Raz said:
To add a bit of topic of conversation....what's everyone's thoughts on gay people 'flaunting it'?
To me, there's absolutely fuck all wrong with public displays of affection between two men or two women or a man and a woman or for that matter a bunch of people. When I was with my ex, we had lots of physical contact in public...and I don't mean like dry rooting on the tram, but we would walk around hand in hand, not be scared to kiss each other hello or goodbye, that kind of thing.
We're constantly confronted by images of heterosexuality, and there's no getting away from it...which is fine and I don't have an issue with it. It doesn't bother me that you can see straight people kissing on billboards, in magazines, on tv and in movies...as I said there's nothing wrong with affection and I think it's something which should be celebrated.
It does bother me though that there's a segment of the population who will quite happily tolerate the presence of queer people as long as we're kind of quiet about it and do all that icky kissing and hugging in private where we're not going to offend anyone.
I understand that for a lot of people, it is confronting. One of my best friends never saw me kiss a guy until she'd known me for 4 years and it shocked her because in her own words, she realised I was gay all along but had never put that connection in her head that it means I'm attracted to men. She never saw it as something which was wrong though, just something she'd need to get used to. And I'm fine with that. I don't expect the rest of the world to be raised in a society where homosexuality is seen as a bad thing and then for people not to have an issue with seeing it in front of them. I do fully expect those people to learn to accept it though and to fight the conditioning which tells them that two people in love is a bad thing.
There's a difference between tolerance and acceptance, and I think a lot of people who would argue that they're completely accepting maybe need to learn what that difference is.
If I kiss a guy on the street I'm not "flaunting" anything any more than the guy next to me is when he kisses his girlfriend....
Thoughts?
i was just reading through this thread for i'm-not-even-sure-what-reason, but this was an interesting post (even if it's a year old). yesterday i saw two guys holding hands on flinders st, and i swear to god it's the first time i've seen that in a public space (and non gay event) in ... i don't even know how long.
i think that sucks.
i think it sucks, obviously, because there would presumably be plenty of gay men (which is what i'm talking about) or women (with which it's harder to tell - two girls holding hands are not as necessarily gay as two men) who actually don't act openly affectionately in public because of the stigma. or the fact that they'll be laughed at. or called names. or even physically intimidated.
i think that in itself (and so do all of you, i'm guessing) is disgusting, but i also find it troubling that the so-called empowered gay community isn't doing something about it. if i were gay, i wouldn't flaunt it in the camp sense that everybody's complaining about here, i'd flaunt it in the best possible way; make out in public in front of the homophobic looking guys, hold hands wherever i went, do whatever i could to confront people with something that should NEVER be defined as deviant, but entirely acceptable.
if it gets to the point where it actually IS confronting, then fucking sweet. people need to be confronted with this so that society as a whole can actually come to terms with it. mardi gras, imo, isn't as bad as some people (mainly homosexuals) say, but it's not great either; it merely opens up an outlet in society for gay people to reinforce the stereotypes they're supposed to be fleeing from.
people that actually seek to normalise homosexuality - by partaking in sexually "normal" situations like holding hands, kissing, or just walking down the street arm in arm - are doing far more to remove homophobia from the community than they great credit for. i'm actually astonished that it still exists; are heterosexual men so threatened by gay guys that they must pick on them all the time?
how fucking lame.
it's funny, someone brought up the fact that my friends and i are always making jokes about anal sex (with guys). as far as i know, all of those particular mates are entirely straight or bloody well close enough. yet it's really prevalent (so, to wit, are jokes about bestiality and paedophilia, but hey), and i think that in itself should be a point of discussion.
are we homophobic because we seek to reinforce our hetersexuality through laughing at *homosexuality*? i don't think so. are we, instead, homosexual, perhaps, because we're too insecure to admit that we somehow find it appealing? i don't think that's the answer either. rather, i'd hope that it's a nice and almost kind of kitschy way to poke fun of the people that actually find either extreme - homosexuality as the be-all and end-all (life-defining or whatever), or heterosexuality as my "being" - as a way to live life, an ideology.
it should be neither. it just is. you are, or you are not, or you're neither. plenty of people (including myself, though if i had to pick a label i'd be straight) define sexuality as a fluid thing, and any single one of those positions should be as valid as any of the others. i personally find the whole thing quite ridiculous, and the prejudices entirely repugnant. is it that hard to see past them?