funeralfather
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 14, 2022
- Messages
- 168
I’m pretty confusing so I’ve summed up my two questions in bold at the bottom, but I did want to give this some preface because I won’t have much time to talk
(Preface)
So I’m relatively back to opiate naïve levels especially for me and when I’ve used it hasn’t really been that serious but I no longer want to spend $40 a week or more kratom that barley works avicb I’ve been using pretty much daily for the past three years, intermittently using 60 mg of oxycodone when I could but sometimes this is the only medication that generally slows my brain down that I think I could come off Adderall and clonazepam, and just use that I also think I may have OUD that I haven’t spoke about to not get flagged in case I did need opiated
It’s gotten to the point that, if I can find something that works and gets paid for by my insurance, and may be worth trying out even versus the risk I could at least work with the doctor, and be honest with them about my constant reflection to take an opiate
That said I’m pretty much the black sheep status in my family , meaning I don’t wanna be fucked up or slurring around them, or nodding out making them worry luckily my family still trying to help me with a place to stay while my car is being repaired that said it’s at a business and there’s cameras all around, but it works for me and my lifestyle. Otherwise I just get an apartment
i’m pretty much fucked up all of my chances with their trust so if a sublingual will cause that to detoriate more, by appearing fucked up, we’re throwing up or nodding out , cause im pretty sure im pretty much still a low level user
I’d like to refrain from actions that would probably
result me having to sleep in my car and glamp in cold weather where I can’t turn it on for heat otherwise I would until it’s fixed which realistically, I don’t think we’ll be done before Thanksgiving, just due to the damage of the blowout
so I’m basically stuck in the situation and I was in 2018 and I feel stuck. I want to make the right choices. I want to see my family proud of me and actually be able to show them music without them thinking that it’s just drug fueled
I’d like to not worry my mother anymore or any of my other family as they’re all pretty much miles away and can’t help
Finally, I’d like to restore my friendship and trust with a previous relationship which I’ve just allow my addictions to be put first
realize the supervision needs to be given with a doctor and he shouldn’t just put patch in your mouth, without any sort of supervision, but this is the best I got in regardless, I still have the patches and I’ll still probably have some point where I’ll at least try one before I throw them away. If I don’t need them I don’t wanna fuck shit out since my first time back on my Adderall in a while I’d like to take them tonight because I feel like it would help me come down, help me sleep and help my back pain this would also give me four days to clean time in order to not combine opiates
I’d like to know that my first time usage be used safely, which i’m pretty sure you won’t die off at 2 mg. It seems really safe, especially with Narcan compared to what I was taking without it or anybody to Narcan me if I was to go over my main worry is trying something. I think that may be good for me or safer for me than what I was doing and it causing more headache with everybody else but friends have told me that people are just as fucked up if not more taking it but they have no experience with opiate usage and considering I’ve been doing this shit for probably going on 10 years now I’m just done wasting all the fucking money and time, and I’d like to get my life together I’d like to actually be able to produce music and drop music instead of just sit here and get wasted all the time
1:
So if I was to get any noticeable effects that they be done in the privacy which I usually have between 6pm and 6 am. If you think that I would fit that category, that would still probably get a little bit of a euphoria out of it I’d like to know as you guys are really really really smart down to earth I respect a lot of your knowledge more then most doctors almost 1st sometimes I’d rather have some you guys answer it, especially anyone who takes it, who’s been back to baseline or @negrogesic
your pharmaceutical knowledge, simply amazes me, sometimes the only medication i take now, is adderall xr, gabapentin, clonazepam and hydroxyzine
Otherwise, I’m just gonna call Walgreens or some pharmacy other then my own and not give a name act like I just got a script and I’m want to confirm
As You can probably tell by my ranting that I’ve taken my Adderall, i think to much anyways and I’d like a way to know my options and not just be blindly stupid also if you guys think it would be better to do without the gabapentin and of course I know to not take my clonazepam especially on a trial basis due to respiratory problems increasing
2: what trying to do is prevent a relapse is gotten to the point then I’ve been contemplating trying fentanyl patches, sourcing on the street with people I haven’t seen a script for I don’t wanna ruin my life any further, I don’t want my mom to have to bury her son will close out at the end of the year
Everything I know that this is a pretty long acting medication , it’s about 15 to 25 times stronger than morphine so I’m trying to work out MME equivalent potency status with my normal usage but it’s hard to tell as I’d usually just dump a bunch of kratom no scale, I’d take 40 to 50 mg to the head of oxy and save 10 to 20 mg for when it hit
The last time I took 50 mg it did hit me pretty hard, but it’s straining a friendship status, and becoming to much of a headache
so it’s kind of stupid to take it if you don’t have a active opiate addiction, but every rehab doesn’t understand I’m trying to make a preventative measure and I really think that opiates sometimes help with my depression more so than any other medication
For those that are inquiring…
My current knowledge and headspace: (tldr)
What I’m understanding at this is a long-term acting opiate with partial naloxone to “prevent abuse” I tried this when I was younger, I think along with methadone and those both got me geeked up.. no longer at the point where staying with friends and getting fucked up all the time is cool to me anymore, most of my friends are dead or doing life for an addiction, I: do this the correct way by going to rehab, but there’s nothing I could technically go for right now..
