• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: axe battler | xtcgrrrl | arrall

Are we gonna make it?

F

Forest Ninja

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 5, 2014
Messages
33
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2-1/2 years. We grew up together and started dating at age 15 and 17 respectively. These last few weeks she's been saying she needs space and can't figure out what she wants to do with her life. I sat her down for a talk last night (first time she was over in a week or so) and demanded to know what was going on. She said she's not sure what she wants, she thinks she likes someone else, and has been texting said guy on and off. When she told me that she broke down in tears. They work together. We talked for quite a while, both of us cried a lot, and she said she think's I'm the best guy in the world, she loves me so much, and doesn't want to hurt me. She said she wants to work on making us work but I'm worried she may still be talking to this other guy. She said she wants to feel it out, we agreed to keep seeing each other on a limited basis and are still dating. I love this girl with all of my heart guys and gals, and it really pains me to have this happen. I've been up and down about it and I don't know what to do. She said it's going to be hard for us but she's willing to try.
Idk if it's over or not. Maybe we'll take a break, but idk ya'll. I'm so fucking depressed about this. I'm trying to give her space but at the same time I feel like she's pushing me away. I have no idea what to do or how to handle this. It feels like my whole world has warped. Advice please.
 
Dam this sucks dude..id say the best thing is to let her go and give it time,for both of you..your still young and at that age u gotta figure out who you are with out her..even tho its love it still an attachment..plus if she comes back you know she wants u too and your not constantly worrying she is talkin to the other guy..good luck i know its hard life sucks sometimes

let her know u care but dont chase her to much it will make it worse
 
Give her space, your both really young and she may just be realizing that there are other people out there. It's a bit selfish to think that your childhood sweetheart/GF will be with you and only you.

It may not be over - but it will be if you try and smother her.
 
I'm trying to give her space and I accept that it may be over. It's just losing my best friend and love is a terrible pain. I hope she turns around, but I am preparing to lose her.
Idk what's gonna happen but I hope she stays in my life. I love that girl.
 
Focus more on you. Bring all the emotions back and just sorta take inventory of it all. Fear of lose the pain of separation and letting go it's all normal. Best remedy is time and acceptance to whatever happens. It's always good to vent to your friends(not too much) hangout with them and spend some alone time too clear your mind.
 
Your relationship is over man. Hate to say it but it is what it is. The faster you realize this the faster you can move on. It is over and you need to delete her #, block it so u don't even know if she nessages you, and go no contact. A break is laughable too lol. That's just her letting you down easy. Im sure you won't listen to me and Ull learn the hard way 2 months from now when you are back here again.

Shes been emotuonally cheating on you, and TOLD you she possibly wants someone else and has been communicating with him, and you still don't have the self respect to say adios.

You are a grown ass man, have some pride and self respect.

As I said you won't listen to me though and in 2 months when she dumps you, ull have no choice to get over it.

Good luck. C YA
 
I know it's basically over. I'm just trying to not get hurt as bad as I could. I'm definitely not delusional that this is very real and ending.
I am working on getting over it now, and seeing what my options are. It'd be hard to go cold turkey, she is my best friend after all.
Idk whether to keep being friends with her or just fucking get super mad and make her know I hate her?
 
Do neither of those things..dont get mad at her and u cant be her friend right now..u dont hate her u just hate that shes not yours anymore..u will be fine with time..just tell her no hard feelings and that u care about her and move on..u never know whats in store next for u..focus that love onto yourself


i dont think i have ever known a couple that started that young and stayed together forever..its just life changes people and relationships..trust me i made the mistake trying to be friends with my first love that left me..your are just denying yourself the time and space to heal..im not saying never talk to ber again but for the next year or so id stay away from her..maybe when u both get over it u can chat and catch up but its torture being friends with the woman u love
 
Last edited:
Sometimes it feels really hard to think about her, sometimes it doesn't hurt at all.
People are telling me this is going to hit me really hard in about 3 weeks, but I don't feel all that different. I don't really know what's gonna happen.

This will either be kinda rough or literally one of the hardest things to ever do.
 
You are delusional if you believe you can stay friends with her right now without being depressed are pining to be with her. Maybe in a year from now you can get lunch.

Once again have so e self respect. She Told you she was texting a other guy, and SHE SAID SHE THINKS SHE LIKES SOMEONE ELSE.

And you only found this out because you sat her down and demanded to know what was going on, therfor if you didn't do this evo knows how long you would have been made a fool of. That is blatant disrespect i mean come in. No make or female should do that to their partner.

