Bomb319
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2011
- Messages
- 583
Obviously I wouldn't be surprised if this were true because of the dangers I know are associated with all three. I just want to be sure if this is a potential or common complication and if so, how quickly it can develop.
So anyway, I had a routine eye exam complete with an Optomap retinal scan. Apparently, a small spot of my retina in my right eye and peripheral vision, looked as if it were thinning and undergoing atrophy for some reason. I've never had any serious eye problems before except for common myopia (which I corrected with LASIK back in 2007 or 2008; I thought this could have been the culprit due to the high pressure it puts on your eyes, but the doctor said no). This was showing on my scan history and seems to have developed over a couple years.
At my most recent appointment, my doctor saw my latest scan and wanted to send me to a specialist because he thought it looked as though it could be torn in that spot (I can't see anything unusual at all, even if I try to focus on it by using averted vision). So I go to the retinal doctor, who tells me not to worry because "it's very unlikely to be an actual tear at my age, and having no problems before or playing any contact sports". He does the exam, and...guesswhat?
Not only did I "have a retinal tear without a doubt", he told me that it was in a very bad spot of the retina. It had to be fixed immediately because he said that it will cause a retinal detachment - not a matter of IF but WHEN, and it could go at any time! For those who don't know, this is a medical emergency and very likely to cause blindness - especially if you are not treated immediately, and I live in a relatively small city. Now here's the really fun part (SQUEAMISH PEOPLE STAY AWAY!) I had to have a procedure done right there in his office, that uses a powerful laser to literally burn and destroy retinal tissue that surrounds the tear. This is supposed to help prevent any possible detachment by essentially cauterizing it which affixes it to the attached tissue behind it. He said it's like torn wallpaper - eventually as moisture gets behind the tear, it will spread behind it which weakens the retina's structural integrity and causing detachment.
He told me not to worry. "It won't hurt because 95% of people don't actually have pain receptors in their retinas". Pardon my language, but
BULL. FUCKING. SHIT.
At first, it didn't hurt at all, and just looked like a very, VERY bright uncomfortable light. I thought I was getting off easy. After ten seconds or so, he says "nope, this isn't doing anything...I'm going to have to raise the power". And raise the power, he did. Imagine having someone stick metal clamps in your eyes to pry them open, force you to stare directly into a welder's torch brighter than the sun - but not being able to move at all, lest the laser zap surrounding, unnecessary retina including the possiblity of my fovea of the macula - which would essentially make me blind. So I suffer in quite severe pain as he traces a circle of burning, sizzling retinal tissue to surround the tear. Not only was I being blinded, I could SMELL my burning retinal tissue as it vaporized and I could see smoke billowing from somewhere with my other eye. Fun. Note that none of this is ANYTHING like LASIK where the computer tracks your eye movements making it impossible to screw up and hit the wrong spot. It is also only your cornea that gets ablated in these procedures...imagine having the most important part of the eye fried right there. The doctor used no computer or anything for this - just his hand guiding the laser around it as if he were carving it with a scalpel.
Long story not short, my eye hurt like hell for several hours after. I also had a literally burned-in bright afterimage of the laser pulsing at different spots. This effect was strong enough to blind me that eye for hours afterwords. It was incredibly nerve-wracking because while I was blind, I had no idea whether or not he might have actually made some sort of mistake, and that it would be permenent. Not one of my better experiences, let me tell you that...fast forward to today. I have no lasting effect except horrible memories..lol. Both eyes see well, I can't notice any problems with my vision, which is still generally good from the LASIK I had (right eye 20/20, left eye close to that at about 22/20 or 23/20). I'm obviously very thankful for that. So now here's the thing: I have ALWAYS suspected that my horrible IV addiction which was years of hell, had done this to me. You always hear about how badly tiny, unseen particles in your water while IVing can cause serious problems by blocking small capillaries or whatnot. At my lowest, I had IVed many, many Dilaudids, fewer but still at LEAST a hundred (prob many more) Oxys over those years, also a sick amount of H - yet I began that much later than the Dillies as well, and also cocaine. There were a handful of other substances I used much less, but it was Dilaudids I preferred and used nearly from the beginning. I was relatively careful though - I generally would never shoot up visible particles. I only used clean water (you would not believe the shit I've seen people use to shoot up) and although absolutely nowhere NEAR as careful as I should have been (it isn't often easy to have access to everything you should use. Also, you really just stop giving a shit after awhile. If you're sick and craving, you'll do it right away in the gutter of you have to...).
To this day, I still have no idea if that was the real cause of what happened. I haven't seen any specific info claiming this is a common or even possible side effect. All doctors involved told me that it just happens naturally in some people, although they did NOT have any idea of what I had been using and how. I just figured that considering the many hundreds of pills I shot over time had caused particles to block one or more blood vessels in my eye, leading to tissue starvation and atrophy. I thought I was being pretty careful compared to most other people I've seen, and I at least always sanitized my needles as best I could and washed out the plungers. I never shared them except just ONE incident where I was with a friend who had definitlely NOT been using long before, with a clean lifestyle and all. It was the only one available at that time. However, I still used it to suck up hydrogen peroxide first, washed all parts with it repeatedly, rinsed in the hottest water from the tap, and waited a bit before doing it. I also would try my best to get micron filters if I could - but I didn't even know about them or start using them for several years, and they are often hard or impossible to get. Especially since I had no money for buying shit online.
