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Anyone abused MDMA and is OK now? Any recovery?

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Dcoqo

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 9, 2019
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54
Hello everyone!

I would like to know about the experiences of regular MDMA consumers, whether you have felt long term consequences after your usage or not and, if so, if those subsided after a while.

In my case, I haven't used MDMA for a year now, but before that I used to roll once a month, sometimes more, sometimes less, for a couple of years. Despite of this, on October 2019 I went harder than usual, rolling 4 times, once every weekend, and taking around 5 or 6 pills altogether.

The last night I went out was October 31st. The next day the problems started, I couldn't sleep and I had a lot of anxiety. I decided to quit doing molly for good.

As you can see, it has been well over a year since then. Still, I continue to have trouble sleeping and, although I usually feel fine, on many occasions I get anxiety and panic for no reason.

I would like to know how many of you have gone through something similar and if i can expect recovery.

Thank you very much in advance.
 
I used high quality MDMA every second day for six months about 20 years ago. It left me with memory problems (which was kind of a plus because it eroded a lot of memories I had of trauma). I also struggled with depression and anxiety for about 5 years and had two episodes of low level psychosis. However, after about 10 years it all seemed to have gotten better except for the memory problems.

Problem I did have was not telling psychiatrists about the MDMA, and receiving all kinds of other diagnoses for other things as a result.
 
i have done over 150 rolls and finally quit just after my last binge in june 2020 where i consumed over 2.5 grams within 3 weeks. My memory is pretty fried from all the years probably made my depression and anxiety worse but i already had all those issues since i was a teen.

I would sometimes roll twice a week or twice in 3 days consuming huge amounts. My last comedown was sucidial for two months.

I would recommend exercise healthy eating to help in the road to recovery. trouble sleeping is something that has so many causes. I would recommend taking some magnesium for that along with natural passionflower etc supplments to help sleep and teas. Usually the cause is people getting to much screen time before bed.

I been on alot of drugs so i never know which one is causing all my problems but i will say mdma ruined me the most of all of them.

I would recommend looking into microdosing magic mushrooms that will repair your entire brain from the drug abuse of mdma.
 
I've told my store before and yes I started abusing ecstasy in about November of 2000 and I did it from about May of 2001 so that was about six or seven months of abuse sometimes the first time I did it I rode like 3 days apart and this was triple stacks back in Florida they were super strong and I did like two of them I snorted one of them and I was in and out of consciousness the come down was horrific back when I was 14 I was on the antidepressants and all these pills I don't even know what they were my doctor my parents had a psychiatrist give them to me for like ADHD and stuff and I would say the come down was worse than that I was crying it was so bad then again I abused it two days apart or three days apart and I use high doses after that I kept sometimes I would take a few weeks breaks then Brent then I would use it sometimes two or three times a week I remember using it every other day one time and on vacation in Florida again where the trip when double stacks where they were super strong and that's that's where I think like a lot of the good stuff came in I'm not sure maybe from another one's but keeping on track that stuff was much stronger we're talking about 2000 and 2001 early 2001 and late 2000 so yes and after all that I took a break and I started I didn't once again in November and it wasn't there so I don't think it was good stuff but but I'm not totally sure moving on it took me about I would say and I could be totally wrong in this it took me I would say about 2 years to fully recover and this is just me guessing because like right after that was making some really bad decisions actually right after I was the abuse I was making very good bad decisions hanging out with negative people and just I got into some trouble and stuff so yes and then after that I changed my life around so yes I do think it definitely affected my cognitive ability in certain areas my brain and it did abuse now I did take a 13-year break and then started again in 2015 and I at the most in 2017 I use I think four times and I had some bad serotonin syndrome from that and it could have been from mixing some stuff but nevertheless like four times was too much furthermore having said that the summarizing all this up yes for about 6 or 7 months I did abuse I use about 30 times in about 6 months and yes it was it was pretty bad so and it could be I could be wrong on on a lot of things I do think I don't think is a good idea cuz I was doing a logical stuff like using two frequently and I kind of knew I wasn't totally educated as I am now on it like take breaks and stuff like that I think I may have read on the internet like use once a month or something like that but I was reading a lot of stuff and people were using a lot back then and stuff so yeah
 
Atelier3 said:
I used high quality MDMA every second day for six months about 20 years ago. It left me with memory problems (which was kind of a plus because it eroded a lot of memories I had of trauma). I also struggled with depression and anxiety for about 5 years and had two episodes of low level psychosis. However, after about 10 years it all seemed to have gotten better except for the memory problems.

