• Welcome Guest

    Forum Guidelines Bluelight Rules
    Fun 💃 Threads Overdosed? Click
    D R U G   C U L T U R E

As you get older does the lure of certian drugs become less?

For me psychedelics are the only drugs I continue to want to do that I actually think I should do. Everything else that I want to do it involves compulsion (stims and alcohol), but I really would like to grow out of that. The only drugs that have always been a positive influence on my life are psychedelics. The drugs I've moved past are opiates and, while I haven't entirely moved past marijuana, I only use it occasionally now in the same way I use psychedelics, rather than as a chronic daily thing.
 
For a while yeah, but then not anymore. After some years the best I ever felt was much worse than my standard everyday state before I started opiates (of course I started opiates for fun, not because I felt horrible and needed to mask it). I tried to quit so many times and lied to myself daily and also lied to people I loved daily... I grew to hate myself so much. Nothing has ever brought me lower than opiates. It's not sustainable. If I could use them once in a while they'd be great drugs but I can't and chronic usage was incredibly destructive for me financially and emotionally. I maintained a mortgage/home/job/etc during the whole thing too. I'm WAY better off without opiates. Personally, anyway... my baseline state is pretty happy and content with life, especially now that I'm free to pursue what I love again without the specter of addiction holding me back. I understand how it could be different for people who have struggled all their lives and find that only opiates even them out.
 
Xorkoth said:
For a while yeah, but then not anymore. After some years the best I ever felt was much worse than my standard everyday state before I started opiates (of course I started opiates for fun, not because I felt horrible and needed to mask it). I tried to quit so many times and lied to myself daily and also lied to people I loved daily... I grew to hate myself so much. Nothing has ever brought me lower than opiates. It's not sustainable. If I could use them once in a while they'd be great drugs but I can't and chronic usage was incredibly destructive for me financially and emotionally. I maintained a mortgage/home/job/etc during the whole thing too. I'm WAY better off without opiates. Personally, anyway... my baseline state is pretty happy and content with life, especially now that I'm free to pursue what I love again without the specter of addiction holding me back. I understand how it could be different for people who have struggled all their lives and find that only opiates even them out.
Click to expand...

I can 100% relate to that.
Sadly for me opiates (uk street heroin) has been my true downfall but also a kinda cure to hide me away from how flat life can be, I firmly believe longterm use of heroin changes the way your brain works, all the times I've been off it (I started on it in 2001) life feels so flat, I get NO joy from things that everyone else in life seems to like & enjoy, I truly believe I will use them till I die & over the decades I now accept my fate with open arms, I know I'll die from heroin one day.

If you could have just one psy to use for life what would it be?
As I said in my opening post the only "trippy" chemical these days I would care to use is smoking N,N-DMT again & I've done quite a few in my time (4-HO-MET would be on there too but like MXE I used it so much it stopped working on me, even giving 4-HO-MET a 6 month break I could never get back that original magic I loved so much, N,N-DMT I've never had that issue with)
 
Man that's a tough question. I love them all, it would be really hard to choose. It might be LSD. But LSD doesn't cover all the bases. It might be DOC, but the duration is too long. It might be mushrooms or 2C-E because they're both the deepest substances I've ever done (in different ways), but both are not that recreational for me and I only want to take them from time to time when I'm trying to trip with a purpose, and most of the time I trip these days it's just for fun and to sort of keep maintaining my connection to the joy of the little things/my inner child, rather than to trip balls, go deep and figure shit out.

PAWS from long-term opiate use lasts a long time and makes everything feel dull and flat. But it is possible to get out of it, just hard. I did ibogaine to get off opiates and it seemed like it dug the addiction right out, I came out of it feeling like I had woken up from a nightmare where I was insane, and I was sane again. I immediately went on to have the best 2 years of my adult life, no PAWS whatsoever. I wonder what it would have been like if I hadn't done ibogaine?
 
madness00 said:
Same.

I find as i leave my childhood phase, stimulants are more appealing.
Click to expand...
AS I get older, I find stimulants less appealing because of the insomnia I've started to have since I was in my early twenties. Now as I approach 27 I find I use adderall maybe 5 times a year, but I use a lot more opioids and benzos. I still use the occasional psychedelics but it's always in combo with alcohol or opioids or both. Sort of feels like cheating but I greatly enjoy it.

I think this past year was the most sober year of my life though, since I started using cannabis in high school. A lot less weed and alcohol. I think I partied too hard a few too many times with liquor and I get the worst hangovers from booze now. I had five or 6 shiners yesterday, and I feel like total ass today. Bleh.
 
Xorkoth said:
Man that's a tough question. I love them all, it would be really hard to choose. It might be LSD. But LSD doesn't cover all the bases. It might be DOC, but the duration is too long. It might be mushrooms or 2C-E because they're both the deepest substances I've ever done (in different ways), but both are not that recreational for me and I only want to take them from time to time when I'm trying to trip with a purpose, and most of the time I trip these days it's just for fun and to sort of keep maintaining my connection to the joy of the little things/my inner child, rather than to trip balls, go deep and figure shit out.