I don’t really know how long tolerance takes to start dissipating and I know it sure to return, but my goal is to not be nodding out or fucked up in front of my family cause it’s sorta a last chance with a lot of people, I’ve been abusing nitrous pretty badly along with the holy trifecta of opiates adderall xr and clonazepam, my goal is to be able to respect these substances and use them as indicated and I know I can I don’t want to go to rehab but I don’t wanna ask my doctor just yet
The spending $600 on tanks of nitrous and getting behind the wheel which I wasn’t using before my wreck but I did have has alarm made that I could have my license taken away. I could’ve killed somebody using them I think my main goal is to escape my situation. I know facing it head on with the therapist would probably be the best attempt but realistically, I’m not gonna commit to that. So given the facts
I’ve got 6 2mg/0.5 sealed strips I would like to try maybe tonight as I think it may help with back pain and a little sleep. I I’ve been quit Kratom for 4 days my tolerance was low enough that that was relatively little withdrawal compared to when I quit called cold three years ago, but I start bruising badly with kratom leading me to worry about liver enzymes or malnourishment
Using it frequently red Bali, trying to not use clonazepam everyday has gotten to the point where I’m pretty much like. Disgusted with myself because I know I could do better, I’m disgusted with myself the way I’m treated my family and the people that love me the most pretty gotten into a pretty dark hole, and the substances only allow me to pardon me with religious speech but I’m letting my demons take over, I’ve became a little too menacing, venemous with my music and I just wanna change for the better cause I’m inviting so much negativity in my life. I’m tired of living like a rockstar, even though this is what I asked, for I should’ve asked for the money as well
So I know I’m pretty confusing. I’ll sum it up. I’m pretty much under surveillance just due to where I’m sleeping but no rent and no major bills is helping me get my debts down, and I have warmth and all the ammenties, normally, I would just ask if y’all think it was safe, but I also don’t want to ruin things with the relationship that starting to establish itself again after a year I moved out of that household and I’ve been pretty much stuck in motion since moving back from Florida for a year, so I don’t want to patch to a place the only place I have really. I don’t wanna sleep at a rest stop anymore, I don’t wanna resort to other things and this is gonna be a test either way cause I went and got the patches because I have no rides anywhere while I’m here and I couldn’t ask my family to run there to check a safe.
story short a little overbearing but I’ve destroyed trust so I’ve made my bad I don’t wanna make it any worse considering I don’t really have an active opiate addiction. I just want to prevent any more relapse or any more failures and it seems like as long as it’s prescribed is not an issue to anybody whether they like it or not.
I think it may be a safer on alternative then taking kratom where you don’t know what’s in it, to substitute in between the times u can get pain meds. They also are just too expensive for me to handle. Id like to get back to a better financial status than I have been and with my current insurance just a preface I can get Adderall XR brand-name, which is generally $650 for like $10. Most of my scripts are four dollars and generally all my doctors visits are paid first and then I come back with a co-pay.
If I had to go to a clinic, I think my family would help me at least with that, until I get my ride fixed which may or may not be an entire rewire, and learn to respect my privileges not rights.
