Stimulants Appreciate help and information to help me to achieve my desire effect.

[babylon73]

Hi and good day everyone, English is not my native language so I will try to make it short and simple also pls pardon me if my Grammer gives u headache :x

I used to smoke meth a alot mainly for competitive gaming.
I really enjoy the focus, full hearing alertness, focus and the mental processing prediction it gave me when I was gaming. I was young and was on it full time during probably 24-26+. Eventually I came to a stop because of how badly it was affecting my life, that I really dont even feel like eating and fainted quite a few times. I continue competitive gaming for years without meth..

I am 36 now, I can feel my reaction time and brain processing in game is so bad now even compare to a year or two ago. I am also no longer even anywhere near the standard of joining any tournament at all. I even lost interest in gaming overall. I don't feel the joy of playing it nor the motivation.. this is where I think it ends for me, however recently I started LSD, 200ug and 300ug, somemore I enjoy it on gaming more than tripping, zen, and partying. It gave me x2 feel of what I recall when I was on meth, literally all the performance and all my muscle reflex, mental processing prediction logic are all back, I couldn't believe it. I nv thought I will ever feel this again and I really enjoy it.

I am diagnosed with major depression and have ongoing treatment with effoxor xr, I find it helps but have stop taking it since few weeks ago because I felt it just doesn't shut off my brain even when I was aslp, despite having insomia, my phychiatris only give me atarax and refuse to give me anything else..

I don't go out, I do not have friends except my teammates, i hv a stable job and I basically do not interest in anything except gaming and movie.. I really want this feeling when I game, sadly my LSD dealer had gone missing.

I recently learn about aderall, modvigil and Ritalin, i have tried modvigil, modvigil 200mg doesn't work good for me and I am constantly on 400mg now, however all I got from it was awakeness and a bit of motivation. I still can't make use of my hearing and mental processing. And I use nitrazepam 5mg to help me to sleep at night.

I have no access to Adderall here only Ritalin which I have not try yet. So my question is should I give Ritalin a try? Can it gives me what I desire ?

 

[Antiprosynthesis]

I think that could help but if you really want to perform on a higher level I would choose speed...

 

[Atomic_Decay]

Hi and good day everyone, English is not my native language so I will try to make it short and simple also pls pardon me if my Grammer gives u headache :x

I used to smoke meth a alot mainly for competitive gaming.
I really enjoy the focus, full hearing alertness, focus and the mental processing prediction it gave me when I was gaming. I was young and was on it full time during probably 24-26+. Eventually I came to a stop because of how badly it was affecting my life, that I really dont even feel like eating and fainted quite a few times. I continue competitive gaming for years without meth..

I am 36 now, I can feel my reaction time and brain processing in game is so bad now even compare to a year or two ago. I am also no longer even anywhere near the standard of joining any tournament at all. I even lost interest in gaming overall. I don't feel the joy of playing it nor the motivation.. this is where I think it ends for me, however recently I started LSD, 200ug and 300ug, somemore I enjoy it on gaming more than tripping, zen, and partying. It gave me x2 feel of what I recall when I was on meth, literally all the performance and all my muscle reflex, mental processing prediction logic are all back, I couldn't believe it. I nv thought I will ever feel this again and I really enjoy it.

I am diagnosed with major depression and have ongoing treatment with effoxor xr, I find it helps but have stop taking it since few weeks ago because I felt it just doesn't shut off my brain even when I was aslp, despite having insomia, my phychiatris only give me atarax and refuse to give me anything else..

I don't go out, I do not have friends except my teammates, i hv a stable job and I basically do not interest in anything except gaming and movie.. I really want this feeling when I game, sadly my LSD dealer had gone missing.

I recently learn about aderall, modvigil and Ritalin, i have tried modvigil, modvigil 200mg doesn't work good for me and I am constantly on 400mg now, however all I got from it was awakeness and a bit of motivation. I still can't make use of my hearing and mental processing. And I use nitrazepam 5mg to help me to sleep at night.

I have no access to Adderall here only Ritalin which I have not try yet. So my question is should I give Ritalin a try? Can it gives me what I desire ?

Ok. I think there are a couple of things to unpack in your question before anybody can give you good advice.

You have a few problems, but it is not clear which one you think Ritalin might fix:

1. Loss of interest in Gaming
2. Loss of performance in Gaming
3. Major Depression
4. Replacement for positive effects of LSD
5. Insomnia

Meth is definitely not going to fix any of those things and will worsen them all pretty quickly.

Ritalin is a first line treatment for ADHD and may help you if you actually have ADHD.

