared of confrontations or even getting phisical if it came to it, but generally I just couldn't be fucked with the grief so I am discreet.
 
MR Candyslut said:
I have always thought that walking through the mall holding hands with my boyfriend does far more for the gay image / furthering gay rights then some queen, prancing around with a g-banger at Mardi Gras does.
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Very true.
 
After reading the mention of mardi gras, I suppose I do agree with it's confrontational point of view that it represents, but the fact that an event has to be made of it, is kind of insulting. The fact that people can't just be gay in public, they have to be flamboyantly gay in a parade is what sucks. It was traditionally a protest because they were unhappy with the way they were being treated, but now that we know homosexuality has a presence it seems to further the gap between homosexuals and homophobics by providing extreme stereotypes.

One thing I really enjoy about, not conforming to gay culture, is when I come out to people and they are quite shocked to hear I like men, sometimes claiming, "nah man, you couldn't possibly be gay, you're one of us". Silly stereotypes are giving straight men the opportunity to distinguish themselves from 'fags' beyond mere sexual orientation.

I like men, so what, it's not a defining character trait. I'm open minded to the idea of settling down with a women, theres just none that have taken my attention before. As has been mentioned, their games can be quite cruel, and what's with them making guys do all the work. They put on some makeup and try and look real pretty so that we can pay for all their drinks and they can repay us with sex. Hmmm whatever, when you're not that way inclined, it kind of devalues a lot of their attributes. I want a girl that appeals to me intellectually, without all those gimmicks, can take care of themselves and hopefully able to turn me on, but until then, i'll stay with what I enjoy.

I've got a question for those reading this though, what does everyone think of age gaps. like 20-40 year olds. It seems that reading historical texts, this is the way the romans and greeks often participated in homosexual acts, yet it still appears quite taboo both in and out of the gay public. Whe someone makes the decision to be with guys instead of girls, it seems ridiculous for someone to go with young as opposed to old merely because of social acceptance. What do people think, is it right or wrong?
I'm not talking about sugar daddies and toy boys by the way, unless there is love involved or true attraction it doesn't really count as being true to yourself does it...
 
^ Pederasty - that was definitely the type of relationship that was most prevalent, particularly throughout Ancient Greece. The whole premise of the relationship was quite different to modern day homosexuality; it was more of a teacher/pupil role than anything else.

I know that, personally, my last boyfriend was 32 (i was 22), and i am usually attracted to people around this age, if not older. I think because so many people incorrectly associate all deviant sexuality as similar, that ignorance leads them to the mistaken conclusion that paedophilia is the same as homosexuality. Thus, when an older and younger guy hook up, people automatically disapprove of it. I know when i was fucking this guy who was 42, and we went out to a club, all the inquisitive/dissaproving stares we got - it was enjoyable, but equally as infuriating ;)

Although, to be fair, i think there is still a lot of prejudice towards similar heterosexual relationships, they are just more common, therefore society in general is less shocked by them.
 
Well, I have decided I am ready to start "dating" again. Its been about a year since my last "relationship" and I really want to find a nice guy or a fuckbudddy or both. I have been in melbourne now for about 4 months and havn't set foot in the gay world. Where do I go? I am 29, good looking, smart...Hell, I'd fuck me but , I am by no means easy unless you ply me with lots of drugs, then I become a dirty tramp. hehe. Fuck being single, I want a bf or a fuckbuddy, anyone? BL Friends would be cool too :)
 
when i was in highschool, there was this fucking amazingly cute girl on the bus that me and my friends found impossible to talk to... we called her "Good Looking Bus Chick"... or GLBC for short... I much prefer my GLBC to your GLBTI sorry... but thanx for the reminder. :)
 
Just thought I would bump this up, I am back from overseas, single and I live in Melbourne. Anyone have some suggestions for a non scene way to meet guys?
Online sux, people are never who they make themselves out to be.
 
Whatever music you are into, go to a gig/ club night/ festival and be friendly.

Works a charm :)
 
Most of you probably know this but yer im a raging homo :p no shame although im not "out" to most of my friends unfortunately, although I have no problem telling people ive just met what my sexual orientation is. I find that strange lol

Id say most people would know by now coz ive mever never in a relationship that my friends know about and I think I just give off that kind of vibe and while im far from camp or feminine and when people first meet me they dont usually suspect anything but after knowing me for awhile girls usually ask if im gay, the guys never ask though heh funny that is.

But anyway im proud to be gay, I most certainly dont flaunt it and never would but it is just something I have grown to be proud of. Maybe because I did feel awful for years and wanted to be straight for a long time, but im over that. Love is love whether its coming from a man or a woman(im not bi whatsoever tho). Im not so into the internet meetup thing though, ive done it before and its as close to regretting something as I could ever get, im sort of glad I did it though because I know now not to ever do it again :\

And please if ou read this and your straight and have some kind of problem with gays, please try to learn a little more about what it actually is to be gay/bi/les/trans and that its not a choice, dont discriminate or hate. We are human beings too.
 
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