Any advice to a senior undergraduate who lived past three years as a loser?

[tripdeeper]

Hey, I am now senior at prestigious university who has solved every issue with drug since the first year.
It just started weed everyday, and now I am smoking meth everyday to keep me going to focus in class.
When I try to get off meth, I get so depressed and use coke to reduce that effect.
Yet, after few days I see myself again using meth again to be just satisfied being lonely.
Past three years, I have not meet one true friend. And grades have been flunked as well.
This is my last year and I want to finish it strong and clean.
But I still see myself with pipe on the hand, thinking that I will stop tomorrow.
I really want to do get better and get my life back. At least not being so lonely.
I know it all depends on me, who can actually stop using, but now i am at a stage where I don't believe in it so much.
So I am asking for an advice here.
Please give me some advice what I should do to turn this situation out.
Thank you.

Best,

 

[chompy]

Sorry to hear you struggle with school and needing drugs to get through it. Your brain is going to need some time to heal so get plenty of sleep this weekend, eat as healthy as possible, take your vitamins etc.

#1. At least you know you have a problem. That's the hardest part. #2. Throw the damn pipe away and never go back to the dealer. If its another student you're just paying for their tuition or for their rent. Even my own homie says its 10 bucks for an adderall if I want one because he said he needs to pay rent and gas and stuff.

Perhaps take a communications class, I made plenty of friends through that in my freshman year. Or get into some sort of sports, hang out at the pool hall if your school has one, mine had a bar on campus so I'm sure you can make some friends there. Go to the gym, it will help you during the time you do not do meth. Get into Powerlifting to develop a strong CNS and a lot of adrenaline. Google up stronglifts 5x5.

You can do it, its gonna take time and I am sure someone with more knowledge can add something to help you out.

 

[herbavore]

Sorry to hear you struggle with school and needing drugs to get through it. Your brain is going to need some time to heal so get plenty of sleep this weekend, eat as healthy as possible, take your vitamins etc.

#1. At least you know you have a problem. That's the hardest part. #2. Throw the damn pipe away and never go back to the dealer. If its another student you're just paying for their tuition or for their rent. Even my own homie says its 10 bucks for an adderall if I want one because he said he needs to pay rent and gas and stuff.

Perhaps take a communications class, I made plenty of friends through that in my freshman year. Or get into some sort of sports, hang out at the pool hall if your school has one, mine had a bar on campus so I'm sure you can make some friends there. Go to the gym, it will help you during the time you do not do meth. Get into Powerlifting to develop a strong CNS and a lot of adrenaline. Google up stronglifts 5x5.

You can do it, its gonna take time and I am sure someone with more knowledge can add something to help you out.

There is a LOT of good advice in this post. The communications class is a really good idea.

So you have tricked yourself into believing that the only way you can get through school is on stimulants. But you had the grades to get into this school in the first place. I know it is a million times harder than high school but still, you are really digging yourself a deep hole if you go on supporting this idea. What happens when your first job is even more demanding than school? What happens when you have to look for that job in the first place?

I think you should take advantage of the fact that you are at university and go see a counselor. It is very easy once you get isolated to fall into the traps of fatalistic thinking and compound the loneliness even more. We have an epidemic of loneliness in the modern world--you are not alone! Making friends and having romantic relationships can be wonderful but the truth is that they also take work in the form of risk-taking, compromise and just plain old practice at being more than superficial with someone else.

You are in a scary place right now and I would imagine that the loneliness in concert with the fear of failing and knowing that getting off drugs is not going to be easy is a lot to deal with at once. But really they are all connected so everything you do in area is going to affect the other two.

Use this thread to write your way through some of it. Writing can be a great check-in process. You don't have to write volumes--just check in with yourself (and us!) daily, make small changes and give them time to stick. And be gentle with yourself. Nothing kills motivation like shame.

 

[chompy]

I 2nd the seeing a counselor part. Its free for the most part unless you have to pay for medications which you probably wont need. The fatalistic thinking sounds like learned helplessness to me at this moment, where you feel that if you quit doing the drugs you won't be able to succeed in school.

Easy things to make friends: ask to borrow a pencil or pen etc, talk about random shit like sports or video games or whatever. Just be yourself and confident. Grab life by its neck and squeeze the damn shit out of it like Homer Simpson. We only have this one life and how long are you going to wait to make a move?

You got this man, you already got this far into college, you can finish it.