Benzos Anyone else been using benzos for 10+ years?

[Animoe]

Thank you! I will definitely check it out! ANY suggestions from ANYONE that thinks they may be able to help are beyond welcomed. And I am for sure going to do my research on that "Flumanezil".. I am also agoraphobic and reclusive to the point that I stay in my room for days at a time. I won't even go outside except to go to my mailbox to get packages.

I'm paranoid as all hell, constantly looking out my window, convinced I'm being watched and that it's only a matter of time until I'm taken in. And it sucks because the more time I stay reclusive, the more reclusive I become. Every time I hear a knock at the door I go straight into a panic attack and am SURE that it's LE coming for me. The ONLY time I don't feel so paranoid and anxious is when I'm heavily sedated, recently it's been dissociatives like 3-MeO-PCP/PCE, O-PCE Etc. that have been keeping me sedated but it's only a matter of time before I get addicted to those too...

But really, thank you. I will take ANY advice that ANYONE thinks may be helpful.

What do you mean by "complex"? I have been diagnosed with schizophrenic tendency disorder or some shit like that on top of pretty much every anxiety disorder there is, panic disorder and some other shit I can't recall right now.

 

[Animoe]

Oh my hell!!!!! That Flumanezil, given in a medical setting sounds like it may be my ticket out!!!! I'm definitely going to follow up on this! THANK YOU SOOOO FUCKING MUCH!!! HA! wow! For the first time since this bullshit started I feel like there may be a way out with this!!!!!

SERIOUSLY THANK YOU SO SINCERELY!!! I'm literally tearing up right now because I feel like that may be my ticket out of this hell!!! THANK YOU!!!!!

 

[skn]

skn...Firstly, my condolences for the loss of your friends. That's a tough one.

.

I don't technically have cancer, but my disease (stage 4) mimics cancer. I lost my best friend in Feb to cancer. He was obtaining my MMJ for me, as I tested different strains. I no longer have access, so there goes that HOPE for pain relief.

Jekyl...I craved the taste of lead back in 1987, when my health went into a death spiral. I still keep that option close to the vest...Don't know how much longer I can endure.

that's unfortunate...if you look around the net there are plenty of people selling it, if you still can't find any pm me and I can maybe help you out. Youd have to be quite computer savvy though. ANd anyway, who cares about marijuana if you have oxy? 8(

 

[keeping]

Thank you! I will definitely check it out! ANY suggestions from ANYONE that thinks they may be able to help are beyond welcomed. And I am for sure going to do my research on that "Flumanezil".. I am also agoraphobic and reclusive to the point that I stay in my room for days at a time. I won't even go outside except to go to my mailbox to get packages.

I'm paranoid as all hell, constantly looking out my window, convinced I'm being watched and that it's only a matter of time until I'm taken in. And it sucks because the more time I stay reclusive, the more reclusive I become. Every time I hear a knock at the door I go straight into a panic attack and am SURE that it's LE coming for me. The ONLY time I don't feel so paranoid and anxious is when I'm heavily sedated, recently it's been dissociatives like 3-MeO-PCP/PCE, O-PCE Etc. that have been keeping me sedated but it's only a matter of time before I get addicted to those too...

But really, thank you. I will take ANY advice that ANYONE thinks may be helpful.

What do you mean by "complex"? I have been diagnosed with schizophrenic tendency disorder or some shit like that on top of pretty much every anxiety disorder there is, panic disorder and some other shit I can't recall right now.

np man anytime.


and a complex is a sort of ingrained negative thought or feeling that recurs often. but check this out just read it in one of those articles i linked you (its a bit of a chunk).