Problem I did have was not telling psychiatrists about the MDMA, and receiving all kinds of other diagnoses for other things as a result.
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Thanks! Are you ok from your depression and anxiety now?

Im glad to hear you got better, even if it took years. :)
 
Dcoqo said:
Thanks! Are you ok from your depression and anxiety now?

Im glad to hear you got better, even if it took years. :)
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Hi. Thanks very much. I’m pretty much free of depression and really only get anxiety after binging lots of stimulants for a long time and then stopping. Apart from memory problems I’m pretty ok psychologically. Although I should say that about 5 years ago when my anxiety was very high and resistant to other forms of drug treatment I did have 12 sessions of Electro Convulsive Therapy - which really cleaned it up (though may have given me more memory problems).
 
Atelier3 said:
Hi. Thanks very much. I’m pretty much free of depression and really only get anxiety after binging lots of stimulants for a long time and then stopping. Apart from memory problems I’m pretty ok psychologically. Although I should say that about 5 years ago when my anxiety was very high and resistant to other forms of drug treatment I did have 12 sessions of Electro Convulsive Therapy - which really cleaned it up (though may have given me more memory problems).
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I’m glad to hear your ok now, man. Depression is hard.
 
my personal experiences with life in general made me conclude. That although MDMA abuse takes a toll.

They pale in comparison to life changing events that are not chemically or plant induced. Things like being fucked behind your back by dr´ s employer's or your wife.

So don't over worry about a little drug abuse. Learn from it and be response able about it from now on.
 
I think you will get back to normal, but it takes time.

When I was around 23, me and my Fiancee loved ecstasy. We was both very stupid though, and for around 3 months nearly took it daily. We did start using more of it but lost the 'magic', was just a strange buzz in the end.

I am coming up to 31 now, I still suffer from anxiety and depression. I was very stupid though, I have rolled since and nicely, but every time now I leave quite a long time before I use it again, make sure to eat properly after, and do my best to keep fit. I am a recovering heroin addict and alcoholic so this is hard but possible, please just be careful.
 
1999-2010... every two weeks, occasionally wouldn't go out and consume anything for 3 weeks (that happened a few times every year).. always a minimum of 2-3 pills, anything up to a gram and a half of mdma. Have had mdma more recently, a couple of grams a year over the last 7 years.. no issues with my head, comedowns do last longer than they used to be, no issues with anxiety or depression... my previous years of anxiety were actually down to undiagnosed ADHD (now medicated with dexamphetamine). started taking mdma (and everything else) when i was 19 (99), now 40 years old
 
I abused the shit out of MDMA, using it to treat my Aspergers - got bad when I stopped 8 years ago.
Still actively worked in medicine back then, so I'm pretty knowledgeable about antipsychotics, antidepressants, neuroleptics, that i knew I would not try them.

Instead I microdosed psychotropes with help from the very amazing health scientist and therapist Hannes Kapuste. Did not take long. He also claimed, I would have never needed the MDMA, because we could have worked at treating the Autism with microdosing psychotropes, too. Huh.

I feel entirely normal, i guess. I don't take drugs, and I'm fine.
 
Yeah... I'm back to normal except memory as well. And just working/short-term memory, long-term is fine... if I manage to make something to long-term it stays. :)
 
I never chronically abused MDMA but I had some gnarly acute symptoms from a heavy night of poly drug use featuring quite a bit of MDMA.