Don't go by a girks words. Go by her actions. Most likely what ever "i love you" stuff she has been saying is just to let you down easy and gain pity.

She emotionally cheated and only came clean about what was really going on when you forced it out of her. Im sure even more happened then she came clean til and you want someone like this in your life??

You can't even trust her now.

She probably realizes she can do whatever and ull put up with whatever lol as long as she says what you want to hear.

Don't listen to those fools. 1 month from now If you stay no contact you'll look back and be like wtffff was i doing. Don't let her string you along.

And deep down you are praying she snaps out of funk and says lets ne together. You'll completely forget about the blatant disrespect and conniving ways about her.

But you are young and will prob have to learn the hard way. Good luck
 
It will only be as hard on u as u make it..your the same person thats why nothing feels different..dont listen to "when" and "how" u will feel things..everyone is different..of course its gona suck for a little while but the sooner u get into the habit of being single again the better u will be..freedom can be just as good as companionship its just how u wana look at the situation
 
Forest Ninja said:
I sat her down for a talk last night (first time she was over in a week or so) and demanded to know what was going on.
Click to expand...
Ugh, don't demand.

You guys are SO, so fucking young! This is the first in a long line of relationships you will both encounter in your life. People grow apart, people change, feelings get hurt - it's all a part of growing up and figuring out what you want. She admitted she doesn't know. Give her some space and take that same space yourself.

Hold on loosely, and don't let go. If you cling too tightly, you're gonna lose control.
 
This whole "we went from being in a serious relationship to just dating and limiting our contact so that she can figure out whether she wants something to happen with her coworker" ordeal is just insane to me. I think the logical decision would be to let her know that you love her and still want to be with her, but that you can't be on standby while she essentially dates this other guy.
 
You both are still maturing. pretty much ALL of us will have several break ups in our lives. But yea, you two had a good run and at about this age, break ups happen. Much better than those who marry their high school sweet heart, get married at 19, have 2 kids before the age of 21 and divorced by 22.

Break ups ages (roughly) / or important age when it comes to relationships:
18 - school / breakups
21 - much more mature, breakups.
25 - experienced / looking at life choices
30 - Not desperate, but know time is important, age has upon you.
40 - Long term goals.

Until you are about 25 years old, your brain is not fully developed. Don't consider any relationship LONG term until then. Don't get married. Don't have children.
Date someone for 1~2 years, live with them. Make sure you really love each other and can stand each other. Consider marriage at that point (its optional) - then look at having kids in another year or so. (just before or at age 30).
You'll enjoy your children in your 30s, after your career, your fun years and such have been done.
 
I'm just taking it one day at a time. I went out last night and had a lot of fun (party), met some new girls, saw some friends, etc. I'm definitely trying to take some space of my own now, and I feel a mixture of intense hurt and great relief. I don't really know how I feel at all honestly, it's so up and down and all over the place. Half of me wants to go forward and half of me wants to go back.
Guys and gals, love sucks.
If anyone would like to PM me as well that would be greatly appreciated.
 
Let her go.

I swear, your post feels like something I wrote a decade ago.

Let it go. Plenty of women out there.
 
I remember splitting up with my first love. Half of me was suddenly aware of all these new possibilities for adventure I could have now I was no longer in the relationship, and the other half of me felt like I was having major surgery without anaesthetic.

It seems as though you sort of already understand your relationship is over. You don't want it to be, I know. But it sounds to me like it is too. And I think the kindest thing you can do for yourself right now is to acknowledge the end of things and let go with as much grace and as much strength as you can muster. It is the kindest thing you can do for her too, and although maybe she didn't treat you with all the respect you deserve at the end, I know you still love her and so you wish her well and want her to be happy, so give her that last gift. You'll wake up the day after and want to take her back. Hold fast, everything passes.

Many many years on, my first love and I are now friends. As I am with every person I've been in a serious relationship with. They were all amazing people and I wanted to keep them in my life because of that. But it would have been so very much harder to have them in my life now if I'd clung on to the relationship as it was ending, or tried desperately to keep them around casually or as my friend straight after. Lots of people here are saying the way to heal from this is no contact with your ex, and they're right. While you still love her and have feelings for her, attempts at friendship right now will be excruciating and have the opposite effect long term. In a year or so when you've both moved on, chances are you'll have an awesome friend for life.

Good luck. :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top