"For users of high doses of benzodiazepines hospitalisation should be imposed to manage the discontinuation of treatment. The traditional approach in these cases generally involves replacement by a long half-life benzodiazepines with decreasing doses, but this procedure is burdened by high costs for the length of the hospitalization, and by a high percentage of dropouts and relapses. It is an area in which the use of flumazenil as a slow infusion is indicated.Flumazenil, via rapid parenteral administration, is used around the world to treat benzodiazepine overdoses. It is in fact considered to be a benzodiazepine antagonist. Experimental data, however, has demonstrated that if flumazenil is administered slowly an in a prolonged way to patients with benzodiazepine tolerance, its action is partial agonism of the benzodiazepine receptors, significantly reducing the signs and symptoms of withdrawal. When used for benzodiazepine detoxification in tolerant patients, flumazenil has shown the following pharmacological actions:

• rapid relief of the signs and symptoms of withdrawal;
• rapid normalization and up-regulation of benzodiazepine receptors;
• reduction of craving;
• limited relapse rates."

sort of seems a bit iffy but there's got to be some inherent risk in dealing with a mammoth tolerance like yours.

 

[keeping]

Oh my hell!!!!! That Flumanezil, given in a medical setting sounds like it may be my ticket out!!!! I'm definitely going to follow up on this! THANK YOU SOOOO FUCKING MUCH!!! HA! wow! For the first time since this bullshit started I feel like there may be a way out with this!!!!!

SERIOUSLY THANK YOU SO SINCERELY!!! I'm literally tearing up right now because I feel like that may be my ticket out of this hell!!! THANK YOU!!!!!

more than happy to help good buddy (y)

 

[Animoe]

I did read that article! Thats the first sign of hope I've been given that makes me think that there is a way out of this. I'm seriously so grateful I can't even put it into words.. Thank you so much, really thank you.

 

[danglesmcgee]

ya dude it sounds like you really havnt been getting the correct medical care. Have you ever been prescribed seroquel? that can work wonders for anxiety. Theres alot of other things that can treat your seizures, beta blockers? also, you may have always had epilepsy and your drug abuse was the trigger that brought it to the surface. Have you ever had a EEG? have you ever seen a neurologist? theres all kinds of things they can do. like for example a electrode implant. there is alot of technology and new ways for treating such things. medically prepared THC oil, high in the compound CBD has been shown to stop seizures in children. Have you ever been prescribed valproic acid or the like? also, these pharmacists are now coming out with these new forms of benzos, called thienotriazolodiazepine. ...the objective is to stop this god awful dependence problem and drugs like etizolam are showing promising signs. perhaps you may need something like that, its better then what your doing now.
And also, depending on which country your in, you may actually get the treatment you need in jail because legally they have to, no matter the cost. especially if your having seizures everyday....thats a massive legal liability to any jail, they wont house you if your having seizures that severe. likely the judge will send you for help.


i dont know, your symptoms just sound waaay to severe to be from benzo abuse, i use to counsel recovering benzo addicts and ive never heard of symptoms so bad. ive helped people who were abusing benzos for 20+ years and didnt respond like this....i think you have a undiagnosed neurological disorder, but everybody just assumes its from benzo abuse and so they leave it at that. you need a very very long taper plan, EEG, MRi, everything.

i hope you find yourself again pal :D chin up, you got a problem you got to solve it now.

 

[Boku_]

If ANYONE has any idea of what I should do to get off the benzos, please please let me know. They have ruined my life and I can't seem to ween myself off them.. I feel like I kinda really fucked myself permanently on this one...

And if you DON'T believe me, just pretend that this is a hypothetical scenario and tell me what you would do. Please, I'm desperate.

As others have recommended in earlier post you really need to be admitted to an acute mental health hospital ward as a inpatient in the secluded high dependence section of the mental health ward. Only a taper under medical supervision would be safe and as for how long only a Doctor treating you day to day week to week could decide.

If i was you i would front up to my local city hospital emergency department with a bag of your benzo stash and explain to the ER doctors your daily level of benzo use. The doctors would have to be bound to provide you some sort of assistance to taper off safely.

Be safe Animoe and good luck

 

[Morninggloryseed]

Been on daily scripted benzos since 2004. First temazapam, then ativan, now on valium. I actually take less than ever....started off on 20mg temazapam, went up to 60mg ( dunno how i talked the doc into this) but he grew uncomfortable giving me that...(and the adderall, and the suboxone) so gradually brought me back to sane levels, then switched to ativan @ 2mg. Gradually went down to 1mg, and just switched to 5mg valium...and on my own went down to 2.5mg. I have little anxiety anymore so working to take valium as needed instead of nightly.

