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April Getting/Staying Sober and/or Clean vs Not Fooling Around.

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18 days now! Congrats and good vibes to everyone going through this process and the success you've all been having. Stay strong because it gets so much better after a period of time once you get over the initial hump but of course there are still always going to be the ups and downs that are just part of life and because of all the buried emotions that resurface to varying degrees in each of us.

Returned to a meeting earlier today (or should I be saying last night at this point haha) that branched off from a 12 step program which my cousin who is a recovering alcoholic also goes to and I find that helpful but it only meets once a week. I also have a counselor I talk to but I am going to look into other groups that address either the substance abuse issues or the anxiety/depression issues.

Thank you all for responses, your opinions, input and sharing your stories. I do need to consider WHEN shit hits the fan because even though its going well it always does get to that point eventually and I need to make sure I'm honest with myself especially about after these 100 days are up if/when/how I really want to test the waters again and if so I must have some sort of a plan in place to prevent a relapse into my old ways.

I think my main problem has always been anxiety/depression/ADD/Autistic spectrum and not being able to get over the past and substances have been the most significant, but in no ways the only way I've tried to cover up the underlying emotions I am now trying to work on but I must be vigilant that I don't let myself get back to the way I was before.

Once again good vibes and blessings to each of you on your path and thank you for sharing what you are going through and giving your input. This is a very helpful forum but I'm finding the real life conversations to be essential to dealing with all the baggage.

I'll check in from time to time just to update my progress and share anything that might be of relevance. Peace and good health to you all :)
 
^Do check in! I'm curious to hear about the spin-off group you mentioned. I've always wondered why AA and NA don't have more of that happening (like-minded people branching off into smaller, and perhaps different, support groups).
 
Smoky said:
Me too… I've been in that situation, once I was out of town looking for my DOC and the spot I found only sold something else. When I woke up the next day I was so glad this was the case.

I hear so much enthusiasm for 'life' on this thread, over drug use. I'm so grateful for the courage today to keep moving on, no matter what.
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That's the spirit!
 
Its really great to see so many people getting/staying clean, i sincerely congratulate you all, and I'd like to join you. My cousin just died of a heroin OD this morning(RIP). Never has this hit so close to home. Opiates are invading my life as well as friends and family. I'm so afraid and just a lot of mixed emotions right now. I've been using opiates for 5-6 yrs, addicted for 1-2. I've been growing more and more disgusted with them as the habit changes me and my life. Tried to quit several times the past few months with no success, but the pain i feel today is the final straw. I'm ready to move on and be done with this destructive habit, but I'm afraid it's already too engrained in my life. I hear about it daily from friends/family, no money to get away and move. I'm currently on day 2 of withdrawal(making todays news even harder to take). Hoping I can stay strong this time and not give in, I've not made it past a week before.
 
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I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. I wish you a good recovery. Maybe he inspires you. Try to find your deepest motivation and try hard, you can do this!

I'm totally off methadone for two months and 7 days. Methadone is really difficult to quit.
Some days I wished for my death like some of us in the beginning.
I realize 2 months is nothing like 6 months though.
It's the day you are living which matters most to me. I hope I can make it.
 
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Congratulations Erik ! !

Focus on how far you have come. Eventually those days will pass. Before I knew it I had a few months … then 6 months now almost 9. It gets better and better. I don't want to die anymore, today

Hang in there,
Smoky :)
 
Zi3m: My condolences to you at this difficult time. At the same time, good to see you posting and processing your thoughts about this sad event. Two of my sister's lost their spouses to H overdoses. I hope you continue to fight this addiction and get through today clean. Stay strong. Read other's thoughts and feelings; post here everyday, as often as you need to, and take your recovery one day at a time.
I am continuing with my taper off oxy's and the more I read and post on BL the more I get ready to jump off. I wasn't even planning on getting 100% clean until about July, but think about it more and more. It helps to read and post with sober BL'er's.
 
thanks CH and Smoky. I didn't exactly stay totally clean, I still smoked some weed. But at least I didn't resort to anything harder than that. It's hard for me to stay completely sober, I always seem to either want to drink a beer or two or smoke a joint at least. But the main thing for me right now is to stay away from harder drugs, although it would be nice to not be stoned on grass or buzzed on beer half the time. It's something that I'll have to work on, day by day moment by moment
 
Zi3m said:
Its really great to see so many people getting/staying clean, i sincerely congratulate you all, and I'd like to join you. My cousin just died of a heroin OD this morning(RIP). Never has this hit so close to home. Opiates are invading my life as well as friends and family. I'm so afraid and just a lot of mixed emotions right now. I've been using opiates for 5-6 yrs, addicted for 1-2. I've been growing more and more disgusted with them as the habit changes me and my life. Tried to quit several times the past few months with no success, but the pain i feel today is the final straw. I'm ready to move on and be done with this destructive habit, but I'm afraid it's already too engrained in my life. I hear about it daily from friends/family, no money to get away and move. I'm currently on day 2 of withdrawal(making todays news even harder to take). Hoping I can stay strong this time and not give in, I've not made it past a week before.
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I'm sorry to hear about the loss in your family; hopefully naloxone will be made available in all states/localities to users, to prevent overdose related deaths. <3
 
Papaverium said:
Rock on CH!! :D
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thank you verri :)

I'm still scared, because I still suffer from severe depression and at times can feel suicidal.

HOWEVER...I'm having a REALLY amazing event in a few days, and will share more details afterward. :D
 
officially on day 8! feeling pretty good just trying to work and stay busy,however i have off mon, tues and weds and hope i can keep the momentum going and not get bored and try to cop
 
^Some people like to go out dancing - other people like us we go to a velvet underground concert!

8 days? Thats some fucking good going! Keep going strong :)
 
fuck yeeee best song ever. I've detoxed many many a times in the past year since i initially detoxed this past august and every time lou has played a huge role!
 
I get a bit teary when i see things with lou on them these days. Like Patti Smith's induction into the hall of fame last week.
He was a cultural icon like no other.
And you know what? He got clean. And so can we, friends.
 
amennn brothaa i saw patti smith in ny before she headed to cleveland for the induction and she talked about lou a bit during her performance. he got clean from multiple substances so detoxing one or two should be a breeze :)
 
Captain.Heroin said:
thank you verri :)

I'm still scared, because I still suffer from severe depression and at times can feel suicidal.

HOWEVER...I'm having a REALLY amazing event in a few days, and will share more details afterward. :D
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That is good to hear. I am stoked to know more :)

My bf goes back to rehab tomorrow for the month. Hopefully I can get back on track again for reals.
I totally feel you on the depression too. I refuse to take ssri's/maoi's/etc. for it though. I'm determined to do it myself... no matter how long it takes! It's the anxiety that is worst for me... I can't even leave my house sometimes..
 
<3 veri, it'll be ok sweetie

I'm VERY excited, in less than 8 hours I will be off, having a grand time. Will post more about it later. %)
 
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