Ima be trying some lsd in a few weeks. Ive researched about it for like 3+ years. Its rare in my area. Im going back home during the summer. Now its time to try lucy and its with my cousin, possibly the #1 best person i can trip with. Just dealt with bs fake people when i moved to where i live now. I felt so disconnected with everyone for 3 years. Now i will feel back at home, like a kid again, no anxiety and all good vibes around. Im nervous because I feel like thinking that will ruin this lsd trip because theres no holding back, it will be a great time, might teach me some things about myself and in a way heal me. I feel very "out of place." Those are the main point of why i want to take it. acknowledging that i will have a great time makes me feel full of regret and worry if i say it, it will tarnish the experience. Its like as if im jinxing it. Disrespecting lsd by saying it will be a great time and knowing it will be, as if im trying to "control " the trip. Well shit maybe this is paranoia lol. The set and setting is so perfect i feel like saying that weeks in advance that it will be great, will ruin it. :/ lol, i know this sounds so freaking silly but man anxiety got no limits!
Any thoughts?
You wouldn't call it paranoia. It's perfectly normal to be anxious about your first LSD experience. The most important aspects are no doubt the aspects you've studied the most - set and setting. These pivotal areas of any psychedelic trip will define the entire experience and what you take away from that experience.
When I first took LSD I took it with a guy that took drugs just for fun, verging on his 30s he was a rebellious slightly juvenile character who had misfortunes growing up and had brought those personality traits into his young adult life. A lost soul defending his last strands of self representation of self. What this means is for me anyway, we didn't connect on that emotional or spiritual level because he didn't feel he had those levels to connect on in the first place, he did of course but.. He denied them. He effectively controlled the trip because he couldn't let go of his unconscious content. I can remember quite vividly stood underneath a underpass where on top, a train track going in both directions and within 30-45 minutes I felt a funny sensation almost like I had drank enough alcohol to feel slightly dizzy. After around a few hours later of us walking around an idyllic rural English village , I came to realise that this guy who I had come to become friends with was at heart a nice guy but not compatible with me on such a deep level and here we were, tripping facing a beautiful mountain in our own world's but miles apart in more ways than one.
The lesson I learned from that although compressed for your benefit so I could tell you the gist of the story is, set and setting are very important. Even though I knew this beforehand, I didn't know exactly how it would pan out and it ended up panning out in a way that we (me and my companion for the trip) both fought each other for head space and I ended up at times feeling conflicted and anxious and at times, was trapped in bad thought loops.
To ensure this happens, you need to take with you a friend you can rely on. Someone who in life away from different realms of consciousness is on your side, someone you feel confidence in and comfort. Otherwise, you may end up conflicting due to unwritten misunderstandings like we did. Not that in itself that is a bad thing. After all we are all adults and we don't always have to agree and we live in a world where we have to get along with each other but out in the middle of nowhere, high on acid... You need the best company you can get. If you disagree with each other often, if you fight or have conflicting beliefs, those WILL come out and it may end up a psychological fight for control which in turn may end up a fight over the trip itself. Back to me and my friend and my first trip, nothing really went sour to be honest. We never fell out whilst high. We didn't do anything stupid. We are both grown men yet, I felt like I'd of enjoyed that experience so much more with a different person if not on my own. Set and setting are very important.
As for preparation. There is never enough preparation for a first trip. You can't gauge how you feel when you are hitting the peak of an LSD experience. What you feel like sober and what you feel like deep into an LSD experience are two completely different animals. You may find alot of your experience involves regurgitation of unconscious material. Maybe past memories, the way you felt as a child, the juvenile happiness you may get from your first experience.
I have to say this, on my first experience, I felt like a kid on his way home from school. A 12 year old boy on an adventure, my little rucksack on my back, smile on hand. It felt rather strange yet magical at the same time. Many people report feeling childlike emotions and many do regurgitate deep unconscious material whilst using psychedelics which is why for the most part many people use them (psychedelics) in the first place as a healing tool and therapeutic door to infinite realms of consciousness and reality. If you happen to go through any of what I've just mentioned, embrace it! Some people come out forgiving abusive family members or traumatic experiences (PTSD, depression, other traumas etc) , accepting death (end of life cancer patients etc) or spiritual and religious experiences (meeting God, the maker, the creator, spirits of good and evil etc.) and self affirming experiences (cathartism, realisation of errors in past judgement, personality, belief about the world, self, others, change for the better etc)
Just realise, anything is possible. If you have all the variables in place; environment, location, weather conditions, provisions (food, water, shelter if necessary etc.) and good company then the only problems you will face are the problems you put in front of you at the time or the problems you have deep within your unconscious mind and don't fight it, embrace it, be open minded, be positive, get yourself out of bad thought loops by doing positive things, talk to your friend, engage and smile and enjoy your first LSD experience