 

[Morninggloryseed]

Should add that benzos dont make me high, i dont abuse them, I dont like the way they make me feel during the day. My dose is always right before bed. I guess Im not a downer fan, beyond a couple beers a week.

 

[DixiChik]

morninggloryseed...LOVE your username! I grow those vines every summer with "Heavenly Blue" blooms that are almost purple. My uncle grew the most magnificent country gardens. He shared his vast (self-taught) knowledge with me, allowing me to grow Sunflowers, Zinnias, Morning Glory Vines, Angel Trumpets, etc. Funny, but not ha-ha, I've read recently that a couple of those plants might produce more than a breath-taking photo!

He committed suicide in 2001. My husband and I picked my uncle's own flowers to blanket his casket. I had once told him that "if his (Mammoth) Sunflowers didn't make you smile, you didn't have a heart". I possess his legacy through my garden...spring cottontails and all! I saw the first bunny of the season yesterday. I smiled through the tears.

OT: Me, too. I have to have mental clarity throughout the day. I only take Ativan to "put me down" at night. Otherwise, my anxiety would never let me sleep. I can't take daytime doses unless shit really hits the fan, and I can't duck or hit the "off" switch.

skn...I don't trust easily and I've always been afraid of the dark.

Animoe...sending positive vibes for the answers you seek!

 

[Animoe]

I had only ever had one seizure before I started abusing benzos. I was 4 though. I'm 27 now. I've had a loooot of concussions in my life and I used to fight a lot, they were mostly crew fights against other crews.

I ended up getting jumped by 17 guys (2 rival crews vs me.). I got hit in the head with a crowbar, baseball bat and machete along with some broken ribs and I getting kneecapped with a tire iron. During that one time I got jumped I got 4 concussions and a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) which made all my mental disorders a lot worse, which is when I started using drugs. It started out with H then I found benzos and just went overboard.. I've been to 12 psych facilities/detox centers (some more than once).

I've also tried antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, SSRI's, MAOI's, SRI's, etc.. the only one of those that did ANYTHING was Citalopram, but it didn't do much. The only things I've found that helped my anxieties etc. were Narcotics. The first time I tried H was the first time I'd ever felt 'Normal'. No anxiety, no ruminating thoughts, I just felt normal. So I ended up getting addicted to H and it all went downhill from there. When I became addicted to H and needed it just to stop withdrawals, I found benzos. The benzos did what the H did at first and made me feel normal again. But then the benzos got out of control to the point of where I'm at now.. I'm going to talk to my Suboxone Dr. about that medicine mentioned earlier and tell him what's been going on and see if he can help.

I'm also broke as shit and have no insurance so I don't know how I could afford all those tests you recommended.. But I will bring that up with my Dr as well and see what he thinks about all this. He's very understanding so I think that may be my best approach to all this...

 

[Animoe]

Thank you everyone. I'm sincerely grateful for all of your advice. For the first time since I've been like this I feel like there's hope.

 

[keeping]

But then the benzos got out of control to the point of where I'm at now.. I'm going to talk to my Suboxone Dr. about that medicine mentioned earlier and tell him what's been going on and see if he can help.

I'm also broke as shit and have no insurance so I don't know how I could afford all those tests you recommended.. But I will bring that up with my Dr as well and see what he thinks about all this. He's very understanding so I think that may be my best approach to all this...

damn i forget sometimes how lucky i am that i live in a country with a national health system in place
seriously the amount of medical bills i would have racked up (especially my little four month inpatient stay in hospital circa 2015) would be stratospheric.
i hope he's heard of that flunitzeral or whatever its called, because i certainly hadn't

but surely they can do something for you - i mean, it really seems like its gone somewhat beyond your typical benzo addiction, this is quite honestly the most extreme one i've heard of...