I’ll get off here I just figured this is the only time I had to tell you guys where I’m at create a dialogue for somebody else who maybe just browsing with the same information I couldn’t really find any information anywhere else relating to my situation thank you for reading and thank you for your time. Try to make the best of your situation like I am and apologize for any headaches in advance as I know this coulda just been asked in a paragraph
(Preface)
So I’m relatively back to opiate naïve levels especially for me and when I’ve used it hasn’t really been that serious but I no longer want to spend $40 a week or more kratom that barley works avicb I’ve been using pretty much daily for the past three years, intermittently using 60 mg of oxycodone when I could but sometimes this is the only medication that generally slows my brain down that I think I could come off Adderall and clonazepam, and just use that I also think I may have OUD that I haven’t spoke about to not get flagged in case I did need opiated
It’s gotten to the point that, if I can find something that works and gets paid for by my insurance, and may be worth trying out even versus the risk I could at least work with the doctor, and be honest with them about my constant reflection to take an opiate
That said I’m pretty much the black sheep status in my family , meaning I don’t wanna be fucked up or slurring around them, or nodding out making them worry luckily my family still trying to help me with a place to stay while my car is being repaired that said it’s at a business and there’s cameras all around, but it works for me and my lifestyle. Otherwise I just get an apartment
i’m pretty much fucked up all of my chances with their trust so if a sublingual will cause that to detoriate more, by appearing fucked up, we’re throwing up or nodding out , cause im pretty sure im pretty much still a low level user
I’d like to refrain from actions that would probably
result me having to sleep in my car and glamp in cold weather where I can’t turn it on for heat otherwise I would until it’s fixed which realistically, I don’t think we’ll be done before Thanksgiving, just due to the damage of the blowout
so I’m basically stuck in the situation and I was in 2018 and I feel stuck. I want to make the right choices. I want to see my family proud of me and actually be able to show them music without them thinking that it’s just drug fueled
I’d like to not worry my mother anymore or any of my other family as they’re all pretty much miles away and can’t help
Finally, I’d like to restore my friendship and trust with a previous relationship which I’ve just allow my addictions to be put first
realize the supervision needs to be given with a doctor and he shouldn’t just put patch in your mouth, without any sort of supervision, but this is the best I got in regardless, I still have the patches and I’ll still probably have some point where I’ll at least try one before I throw them away. If I don’t need them I don’t wanna fuck shit out since my first time back on my Adderall in a while I’d like to take them tonight because I feel like it would help me come down, help me sleep and help my back pain this would also give me four days to clean time in order to not combine opiates
I’d like to know that my first time usage be used safely, which i’m pretty sure you won’t die off at 2 mg. It seems really safe, especially with Narcan compared to what I was taking without it or anybody to Narcan me if I was to go over my main worry is trying something. I think that may be good for me or safer for me than what I was doing and it causing more headache with everybody else but friends have told me that people are just as fucked up if not more taking it but they have no experience with opiate usage and considering I’ve been doing this shit for probably going on 10 years now I’m just done wasting all the fucking money and time, and I’d like to get my life together I’d like to actually be able to produce music and drop music instead of just sit here and get wasted all the time
1:
So if I was to get any noticeable effects that they be done in the privacy which I usually have between 6pm and 6 am. If you think that I would fit that category, that would still probably get a little bit of a euphoria out of it I’d like to know as you guys are really really really smart down to earth I respect a lot of your knowledge more then most doctors almost 1st sometimes I’d rather have some you guys answer it, especially anyone who takes it, who’s been back to baseline or @negrogesic
your pharmaceutical knowledge, simply amazes me, sometimes the only medication i take now, is adderall xr, gabapentin, clonazepam and hydroxyzine
Otherwise, I’m just gonna call Walgreens or some pharmacy other then my own and not give a name act like I just got a script and I’m want to confirm
As You can probably tell by my ranting that I’ve taken my Adderall, i think to much anyways and I’d like a way to know my options and not just be blindly stupid also if you guys think it would be better to do without the gabapentin and of course I know to not take my clonazepam especially on a trial basis due to respiratory problems increasing
2: what trying to do is prevent a relapse is gotten to the point then I’ve been contemplating trying fentanyl patches, sourcing on the street with people I haven’t seen a script for I don’t wanna ruin my life any further, I don’t want my mom to have to bury her son will close out at the end of the year
Everything I know that this is a pretty long acting medication , it’s about 15 to 25 times stronger than morphine so I’m trying to work out MME equivalent potency status with my normal usage but it’s hard to tell as I’d usually just dump a bunch of kratom no scale, I’d take 40 to 50 mg to the head of oxy and save 10 to 20 mg for when it hit
The last time I took 50 mg it did hit me pretty hard, but it’s straining a friendship status, and becoming to much of a headache
so it’s kind of stupid to take it if you don’t have a active opiate addiction, but every rehab doesn’t understand I’m trying to make a preventative measure and I really think that opiates sometimes help with my depression more so than any other medication
For those that are inquiring…
My current knowledge and headspace: (tldr)
What I’m understanding at this is a long-term acting opiate with partial naloxone to “prevent abuse” I tried this when I was younger, I think along with methadone and those both got me geeked up.. no longer at the point where staying with friends and getting fucked up all the time is cool to me anymore, most of my friends are dead or doing life for an addiction, I: do this the correct way by going to rehab, but there’s nothing I could technically go for right now..