But reduced reaction times in gaming is something that happens naturally with age. And as performance declines it is natural that interest declines also.

Is it possible that you have made gaming too big a part of your life?

 

[Eligiu]

Ok. I think there are a couple of things to unpack in your question before anybody can give you good advice.

You have a few problems, but it is not clear which one you think Ritalin might fix:

1. Loss of interest in Gaming
2. Loss of performance in Gaming
3. Major Depression
4. Replacement for positive effects of LSD
5. Insomnia

Meth is definitely not going to fix any of those things and will worsen them all pretty quickly.

Ritalin is a first line treatment for ADHD and may help you if you actually have ADHD.

But reduced reaction times in gaming is something that happens naturally with age. And as performance declines it is natural that interest declines also.

Is it possible that you have made gaming too big a part of your life?

I very strongly agree with this. I am prescribed Dexamphetamine and have been on Modafinil and armodafonil (all for narcolepsy) and also have inattentive ADHD. I was on 800mg a day Modafinil, 250mg armodafonil, and I'm on 30mg a day dexamphetamine.

They do help me focus, but not in an extreme hyperfocussed way. They just allow me to be alert and clear-headed enough to get stuff done when it needs to be done, instead of all in a rush when I need to be somewhere or just prior to it being due.

Taking stimulant and stimulant type medication when you don't medically need it is a quick way to face some really nasty unwanted consequences. I can go without my dexamphetamine if I want to, I just have to nap during the day at specific times which are also 'prescribed naps' that sleep specialists order you to do instead of gobbling down stimulants. So I do often go without, when I don't have anything major to get done. For the most part though I don't notice a massive difference on the medication now that the initial 'wow this is what normal people feel like I'm gonna go read a book' feeling wore off.

Why do you need this medication to game? As @Atomic_Decay said, is it possible that your ability to game has just decreased as you've aged? That type of thing isn't uncommon, there's a reason young kids dominate e-sports.

You may also have caused some mild ongoing issues from the meth abuse for that long, though people have used longer with no I'll effects. That is completely up in the air.

With your mental health diagnoses that explains the issues you're having with your life and gaming. Lack of interest in friends and social activities is a key feature of depression. Focussing on your gaming may be detrimental to your recovery from mental health issues. I'm not saying give it up completely, but perhaps change the way you approach it. Have you considered completely switching the types of games you play? My old housemate tried to get me into gaming with him on steam early during the year when my relapse was bad, I wasn't into it. But I bought animal crossing on switch on a whim and I got addicted to that instead. Now I even play with some people from the forums. I even bought a second switch by saving the money I was spending on drugs to be able to have a full console version to link to the TV instead of the handheld one I originally bought so I can play multiplayer games with friends. Now I'm gaming more, socially, and using less drugs. Far less. All by just having a different view on gaming. It's actually brought things into my life, but I can put it down when I need to. Its value added.

I encourage you to maybe try that, if it might help. There's loads of games to choose from and I'm sure something new might completely reshape how you perceive your gaming as being negative as they will be brand new games.

I think it's also wise to incorporate some balance into your life so try to socialise more even if it's just one on one or for a short period of time. My mental health is currently still in the bin from major burnout last year and I can usually only meet up with a friend socially for 30-45 min before I'm too tired from chatting and need to head home. But I try because I know it's important.

I also go for a walk every week with my mum. You don't need to pick your mum, it could be by yourself but getting out of the house is a huge mental health benefit. Maybe a friend could join you.

I do hope some of this helps. Stimulants are really not an advisable solution here.

 

[babylon73]

Thank you all for the helpful insight and experience. I do think taking a walk, or going out sometimes will help as it is advise everytime by my doctor. However having the medical condition I have makes it hard for me, never the less I will still try my very best.
I think I will stop taking anything for now except nitrazepam for sleeping aids at night (I have really bad sleeping schedule, without any medication aids, I wake up almost every hourly at night)

The only reason for this post is that, I find myself really lost and my mind cannot decide on anything at all. I find that nth in this world motivate me anymore, I have interest in opposite sex, money, food, nth at all.. I do not know what to do everyday. After Im done with my job daily and all I can try to to occupy myself after work is to find myself back to gaming which I did not have any feel for now =( So I just toss around my bed and watch utube which I dont finish watching it anyway, changing video after watching each one for 15 second or less XD

Since I am major depression (a long time), psychotic and possible ocd diagnosed since I was 15, I really think the choices I have made throughout my life had been affecting me much (meth, mdma, lsd), I have a few more months until my next appointment and I hope my doc will reasset my situation.

Once again thank you all for the insights.