((positive vibes positive vibes))

 

[OntarioGuy]

Here in Canada I presented myself to the Emergency department while suffering severe benzo withdrawal (20+ mgs of alprazolam/clonazepam or equal per day) I had already had a seizure at home and informed them of this.
After speaking with the triage nurse and doctor, explaining my habit, I was IV'd 40 mgs of diazepam. Followed by another 40, then 30 mgs. I was then quite comfortable. I was admitted to the hospital to a private room. The next day I spoke with a small team of doctors, I was kept in the hospital for 27-28 days while the doctors stabilized me on a once daily dose of 100 mgs of diazepam.
I then tapered from 100 mgs to 0.5 mgs over the next 2 years before jumping off at 0.5 mgs of diazepam with the help of 50 mg lyrica capsules.

I am relating this story to show that (in Canada at least) when it comes to severe benzodiazepine dependency and withdrawal, most hospitals and doctors don't fuck around. If you wanna taper, most are more then happy to help u do so, IME anyways

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

If you still have any access to a doctor you might want to look into Phenytoin, Carbamazepine or even gabapentin. All anti seizure meds that could help keep you from seizures if your supply of benzos is interrupted. They are not feel good meds and have some unpleasant side effects but might help with preventing a grand mal that could have the potential of causing brain damage. I wish you luck with the Flumazenil Detox as it really does sound promising. Italy has had very good success rates with it.

 

[Ne0]

15 years here, but not daily use. I usually use 1-3 weeks daily then stop for 1-6 months and then start again, tolerances zero again and it all feels nice. I do use mainly them for anxiety but also recreational (only ones seems to give me nice buzz are oxazepam, etizolam and clonazepam, alprazolam nothing). I don't regret it, very good time and lots of help when need to deal with anxiety. Not planning to quit, unlesss I get rid of my anxiety for good.

 

[adder]

I did read that article! Thats the first sign of hope I've been given that makes me think that there is a way out of this. I'm seriously so grateful I can't even put it into words.. Thank you so much, really thank you.

It's not my intention to spoil your hope here, but more than 3 years ago back when I was still on clonazepam and the situation looked hopeless as I could not imagine myself tapering off, I also dreamed about a miracle drug that would make the withdrawal much less painful, like flumazenil. There are also imidazenil and bretazenil that in theory should make tapering much easier after switching to them. If they are in some way less dangerous than full agonist benzodiazepines, then why aren't they actively pursued as future medicines? What I mean is that you should not wait for a substitute to be introduced onto the market like buprenorphine and methadone are used for opioid maintenance, clinical trials take many years and these drugs aren't even researched to be introduced as drugs. With flumazenil it might be easier to introduce it as a treatment for benzodiazepine dependence because it's already approved as a drug all around the world, but as the article linked on the previous page of this thread states there appears to be no interest in medicine to revolutionize treatment of benzodiazepine dependence.

I myself took benzodiazepines for ~9 years, started when I was 14. When I quit, it was truly a nightmare for the first month or two, and I couldn't imagine coping with the withdrawal before I eventually jumped off 10mg of clorazepate which I switched to during the last two weeks in a desperate attempt to ease withdrawal from clonazepam slowly coming up when my psychiatrist basically decided for me that I was ready to quit. Eventually it was a good decision and I'm happy now that it happened the way it did, but at that time I thought I would not make it. So my piece of advice to anyone who wants to quit benzodiazepines, do it! Start a proper taper schedule and work your way down until you're ready. In my experience clorazepate was a very useful substitute near the end of tapering, it felt very mild, took like an hour to start working but its effects lasted much longer than clonazepam for me. I'm not sure if it has much effect itself on benzodiazepine receptors, but it's metabolized into a long-acting nordazepam which is supposedly a partial agonist.

 

[Conky]

Thank you everyone. I'm sincerely grateful for all of your advice. For the first time since I've been like this I feel like there's hope.

Hope you're doing alright man

I'm thinking phenobarbital would be best for someone in your situation.

 

[Conky]

@AbbeyLee

suck it