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Anti-Narcissism

Frog Dreams

Frog Dreams

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 17, 2023
Messages
434
This has been lingering in my brain for years.

It seems like society only approves of hatred towards a handful of mental illnesses: narcissism / sociopathy / psycopathy.

People openly (socially) criticize narcissists. They also diagnose them.

(It tends to mostly be women calling men narcissists. This is weird because women tend to be much more narcissistic than men, IMO, but YMMV... and that is entirely besides the point of this thread anyway.)

What I don't understand is: why the hatred?

It's not like severely autistic people are pleasant to be around. I'd much rather hang out with a narcissist.

Bi-polar people can be really difficult too, but I've never heard anyone criticize people for being bi-polar.

Why are there certain labels we are not sympathetic towards?
 
Maybe people hate the first group because those mental illnesses can actually be used to become successful and rich while mental illnesses like a bi-polar paranoid schizophrenic aren't going to do the same?

I don't know, but I like the question
 
@Electrum1

Yeah, I've suspected that... petty jealousy definitely plays a part, but there is more to it than that.

Some people who are labelled narcissists (and dismissed accordingly) are not rich or successful.

@afellownarkar

Yeah, people definitely confuse self-love (and self-confidence) with narcissism.

We should encourage others to embrace the fact that they are amazing, not the other way around.

Seems like self-loathing is much more socially acceptable than self-love.

Strangely, it is okay to tell people they're amazing but if you say "I'm fucking amazing!" people get weird.

We are often nicer to others than we are to ourselves. We forgive others before we forgive ourselves. We compliment others but to compliment ourselves is vanity. etc
 
My thoughts:

Narcissistic and sociopathic traits are more common than we'd think. The USA basically encourages these behaviors. And the lack of empathy can be used as a weapon (which is IMO what is magnified in articles and a big part of the negative stigma) although it's not always a conscious thing. It's mainly for self defense/preservation.

Psychopaths I believe are more incidentally cruel as opposed to purposely, contrary to articles claiming they are 100% aware of their wrongdoings. I also believe they are more or less "dormant" if grown up in a "prosocial" environment, until an event "triggers" their mostly ruthless genetic makeup.

While the lack of empathy can be a problem in society i don't think it's as much of a conscious choice as people think.
 
someguyontheinternet said:
I have definitely seen people shit on being bipolar as well. Maybe not as commonly but I've heard it used in a derogatory fashion
Click to expand...

Yeah that one's a bit harder to destigmatize but I believe the biggest thing there is that it manifests so differently for each person, cycle length, triggers, medication adherence or resistance, comorbidities, other disorders mimicking symptoms, it's just very hard to give a blanket statement and say one understands everything bipolar. Anyone who claims to know everything about bipolar disorder doesn't know what they're talking about about.
 
Yeah I frequent a lot of bipolar support groups and you'd be surprised how often I see people saying "oh so our dates were great and then they found out I was bipolar and they dumped me". Having seen the devastation in my own relationships it is no wonder. It is hard to love people with certain mental illnesses.

Interesting thread though I like it. I think overall there is this tendency to overdiagnose and misdiagnose people by laymen in culture. Things that are legitimate mental disorders just boil down to some label for specific behavior. Instead of actually having narcissistic personality disorder, that person is just a narcissist because they've shown some narcissistic tendencies. Which is obviously problematic and not doing anyone any favors.
 
Narcissists have feelings too. Contrary to belief possibly. They are human. And they are people and they have feelings too.

bbl . . . maybe.


Oh.

And someone could also be a psychopath their whole entire life and you may not ever know it . . . . unless they gave you a reason to.

I am sure it is how we all interact that counts though.

Love it though. (nice thread) :)


Oh and of course we all should have a little narcissist in us all, I am sure. ;) Just some food. (for thought) As well.
 
someguyontheinternet said:
Yea the ones in the bucket pull the other turtles down who try to climb out, keeps them trapped

that's why people hate narcissists
Click to expand...

Ah, I see what you're saying now.

Thing is: I've never met anyone who has outed themselves as a diagnosed narcissist. I may have met a diagnosed narcissist, but I can't say for sure.

Most of the time it seems to be people calling celebrities / billionaires narcissists... or women calling men narcissists.

So, who are these turtles?

I don't care if the CEO of a big company makes a shitload of money. They aren't pushing me down in a bucket. I don't want their money or their position of power. They can climb their futile climb. I'm happy right here.

The metaphor - turtles in a bucket - isn't how I perceive society. I don't have an axe to grind with anyone. Life is pretty easy in Australia in 2023 relative to life in most countries throughout the vast majority of history, so who am I to complain?

People have a tendency to find something to be unhappy about. Even the narcissistic CEO types are never satisfied because we are trained to always want more, more, more.

I'm not trapped.

kiely said:
Narcissists have feelings too. Contrary to belief possibly. They are human. And they are people and they have feelings too.
Click to expand...

Absolutely. I don't believe in dehumanizing any group, including racists. It just pushes them further away.

Everyone was an innocent child once.
 
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Frog Dreams said:
Ah, I see what you're saying now.

Thing is: I've never met anyone who has outed themselves as a diagnosed narcissist. I may have met a diagnosed narcissist, but I can't say for sure.

Most of the time it seems to be people calling celebrities / billionaires narcissists... or women calling men narcissists.

So, who are these turtles?

I don't care if the CEO of a big company makes a shitload of money. They aren't pushing me down in a bucket. I don't want their money or their position of power. They can climb their futile climb. I'm happy right here.

The metaphor - turtles in a bucket - isn't how I perceive society. I don't have an axe to grind with anyone. Life is pretty easy in Australia in 2023 relative to life in most countries throughout the vast majority of history, so who am I to complain?

People have a tendency to find something to be unhappy about. Even the narcissistic CEO types are never satisfied because we are trained to always want more, more, more.

I'm not trapped.
Click to expand...

🔥
 
While I stand by what I said earlier and try to give others the benefit of the doubt, it's unfortunate that, in my opinion, it seems like lots of very confident and otherwise non disordered people are misinformed and lack accountability for their words and actions.
 
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@Madness

Ignorance is bliss (and blissful people are confident), maybe?

My experience differs from yours. Confident people tend to be more informed, if anything, IMO... They are definitely happier.

Confidence is the natural (non-depressed, non-anxious) state.

Some people fake confidence to compensate. I'm not including them.
 
When you said narcissism I assumed you meant clinical narcissistic personality disorder.

Yeah I see your point. What I said doesn't apply to everyone.
 
Like I said on another thread, narcissists are made not born; sociopaths are the ultimate expression of that. Bi-polar, schizophrenia, and psychopaths are born. They are also medications to deal with these mental diseases. Narcissism is a bad personality trait. Sociopaths are just completely self absorbed assholes who care about no but themselves. They also tend to think of themselves as perfect. It is not a disease, the same way bi- polar, psychopathy.
It falls into a category know as: self centered piece of shit. It is a hugh personality flaw. There are all kinds of meds for psychopaths, schizophrenia, and people with the various bi-polar disorders. Sociopaths no meds that I am aware of that exist, let alone work, it is not a disease. Is there a cure or treatment; I don't want to get banned again.
 
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^ I more or less agree - pervasive narcissism I think is an adaptation and often comes with the expense of suppressing natural emotions. Sociopathy can be a result on the extreme end.

I guess OP was talking about the run of the mill "narcissist"? Like everyone I know basically? Yeah I mean I just call that confidence and everyone should utilize it to one degree or another.
 
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