So I guess the moral of all this would be...don't inject pills....seems a bit anticlimactic after all that lol...If this episode was indeed directly caused by this especially. I STILL don't know that at all, and could use your guys' input if you either know about it or have had it happen to you or someone you know. I had been shooting pills for roughly 2.5 years up to the time the tear formed or was discovered, so that seems early and possibly NOT related, but who knows. Thanks for reading. I know this is really long :/
So anyway, I had a routine eye exam complete with an Optomap retinal scan. Apparently, a small spot of my retina in my right eye and peripheral vision, looked as if it were thinning and undergoing atrophy for some reason. I've never had any serious eye problems before except for common myopia (which I corrected with LASIK back in 2007 or 2008; I thought this could have been the culprit due to the high pressure it puts on your eyes, but the doctor said no). This was showing on my scan history and seems to have developed over a couple years.
At my most recent appointment, my doctor saw my latest scan and wanted to send me to a specialist because he thought it looked as though it could be torn in that spot (I can't see anything unusual at all, even if I try to focus on it by using averted vision). So I go to the retinal doctor, who tells me not to worry because "it's very unlikely to be an actual tear at my age, and having no problems before or playing any contact sports". He does the exam, and...guesswhat?
Not only did I "have a retinal tear without a doubt", he told me that it was in a very bad spot of the retina. It had to be fixed immediately because he said that it will cause a retinal detachment - not a matter of IF but WHEN, and it could go at any time! For those who don't know, this is a medical emergency and very likely to cause blindness - especially if you are not treated immediately, and I live in a relatively small city. Now here's the really fun part (SQUEAMISH PEOPLE STAY AWAY!) I had to have a procedure done right there in his office, that uses a powerful laser to literally burn and destroy retinal tissue that surrounds the tear. This is supposed to help prevent any possible detachment by essentially cauterizing it which affixes it to the attached tissue behind it. He said it's like torn wallpaper - eventually as moisture gets behind the tear, it will spread behind it which weakens the retina's structural integrity and causing detachment.
He told me not to worry. "It won't hurt because 95% of people don't actually have pain receptors in their retinas". Pardon my language, but
BULL. FUCKING. SHIT.
At first, it didn't hurt at all, and just looked like a very, VERY bright uncomfortable light. I thought I was getting off easy. After ten seconds or so, he says "nope, this isn't doing anything...I'm going to have to raise the power". And raise the power, he did. Imagine having someone stick metal clamps in your eyes to pry them open, force you to stare directly into a welder's torch brighter than the sun - but not being able to move at all, lest the laser zap surrounding, unnecessary retina including the possiblity of my fovea of the macula - which would essentially make me blind. So I suffer in quite severe pain as he traces a circle of burning, sizzling retinal tissue to surround the tear. Not only was I being blinded, I could SMELL my burning retinal tissue as it vaporized and I could see smoke billowing from somewhere with my other eye. Fun. Note that none of this is ANYTHING like LASIK where the computer tracks your eye movements making it impossible to screw up and hit the wrong spot. It is also only your cornea that gets ablated in these procedures...imagine having the most important part of the eye fried right there. The doctor used no computer or anything for this - just his hand guiding the laser around it as if he were carving it with a scalpel.
Long story not short, my eye hurt like hell for several hours after. I also had a literally burned-in bright afterimage of the laser pulsing at different spots. This effect was strong enough to blind me that eye for hours afterwords. It was incredibly nerve-wracking because while I was blind, I had no idea whether or not he might have actually made some sort of mistake, and that it would be permenent. Not one of my better experiences, let me tell you that...fast forward to today. I have no lasting effect except horrible memories..lol. Both eyes see well, I can't notice any problems with my vision, which is still generally good from the LASIK I had (right eye 20/20, left eye close to that at about 22/20 or 23/20). I'm obviously very thankful for that. So now here's the thing: I have ALWAYS suspected that my horrible IV addiction which was years of hell, had done this to me. You always hear about how badly tiny, unseen particles in your water while IVing can cause serious problems by blocking small capillaries or whatnot. At my lowest, I had IVed many, many Dilaudids, fewer but still at LEAST a hundred (prob many more) Oxys over those years, also a sick amount of H - yet I began that much later than the Dillies as well, and also cocaine. There were a handful of other substances I used much less, but it was Dilaudids I preferred and used nearly from the beginning. I was relatively careful though - I generally would never shoot up visible particles. I only used clean water (you would not believe the shit I've seen people use to shoot up) and although absolutely nowhere NEAR as careful as I should have been (it isn't often easy to have access to everything you should use. Also, you really just stop giving a shit after awhile. If you're sick and craving, you'll do it right away in the gutter of you have to...).
To this day, I still have no idea if that was the real cause of what happened. I haven't seen any specific info claiming this is a common or even possible side effect. All doctors involved told me that it just happens naturally in some people, although they did NOT have any idea of what I had been using and how. I just figured that considering the many hundreds of pills I shot over time had caused particles to block one or more blood vessels in my eye, leading to tissue starvation and atrophy. I thought I was being pretty careful compared to most other people I've seen, and I at least always sanitized my needles as best I could and washed out the plungers. I never shared them except just ONE incident where I was with a friend who had definitlely NOT been using long before, with a clean lifestyle and all. It was the only one available at that time. However, I still used it to suck up hydrogen peroxide first, washed all parts with it repeatedly, rinsed in the hottest water from the tap, and waited a bit before doing it. I also would try my best to get micron filters if I could - but I didn't even know about them or start using them for several years, and they are often hard or impossible to get. Especially since I had no money for buying shit online.
So I guess the moral of all this would be...don't inject pills....seems a bit anticlimactic after all that lol...If this episode was indeed directly caused by this especially. I STILL don't know that at all, and could use your guys' input if you either know about it or have had it happen to you or someone you know. I had been shooting pills for roughly 2.5 years up to the time the tear formed or was discovered, so that seems early and possibly NOT related, but who knows. Thanks for reading. I know this is really long :/
