xxsicknessxx
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2008
- Messages
- 1,015
So I go in for body scan to check my muscles. Only to find out for the third month in a row I lost muscle almost ten pounds. I'm now in the danger zone so to speak. I'm tired my body isn't working like it should I'm in terrible pain. Now I will say I get four norcos a day, I get ativan once a day and beside that I take copper, a multi vit. Please my blood tests are bad about twenty tests are low five high and one my white blood count says aleart! So I feel strange I have become so used to this new way of feeling that I've forgoton what it is like to be normal. So what am I doing? In two weeks I talk to my gastric bypass doctor so all my hopes on that he knows what's wrong because none of my current doctors do. I think my coppers so low it dragged down all my blood counts and my thyroid and everything could be from that. I've only been taking copper for two weeks and I'm waiting for my doctor to get my blood tests results. I dunno why I'm writing this. It's just I have all these things that used to make me happy, pain meds, weed, money, time.. But it's all become worthless, I'm sad, alone, I can't meet a girl in this state, and with my muscle dropping I know feel like I'm dying. The only thing I can think to ask is there some kind of doctor I could see today who might help? I'm thinking hospital or something. Because this isn't right, I can't live life this for ever, I won't, I'll buy a pound of crystal meth and fently and do it all in a week to end it if this is my fate. I dunno what do I do? What if I can't work out enough to save myself. Right now I'm waiting for someone else to fix my problems I want to know wtf is wrong with me and I'm getting furious being told it'll cost me 300$to see my doctor and I have to wait two weeks. My birthdays in a week doesn't that count for something. I want health for my birthday. I didn't get sober to die from being sober which is how I feel. Can anyone cheer me up. I'm so alone covids not helping and my family's just unloving plus my brother and sister do hard drugs so they don't help me. I'll be ok. I just needed to complain, incase whatevers going on kills me at least there's a record.