approaching women with kids

[Animal Mother]

I went to a bowling alley to meet up with a friend today. While he was busy with his kid, I thought that I saw a freaking gorgeous girl that I immediately had a huge attraction to. I wanted to go talk to her badly, but wasn't sure how that might turn out. Considering her son was with her. She was letting him play video games, playing with him?

try as I might, I couldn't find a way to make that not awkward. Which is something that I normally try not to concern myself with.

any single girls with kid want to give some input?

 

[ilikestims]

just approach and talk to her and go from there.

seduction is not a science but an art. it's just reading. reading the situation/mood/body language. and you can't do any of that until you pull the trigger.

you learn more through mistakes/failures

every woman is different. sure, there are general patterns, but you need to overcome approach anxiety first of all.

 

[augustaB]

Just be nice. Don't crowd. Don't want, beg or anything. She's a person who may or may not be interested. Be yourself and drop the naive callow inexperienced etc. stuff.

 

[Animal Mother]

Dude, I don't have approach anxiety.

Neither one of you addressed the kid aspect of this. Unless you're implying there is no difference in social settings and the company involved.

 

[llama112]

Well I would *guess* that a woman with a kid would be pretty mature, responsible, etc. and would want someone who was the same. So make sure you've covered that.

So how old is the kid? Is he old enough to be on his own at some times or is he like almost a baby and always has to be around a parent/her? If he was able to play video games when he was by himself, you could have approached her when she was away from the kid. If he's young, you've got to just approach her but perhaps a bit slower than usual because you don't want to make it obvious to the kid that you're hitting on his mother.

Also keep in mind that her kid will ALWAYS come first. No matter how serious your relationship, you will never be the most important person to her. I know that's still a while away and who knows what could happen but it's something you've gotta be aware of.

 

[Mariposa]

Though I am not a parent, I am the child of divorced parents. Both were more concentrated on their dating lives post-divorce than they were on me. My mother was a party girl and my father attracts needy women. Neither remarried.

I agree with a very basic, friendly approach. In a social setting, a friendly hello and a smile is a great way to start. I'd advise you to ask how her day is going. A woman appreciates when a man takes an active interest in her life. More conversation can naturally flow from there, and the kiddo won't freak out. Taking an interest in her child's life is also important. A social setting would be the ideal place to approach a potential new partner. If the conversation goes well, then that would be the right time to ask her if she'd like to do something next week. (It will also give her time to arrange for child care in advance so the two of you can be alone. )

I'll ask this, though: do you know for sure she was single?

And llama, your advice is very sound overall, but some parents, just as non-parents, are very selfish and do not always put their children first. It took a long time for me to make peace with my parents' respective selfish acts. Now everything's OK, but it was not that way for a portion of my development. I am certain other children from 'broken homes' identify.

 

[llama112]

And llama, your advice is very sound overall, but some parents, just as non-parents, are very selfish and do not always put their children first. It took a long time for me to make peace with my parents' respective selfish acts. Now everything's OK, but it was not that way for a portion of my development. I am certain other children from 'broken homes' identify.

Yikes! I'm sorry to hear that! Yes there are most certainly broken homes with selfish parents. I just know the majority of my friends and parents/parents friends who have kids would put their kids before anything else in the world. One of my best friends had a baby about a year and a half ago and she used to be an extremely selfish person herself, everything changed, her child is the very most important thing in her life. I don't mean to say there aren't exceptions but probably anyone who you'd want to get into a serious relationship with would put her child ahead of anyone else. If not, I think there are some other issues that you wouldn't want to get involved with.

 

[Mariposa]

Yikes! I'm sorry to hear that! Yes there are most certainly broken homes with selfish parents. I just know the majority of my friends and parents/parents friends who have kids would put their kids before anything else in the world. One of my best friends had a baby about a year and a half ago and she used to be an extremely selfish person herself, everything changed, her child is the very most important thing in her life. I don't mean to say there aren't exceptions but probably anyone who you'd want to get into a serious relationship with would put her child ahead of anyone else. If not, I think there are some other issues that you wouldn't want to get involved with.

It's OK now. I respect both my parents. They are wonderful. Divorce and breakups are really difficult. Children have such a pure and natural love, they need our love and guidance whether or not we ourselves are parents.

I'm glad to read that your friend has her priorities in order. I agree with your point that someone who does not put their child first is not someone I would want to associate with, much less date.

Animal Mother, I hope you can have a nice conversation with this woman. Have you seen her again?

 

[ilikestims]

Dude, I don't have approach anxiety.

then approach and figure it out... a woman with a kid is still a woman. same desires, attractions, turn-offs.

the kid part doesn't even come into play until you've established a relationship with the woman. the dynamic is too unique to address the aspect in theory; it's a case-by-case thing. have you? is this a specific example or theory?

 

[Animal Mother]

No. I'll never see her again. But I had never been in that situation before, and wanted insight for the future. Now, I've got it too.

her child was probably 7 or 8. She kept him company and played every game with him. She was beautiful and was obviously very warmed by the child's presence. I could just see her glowing with love. I've never been so attracted to that in my life.

I didn't know for sure if she was single, but I'd have put my money on yes. It kind of felt like she hadn't seen him in a while. Also, her attire made me feel that way too.

 

[Animal Mother]

then approach and figure it out... a woman with a kid is still a woman. same desires, attractions, turn-offs.

the kid part doesn't even come into play until you've established a relationship with the woman. the dynamic is too unique to address the aspect in theory; it's a case-by-case thing. have you? is this a specific example or theory?

a woman with an open sore on her lip is still a woman too. Same desires, attractions, turn-offs, different fucking situation. But hey, player, if you can't see that, I'll let you take care of open sore girl, whilst I entertain some one else.

 

[missmeyet?]

/\...lol...agreed.

The biggest thing (as a single mom) would just be friendly, don't say anything that might be too forward and freak the kid out and don't be too overbearing or pushy. If my son and I were playing a video game in the bowling alley I probably wouldn't mind a guy coming up and saying something along the lines of..."wow, pretty hes good at that" then you can get a feel for how she responds.

To the above poster...the kids do not only come into play later on. If I have my child with me then some approaches that I might be amused with otherwise I will not be comfortable with if my child is with me.

As long as you don't come across as TOO interested in the kid (don't want to come across as a chester or anything) but at same time acknowledge the kid..I like that. If some guy approaches me and doesn't even acknowledge my son (either directly or indirectly) then honestly I might be a little put off..