PAWS from long-term opiate use lasts a long time and makes everything feel dull and flat. But it is possible to get out of it, just hard. I did ibogaine to get off opiates and it seemed like it dug the addiction right out, I came out of it feeling like I had woken up from a nightmare where I was insane, and I was sane again. I immediately went on to have the best 2 years of my adult life, no PAWS whatsoever. I wonder what it would have been like if I hadn't done ibogaine?
Click to expand...

I got a documentary you may be interested in?
Let me know if you want me to PM it over to you (Iboga / Ibogaine related & it has a woman I cannot name on here openly from Amsterdam who had several folks die in her "care" while doing their detox)
 
Zopiclone bandit said:
all the times I've been off it (I started on it in 2001) life feels so flat, I get NO joy from things that everyone else in life seems to like
Click to expand...

Were you like that before you ever used opiates or was it caused by the opiates for certain?

For me this is my baseline emotional level anyway, way before I started opiates, since my earliest memories as a child. I find myself numb and apathetic as default. When I do naturally feel emotion it all rushes to me at once and usually not in a good way. I end up having panic attacks or general anxiety (hence my love for benzos) or depressive episodes.

This is why I like to use drugs. They make me feel emotions I never normally feel. For example last night I did a low dose of 4-MMC, just enough to get the serotonin flowing without it feeling too overwhelming or "forced" like MDMA, combined with DHC. I felt a lot more "human" than usual. I had genuine empathy and connection with people, which I usually lack. I had hope for the future and excitement from the dopamine release too.

I get something similar from opiates, but it expresses differently. I feel like everything is good in my life, I have no worries, and also that I can connect and empathise with people. But the danger however is I lack motivation.

So that's where stims come in. Then I feel motivated and get shit done. Combined with opiates I feel like superman... for a while, until the tolerance hits, but the medical effects of the stims (extra motivation) thankfully do stick around even with tolerance.

Of course not much of this is sustainable daily, certainly not anything that releases serotonin, and not opiates either without having the discipline to take tolerance breaks, but when I get the balance right I feel "human" as in I imagine that's what regular people feel. Kinda depressing I'll only ever get that feeling from drugs but I've made my peace with it.
 
Wilson Wilson said:
Were you like that before you ever used opiates or was it caused by the opiates for certain?
Click to expand...

I've never been that guy people call "the life & soul of the party" my idea of fun for decades has been to be alone with a good movie or music, I've never felt the need to be very social with folks & I find what 99.9% of the world finds "fun" to be totally rubbish but without question my use of gear has made this feeling a lot more extreme.
 
Zopiclone bandit said:
I've never been that guy people call "the life & soul of the party" my idea of fun for decades has been to be alone with a good movie or music, I've never felt the need to be very social with folks & I find what 99.9% of the world finds "fun" to be totally rubbish but without question my use of gear has made this feeling a lot more extreme.
Click to expand...

Makes sense. Sounds like it could be PAWS.
 
You know the kind of people you see out on a weekend "on a mad one with the lads" type Wilson Wilson, they look like they are right off ITV2 Love Island & think "fun" is sniffing some coke, chasing after women cause " we are lads" & upload photos (taken poorly may I add with ZERO artistic or photographic merit) to Instagram....I fucking HATE these people & would prefer to see their heads on a pike.
 
Zopiclone bandit said:
You know the kind of people you see out on a weekend "on a mad one with the lads" type Wilson Wilson, they look like they are right off ITV2 Love Island & think "fun" is sniffing some coke, chasing after women cause " we are lads" & upload photos (taken poorly may I add with ZERO artistic or photographic merit) to Instagram....I fucking HATE these people & would prefer to see their heads on a pike.
Click to expand...

Yeah I get you completely on that mate. I doubt you're alone in this at all.

I knew this one bloke at uni though who acted like that, but then one day he spoke to me privately and asked for tips on how to cope with anxiety and depression. He said he tried to off himself last night and his parents were bringing him home for a bit. He told me he had very bad anxiety.

Came out of nowhere for me, I would never have guessed that of him. Obviously he was putting a mask on to deal with his problems and it didn't work too well. He got laid like tile too. But that doesn't actually help jack shit.

I have to wonder how many of those "lad" types are putting it on for the same kind of reasons. It's all very obviously a fake persona.
 
i had a reawakening to psychedelics in my 30s after 20s full of hard drugs and not much tripping. i think its more that the hard drugs and psychedelics trade off with eachother regardless of what direction it goes as you age.

now i can't don psychedelics anymore due to damage they caused, so its back to opiates and weed. But even with opiates, i don't do them like i used to, i take full abstinence breaks regularly, i don't shoot them anymore.. i don't use them every day any more. Its not because i can't...i'm simply tired of all of the stress they add to life being addicted to them.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top