It had been 6 hours since I last dosed anything and I was just chillin by the campfire at a festival at like 5 or 6 in the morning when I started
very strongly visually hallucinating. Trees looked like a reflection in water with oil and ripples in it. I was not at first overly alarmed by my
sudden strong tripping, but I was perplexed since I was aware I had taken nothing anytime recent enough to suddenly start tripping that hard.
Well, I was pretty worn out and ended up drifting off to sleep while I was in that state.
I had the weirdest dream.
In my dream I had to do a bunch of math while trying to keep track of complex directions. It all sort of fell apart in the dream and became chaos.
When I woke up it was as if I suffered a mild stroke.
My relationship with reality was muddled. I no longer understood what left and right even were. I could hardly mumble any sort of coherent sentence.
I could see my tent where my girlfriend was sleeping. It wasn't far, but that didn't even make sense. To me it was infinitely far even though it was right there.
When one of my camp mates woke up and came out of their tent to pee and found me like that she walked me to my tent.
My girlfriend woke up and realized I was in a bad place.
All I could mutter was "I fucked up. I fucked up"
She didn't know what to do. We were a long long way from any sort of proper medical facility.
Finally she asked what I needed.
"Sleep"
In that state I just had to trust that my brain would sort itself out. I would sleep it off and see if I was still fucked up when I woke up.
Luckily I felt pretty normal when I woke up, but those strokey effects blew my mind. I did have some bad depression after that for a bit and suffered my worse anxiety attack ever that week. Have notice markedly worse comedowns from molly since then too.
The brain has a pretty amazing ability to heal itself though.
As soon as you get those optimal healthy conditions down it will be right at work doing its thing healing right up.
All I can say is concentrate on your dietary, physical and mental health and give it time and trust things will get better.
 
Just the intention to get well is a good start. Don't be scared to go the doctor, or councelling if you need to. Lots of things in life can trigger anxiety and panic including drugs. I struggled with insomnia for years and tried lots of different things and the only long term cure for me I think is anti depressants. I've been on them for about 2 years now and I get plenty of sleep every night. But everyone is different and it's up to you to figure out what works for you.
 
December Flower said:
I abused the shit out of MDMA, using it to treat my Aspergers - got bad when I stopped 8 years ago.
Still actively worked in medicine back then, so I'm pretty knowledgeable about antipsychotics, antidepressants, neuroleptics, that i knew I would not try them.

Instead I microdosed psychotropes with help from the very amazing health scientist and therapist Hannes Kapuste. Did not take long. He also claimed, I would have never needed the MDMA, because we could have worked at treating the Autism with microdosing psychotropes, too. Huh.

I feel entirely normal, i guess. I don't take drugs, and I'm fine.
Click to expand...
I am really curious about your take on how the MDMA affected your ASD. Seems like a natural choice of therapies--did it work and if so, in what ways?
 
psicho said:
I am really curious about your take on how the MDMA affected your ASD. Seems like a natural choice of therapies--did it work and if so, in what ways?
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O yes, it did work wonders (before I screwed it up and took too much)
But by microdosing I got a series of positive effects
First of all it made processing social data much easier, as in, I don't have to pay that much attention in order to know if someone is well or not. It also helped me feel and interpret another's morphogenetic fields, so I'm able to "read a room", like the neurotypicals do :D
3rd: the panic attacks/sensory overloads have gotten rarer, not to mention less powerful. Not sure if that was the MDMA or acclimating to larger groups of people and loud music, but it helped a lot. Much easier for me to be outside without freaking out :)

It did however make some of my ticks much worse. I'm still happily paying that price, just thought one should be warned. It's a miracle worker on the empathogenic side, but it's still a dangerous drug and shouldn't be underestimated.
 
This thread has produced some frightening anecdotes.

That article linked seems to suggest even 1 dose could fuck your serotonergic system?

I actually had some MDMA lined up and ready to go for right now.
Last time I dosed was 2 weeks ago.

I said I'd browse this forum for any helpful tips before I dosed; and now that shit is going right back in the vial.

1x/3-months, at the fucking most after reading this shit.

Fuck that noise!
 
i did it every weekend for about 3 years straight

and then some other periods of long weekly streaks but usually never more than once a week during any weekly streak

twice i took too much and i wasn't right for about 2 weeks or so....both times it was about 10 hits in like a 12 hour period... i got kinda paranoid and i was very absent minded and if i was talking to somebody, i couldn't tell if what i was thinking was actually what i was saying - like i couldn't tell if i was actually saying my thoughts or not....it wasn't a good feeling but i bounced back....

and now look at me =D
 
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