I don’t really know how long tolerance takes to start dissipating and I know it sure to return, but my goal is to not be nodding out or fucked up in front of my family cause it’s sorta a last chance with a lot of people, I’ve been abusing nitrous pretty badly along with the holy trifecta of opiates adderall xr and clonazepam, my goal is to be able to respect these substances and use them as indicated and I know I can I don’t want to go to rehab but I don’t wanna ask my doctor just yet
The spending $600 on tanks of nitrous and getting behind the wheel which I wasn’t using before my wreck but I did have has alarm made that I could have my license taken away. I could’ve killed somebody using them I think my main goal is to escape my situation. I know facing it head on with the therapist would probably be the best attempt but realistically, I’m not gonna commit to that. So given the facts
I’ve got 6 2mg/0.5 sealed strips I would like to try maybe tonight as I think it may help with back pain and a little sleep. I I’ve been quit Kratom for 4 days my tolerance was low enough that that was relatively little withdrawal compared to when I quit called cold three years ago, but I start bruising badly with kratom leading me to worry about liver enzymes or malnourishment
Using it frequently red Bali, trying to not use clonazepam everyday has gotten to the point where I’m pretty much like. Disgusted with myself because I know I could do better, I’m disgusted with myself the way I’m treated my family and the people that love me the most pretty gotten into a pretty dark hole, and the substances only allow me to pardon me with religious speech but I’m letting my demons take over, I’ve became a little too menacing, venemous with my music and I just wanna change for the better cause I’m inviting so much negativity in my life. I’m tired of living like a rockstar, even though this is what I asked, for I should’ve asked for the money as well
So I know I’m pretty confusing. I’ll sum it up. I’m pretty much under surveillance just due to where I’m sleeping but no rent and no major bills is helping me get my debts down, and I have warmth and all the ammenties, normally, I would just ask if y’all think it was safe, but I also don’t want to ruin things with the relationship that starting to establish itself again after a year I moved out of that household and I’ve been pretty much stuck in motion since moving back from Florida for a year, so I don’t want to patch to a place the only place I have really. I don’t wanna sleep at a rest stop anymore, I don’t wanna resort to other things and this is gonna be a test either way cause I went and got the patches because I have no rides anywhere while I’m here and I couldn’t ask my family to run there to check a safe.
story short a little overbearing but I’ve destroyed trust so I’ve made my bad I don’t wanna make it any worse considering I don’t really have an active opiate addiction. I just want to prevent any more relapse or any more failures and it seems like as long as it’s prescribed is not an issue to anybody whether they like it or not.
I think it may be a safer on alternative then taking kratom where you don’t know what’s in it, to substitute in between the times u can get pain meds. They also are just too expensive for me to handle. Id like to get back to a better financial status than I have been and with my current insurance just a preface I can get Adderall XR brand-name, which is generally $650 for like $10. Most of my scripts are four dollars and generally all my doctors visits are paid first and then I come back with a co-pay.
If I had to go to a clinic, I think my family would help me at least with that, until I get my ride fixed which may or may not be an entire rewire, and learn to respect my privileges not rights.
I’ll get off here I just figured this is the only time I had to tell you guys where I’m at create a dialogue for somebody else who maybe just browsing with the same information I couldn’t really find any information anywhere else relating to my situation thank you for reading and thank you for your time. Try to make the best of your situation like I am and apologize for any headaches in advance as I know this coulda just been asked in a paragraph
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